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SelfAssured

Life isn't over

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SelfAssured

I was diagnosed 12 years ago with genital herpes. I had been in a relationship with my now husband and after a year of dating him exclusively we both had an outbreak and had no idea what it was. My first outbreak was extremely painful and that's what prompted me to go see a doctor. Diagnosis made on site and a culture taken from the blister confirmed it.

I felt like I had a huge x on my forehead and that I would never get beyond the stigma of having it. I was not a promiscuous person, how could this have happened to me was the only thing I could think about.

6 months later we were married. We've had 3 beautiful children; my eldest was a vaginal delivery with no complications. My son was delivered C-section because he had heart decelerations (sp?) with the contractions. My youngest daughter was also delivered C, simply because the doctor was not comfortable doing a V-BAC.

I use to have outbreaks during menstruation, but once I started using Valtrex I have been asymtomatic.

Life does go on and you and your partner will get through it together, whether they have it or not. If they can't handle this very common virus then find someone who can. You're a great person and this is not the end of your life. Finding someone who understands what the stigma has done to you will only strengthen what you have together.

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legolives

This is really beautiful post and I want to thank you for posting a happy ending (that is on-going) amongst the sea of sadness.

Thanks,

L

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curecomingverysoon

SelfAssured, what a nice post! Thanks for sharing.

L, we have many many happy endings here. Also check out racoon.com, there are a lot of long-time H'ers over there as well.

Your first reaction if you are confirmed as positive will not be the most rational and is definitely NOT the time to make any sort of rash life decisions.

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SelfAssured

Skin Deep

That's all the virus is, is skin deep. My husband and I love one another for the people we are and have become. I can say 'honey, not now, I'm having an O.B.' and for him to look at me simply say, 'ok', is so comforting. And to him, when he has an outbreak, I tell him 'when you're feeling better.' We share a new respect for one another.

I can also say this, before we had our first child, our marriage was a little rocky. We were both adjusting to married life and it was very difficult; he'd never been married and was 37. Yes, very set in his ways. A close male friend of mine showed interest in me during this time and although I was flattered I told him that my husband and I were going to get through our troubles. I also told him what I had. He was shocked, naturally; little miss goody two shoes had herpes - stop the insanity. Anyways, once he got an education from me, he was fine. In fact, he still persued me to no avail.

It takes a special person to fall in love with a special person.

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legolives

My boyfriend and I discussed the outcome yesterday -- there isn't one!

The holidays were so damned slow with the lab results that the culture is still pending and I am still waiting for the phone call. I am treating the situation as if I DO have herpes and have already started making healthy adjustments (some I need to do anyway. Vegetables. Ew! LOL)

We talked about transmission, safe ways for us to stay intimate and the things I will do to make sure he is protected. He had some questions, but otherwise didn't seem disgusted by me and the possibility that I may have a mild lifestyle change. I even confessed that I joined a message forum and he laughed at me (for being overzealous and silly, if responsible. ;) )

Whatever the result, I think we will be okay.

Thanks for the support and the words of encouragement from you both. You two really helped out a lot.

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