Annelise- My ex gf disclosed to me but didnt tell me all of the things she would do to take precautions. That is vital to me... That the partner has facts and figures plus tells me what she/we can do to mitigate risk. All relationships end. I just hope my next one ends when one of us dies of old age.....
Delphi- You know what I think? I think you like his honesty and may want to see him. If you do, just text him and tell him you would like him to reconsider. Then take it slow. I was honest with my ex and broke up in person. I love her but know she doesnt really love me. If you dont want to see him, dont reach out.
I want to know how this progresses.
I think I am right.... Mull over what I am saying.
Kay beauty- Been thinking about you. I disagree with Miss Hope but we are all wrong sometimes and maybe I am, now. I believe that disclosure is vital. But. So is timing. If he believes that you are amazing, sexy and everything else. He will wait and abstain because you asked. I have things that are very private to me that I know cannot be disclosed in the first 60 days. Things that would make most run. So I disclose between 60 and 90 days. It isnt a secret. It just isn't appropriate at day 1. These disclosures arent about my health, they are facts about my family history. Once they know me better, they can grasp how strong I am and stay or run. The facts bother me at times but mostly make others uncomfortable. I say abstain and continue to be the great person you are. Love is a state of mind. A way of living. You give love without the expectation of reciprocation and sometimes it is like screaming into the abyss, other times it comes back like an echo 10 fold.
I actually spend most of my time on the other parts of the site trying to help people come to terms with their diagnosis by offering support, rather than talking conjecture every day about possible cures.
Wilson supports people by giving advice on testing and diagnosis and I spend quite a bit of time on the other parts of the site and he is right a lot of the time, despite his brutal delivery.
And my comments were directed to GKH. No physical symptoms, negative blood tests and he believes in hellfire and damnation for anyone that has sex outside of marriage........you get the picture!!
Pretty- There is a greater chance that anyone you bump into has hsv1 than doesnt. Disclose with excellent, factual info and move on if he doesnt accept you. I think one of the reasons my gf broke up w me was hsv1 cause she tested -. And that is ok.... It's all a choice. I dont judge her for that. Now if it was because I would not meet her exactly where she wanted one day with a 5 minute notice, the judgment is coming out!!!
Hi Destroyed, I'm Sansa... I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. Blah and Lisajd are right...your life is NOT OVER, this is just a CHANGE. You've been through changes before....do you remember getting your first period and being kinda freaked out over it, but after awhile you get used to it and you deal with it cuz it's just part of the deal? That's what HSV is...freaky and scary, but once you really know what it's all about, you WILL ADJUST and you will DEAL.
Trust me....you are NOT a NASTY WOMAN (donald trump perspective, and maybe a little like how you feel right now...most of the sane people in the USA know that he is a wacko). You are beating up on yourself based on the fact that herpes 2 is an STD - I don't know which type you have, but it really doesn't matter cuz a lot of people have a very strong emotional reaction to the word herpes. You got a virus, honey, and the virus doesn't care who it decides to infect...you and a hella lot of other people have it...the only difference is that now you KNOW...please reach out to someone for some support. I am sure you would not reject or think differently of a friend or family member who had an as-yet incurable disease...you would love and try to support that person...and you need help right now to show that compassion and acceptance to yourself.
If you read through a lot of the stories here, you will see people who react as you are now...and then they reach out for some support and information, and they start to move away from freaking out towards acceptance....it's a process and no one here will say it's easy. Please do try to breathe and realize that this is not the death sentence that you believe it is right now. If I had to choose between the permanence of herpes or death, I'd choose herpes every time - because of the two, it is the option that gives you the chance to have love and laughter and life. Choose life, Destroyed, the fact that you came here is proof that you have hope and you really don't want to die.
I also dont think you have a duty to disclose to prior but like a couple others said, it may help someone else.
Personal choice. I would want to know if I was the person right before the first known ob.
You sound very mature for your age and that will help you get through the initial shock and emotional trauma. Just learn as much as you need to, but I agree, too much can send you crazy. At some point, we need to just live our lives again.
I did read from a medical journal that clinical studies showed if you take the medication for 12 months as soon as possible after the initial infection, it can help your body reduce the viral load of the disease. I know that not everyone likes the thought of taking daily medication, but you can decide for yourself
KP96- That is awesome. I broke up w/ my gf of 7 mos because I didnt believe she would love me. She started nit picking tiny things at 5 mos on our way to church (I was smacking my gum), broke up with me via text and her longest rship was 3 mos with a bf. I didnt want to risk my heart being broken on top of getting hsv2. I know it is selfish and people judge but I look at it like some will with HPV and cerv cancer if females and males couldnt get gardisil.
Why would anyone wish anyone to be removed. Just because we hold different views is no reason for exclusion. It is important to be challenged otherwise how would we all progress and actually get things diagnosed for example.
Shiukd I wear my yellow star? Or a scarlet letter?