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legolives

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legolives

Hi. Two weeks ago I found some bumps on my labia. They were not painful just very alien to my natural look. They concerned me greatly.

I am a mid-twenties, attractive, relatively successful female with a sense of humor. The possibility of carrying a life-long STD knocked me down a peg or two in the realm of confidence. I practice safe-sex, had few partners, and I am currently in my second (what I would consider) long term relationship that has so far lasted 7 months. I love him dearly.

Fast forward to now. After an initial doctor's visit, the bumps did not respond to antibiotics. In fact, they got worst. Some became painful and a few blistered.

Tomorrow could very well determine the course of our relationship. I will find out if I have been infected with an STD (my fears think herpes). I know that I will be devestated if he chooses to end the relationship. I have already spoken to him about the situation, what I have done to educate myself and him, and protect him if necessary -- even if it means losing him.

My sense of rationale tries to remind myself that this is manageable. That I am capable of finding someone that WILL work through this with me and overlook it to see how amazing I can be and that unfortunately, statistics are on my side.

The reality is that I am as fragile as the next person, will cry endlessly if I do lose him, and this single test result holds my life on a very thin thread of limbo.

I'm wishing the best, and planning for the worst.

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curecomingverysoon

Well I don't really know what to say.

Has he indicated that this is a deal-breaker for him? And has he been tested? Could he have given it to you?

You know that the odds are against you giving it to him (if he's negative) and you go on anti-virals and/or use condoms? 98-99% good that you won't give it to him?

What exactly are you planning on doing if it's positive?

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legolives

I haven't figured that part out yet. I do know that I will tell him immediately. We'll sit and talk about it tonight and I'll leave the ball in his court.

I also know that I am his longest relationship next to a marriage and that if I give him the credit he deserves, he may not discard me so readily, like my worst fears project.

But the fact that I am a planner is ultimately what's killing me -- because I have no control over what his reaction will be (that's the beauty of him.) and the inability to predict slowly eats at me through Christmas.

At least I'll know on the New Years.

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curecomingverysoon

See my advice in SelfAssured's post. Your chances of transmission are extremely, extremely slim if he is not infected (has be been checked? a lot of men are asymptomatic) -- he might have been the one to give it to you?

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legolives

So, it's Jan. 5th and i still have no results. The holidays have really effed the timing on my lab status. But regardless of the news, it's given me plenty of time to self heal. :)

I concluded that I would be okay regardless. Granted, in the meantime I have accepted the possibility of the worst and this factor alone is making the idea less and less shocking and me more pro-active about my health. (Though I do have a lot of friends wondering why i am not drinking ...)

My boyfriend is seemingly supportive, but then again, we haven't gotten official news yet and well, anything could happen. Albeit, not having any sexual activity seems to be having a little strain (at least for me.) It's been at least a month since we've had sex because my infection (whatever it is) hasn't completely gone away, and we still don't have answers.

Talk about frustrating.

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legolives

Got my viral culture results today and they came back negative. Since then I have noticed another area of irritation and I want that tested too.

I'm afraid I may have a false negative. Again with the waiting, as my next appt. is not until Thursday.

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curecomingverysoon

I agree with lifestillgood. And have you gotten a blood test (igg serological)?

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legolives

Partner hasn't shown any symptoms and I'm pretty sure his bloodwork will come up with showing antibodies to the virus because he gets coldsores, like I do. Doing a culture would be pointless because, again, he has yet to show symptoms and if the virus is not active enough in the skin, it'll show negative anyway. (This is information gathered from reading the boards here and speaking with my doctor) So we're waiting on my test results and figure out what's going on with me before we move forward.

When I was tested in June with blood tests antibodies were apparent there, however it was attributed to my cold sores. Naturally the blood test I did in December showed the same results.

I think now it's a matter of catching the virus in the act while it's on my skin. The bumps look familiar to blocked hair follicles and have white heads and some get really irritated and painful. They are all very sudden and frustrating. The fact that it's a month later and we still don't have a clue what's really going on, and we're still speculating is what's driving me crazy.

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legolives

Hello again! (Thanks to folks keeping up with me on this.)

I went in today and specifically asked to retest my culture, also specifically asked for a blood test that differentiates between 1 and 2. I'll find out results next week.

Partner should be getting insurance soon, but I got numbers to call in case we need him to test sooner for prices on testing. I want him to test at the same clinic I go to since we're trying to figure this out together. This could be costly. Oy.

Thanks for the continued support,

lego

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legolives

I finally got my second round of results back and all of my tests came back negative. The culture showed negative for HSV 1 and 2 (again) and the blood test came back as negative specific for HSV 2. So these are good things. I am being referred to a dermo in the meantime because we still can't quite get an idea of what's wrong. My mother seems to have a sneaky suspicion that I could be dealing with MRCER. Scary.

Anyway, there's the update. x__X I wish I knew what the hell was going on. Jesus.

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