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Moving Forward

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Moving Forward

Hey everyone!

I have been diagnosed with HSV2. I found out over the phone two months ago and I know who i got i from. I was the girl who thought she could never catch anything and actually got out of a relationship with someone who had HPV in fear i would catch something. Little did i know, i already had HSV2. I had rash and went to the doctor. She took a swab and said it didn't look like anything.

I'm always second guessing people so i made her write me a persciption to get blood word done for every STD in the book. She called me a week later and told me she had mixed news. She said the swabs were negative but the bloods test showed up positive for HSV2. She said at some point (8 weeks prior) i had been in contact wth the virus. I thought that meant i had it but it went away. She informed me that it will never go away but is easily managed. I have never once had any sign of symptom of it but it kills me inside.

Sadly, i know who gave it to me, and the day i found out i had herpes i attended the guy's funeral. He passed away from a heart condition only 3 days before i found out... And i had gotten back together with my ex of 6 months and we never used protection. He got tested and came back positive. i don't have the heart to tell him he got it from me. He doesn't seem to care who gave to to who. He told me i'm still the same girl in his eyes and something as simple as herpes could never change the way he sees me. I feel so blessed to have such an understanding boyfriend.

But everyday i deal with the pain of knowing that the guy who gave it to me, who i cared for deeply, passed way. He never knew he had it. So within 3 days I'm hit with my very close friend's death and herpes...i have developed anxiety and panic attacks. I feel dizzy and my heart rate is fast. The doc said there's nothing wrong with my heart. But i just wonder when this anxiety will pass. It's been two months...does any one have any advice? i can't talk to my friend because eveyone here talks and i don't need my town knowing that i have this.

Any advice is so greatly appreacited. Im new to the forum and to Herpes. Please help..

<3 always,

Moving Forward :???:

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