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blu3143

It's been eating away at me for a few days now...

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blu3143

So I'd been hanging out with this new guy I work with for a while and he seems like a really nice guy. We got drunk and messed around a few times and one night when I was reallllyyy really drunk, we ended up having sex. Unprotected. Now I promised myself when I first found out I was hsv positive a few years ago that I would never let my self slip up like that. But then I got too drunk. I literally puked at the bar and then drove to drop him back at his house, where he asked me to come in because he said I was too drunk. I had told him before when I was sober or sober-er and we messed around that I didn't want to have sex unless he had condoms and I really wasn't ready for that yet anyway. After it happened I talked to him the next day about it because I barely remembered it and I felt kind of taken advantage of first of all because of how drunk I was and second of all because IT SHOULDN"T HAVE BEEN UNPROTECTED. Ugh so I talked with him about the fact that I felt taken advantage of and uncomfortable and he apologized, said sorry a bunch and told me I was a good person and he never meant to make me feel like that. I felt so sick to my stomach I couldn't get it out to explain to him the rest of why I was upset. I keep trying to get it out because we've hung out since and I just get so tongue tied. I mean I've had "the talk" with people before and its gone smoothly but its ALWAYS before we have sex because I've always been able to draw the line. This is an entirely different type of conversation and I don't know how to approach the subject. Of course it happens to be someone I work with too. I feel really awful for letting it happen but at the same time I'm still mad at him a little because I felt like I got taken advantage of. On the plus side I've been outbreak free for nearly a year and have had it for 3. I need advice please I'm more then a little stressed.

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TheArcheologist

It's a shitty situation, he shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that, I would just say we need to talk and tell him. There was a good reason you didn't want to have sex and he should have respected that.

On a different note. DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE!!!!!!!!! I'm a first aid responder and work EMS I've seen the wrong side of that equasion to many times for my liking and it's never a good out come.

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svo

kind of a sick twist on the situation but maybe from now on, he'll think twice about taking advantage of a drunk/vulnerable girl.

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bennismama

I agree, he's going to learn his lesson the hard way. I'd just tell him that the reason you set the boundary where you did was because you have HSV and wanted to make sure he knew before you two were together.

On the flip side. Although you did tell him your boundaries, these tend to get ignored with alcohol. I would recommend not drinking in situations where sex is possible, I've been there and was also taken advantage of by my best guy friend when I was in high school.

If it becomes an issue at work, you always have the freedom to leave or to let it be known that you won't be bullied by someone who takes advantage of drunk girls.

I'm sorry that the lesson for both of you had to come this way.

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