Distressed & Unsure - any thoughts welcome

[trying to stay calm]

I'm feeling very distressed. It's a long story - here goes. Recently I was travelling in a country where I didnt feel ok to go to a doctor. I had started itching around the pubic area, and the vaginal area (mainly labia) became irritated and inflamed and then a lump formed.

A couple of times over the last 15 years I have had similar lumps which had been diagnosed as cerbacious cysts and I was told they were harmless and they were - disappearing with a little cream applied. I must admit this time it did seem a little different - but seeing as I was returning home 10 days later I thought I would just wait and get it checked out then.

I now wished I had paid more attention at the time to exactly describe it (no mirror was available either) - or had treated it more seriously and did whatever it took to get some good medical attention. I didnt think it was anything serious enough to worry too much about. Though, it did seem more like an ulcer rather than a lump now when I think about it.

Anyway by the time I had returned home and had seen my doctor the lump had disappeared and there was just still a mild itchiness and according to the doc mild inflammation internally and slight discharge.

She took a swab - but I dont know what she was testing for and lamely I did not ask her at the time. A week later the tests for the swab came back ok - however during the internal she had discovered a bulky uterus which I needed to be ultrasounded for (but that's another story for another board - sorry to digress!). Anyway, end of story was she put the vaginal matter down to probably thrush, being in hot and humid conditions of the country I was visiting.

Today I received some news from a man I had fooled around a little with (once!)- however no oral sex or intercourse took place. I must admit there may have been a very short period of external genital contact. At the time I asked him whether I had anything to be concerned about and he was absolutely certain that I didnt. In my naivete I thought as long as you werent having oral sex or sex without a condom that you would be ok.

Anyway, he was informing me that he had recently had a blood test and has been advised he has been exposed to herpes virus - however says he has never had symptoms. He thinks he knows who had infected him in the past and believes they had not been honest with him. He went on to say he his doctor believes I have nothing to be concerned about as we had not exchanged fluids and he had not been displaying any symptoms. He was just informing me as a responsible measure and doesnt think I have anything to worry about.

I have been freaking out eversince and researching the net like mad for info and checking out my diary etc and I am now concerned that episode may have been a mild breakout of herpes- based on:

* 3 days after the event I had a bit of a fever and contracted an ear/throat infection (had put that down to immune system lowering due to change in diet).

* about 2 weeks after the event was when itching and irritation began - and then the lump/ulcer thing.

* it occurred a few days before my period was due

* it took about 7-8 days to disappear.

*there was some discharge -(but nothing that freaked me out at the time).

I put in call to my doc today to see if she could confirm whether or not that swab had been tested for herpes or not. Although I was sweating by the phone I never got a call back today.

Anyway from the material I have read the swab may not be accurate as the lump had disappeared by the time I went to the doc.

I spoke to an std clinic today who said not to worry about it unless a repeat episode occurs and then to get it tested as this is the only accurate confirmation. Are they kidding? How can I not worry about it? How do I know if I am carrying a virus and how am I to deal with this until I know? What if I have it and it now just remains dormant? Now I have become a lilittle more educated I am aware it can be asymptomatically shedded - which is quite possibly how I may (or hopefully not!) have caught it from this man.

I would be so grateful for anyones opinions, advice or support on this.

In moments of optimism I have thought that perhaps it has just been all amazingly coincidental - as my symptoms certainly seem milder than what I can compare to others on this site. I didnt have any pain, and I cannot recall the lump being fluid filled or painful - just more irritating - and couldnt say it was a cluster (unless the lumps are very tiny and cluster to form a lump of less than 1/2 cm in diameter???).

I am trying to remain calm and hope to talk to my doc tomorrow to find out if she had tested me for herpes - but unfortunately perhaps that wont mean anything if the lump was gone by then.

I admire the courage of the said man who has informed me, however cannot bring myself to reply to him at this stage. I am just too upset and don't know what to say. He does not know about what happened to me since (I had never linked the 2 incidents at all.)

Would really love some support here. Many thanks to all for your honesty and openness. All of your stories have made me feel it is ok to reach out and ask for help.

[Lasmom]

wouldn't we all love a little support -

your worry shouldn't be that man - it should be the lumps you always get. He never had symptoms and only found out he may have been exposed?

Get tested - but I doubt he gave you anything

[miserylovescompany]

Get tested if you have another OB...but make sure you have a sore that can be swabbed at the right time...

[hopingseeking]

"however no oral sex or intercourse took place. I must admit there may have been a very short period of external genital contact."

I would say no, you probably didn't get herpes from that incident. Of course, to rule out whatever these lumps have been in the past, you should get a type-specific herpes tests. It'll tell you pretty conclusively whether or not you have herpes.

[BoxofRain]

definitely get a type specific blood test asap.......you dont need to wait for another outbreak/or symptoms or what not to have it done....it will check for antibodies in your body to the virus, which would be in your system already if you do have it. good luck

[Renee]

I agree with the others...it's very unlikely that you had anything beyond a yeast infection or blocked sebacious glands. If it's been more than 3 months since you've been with this guy, I would get a blood test...more than enough time should have elapsed for the antibodies to show up. But really, I doubt if that's what you have going on. Take care...