Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
curiousone

Question on Spreading And Preventing Herpes

Recommended Posts

curiousone

I am currently in a relationship with a girl. She has told me she contracted genital Herpes 5 months ago. This has obviously upset me, but I've decided to stay by her as long as it safe for me to do so. I've read if she takes her medicine, and has sex outside of outbreaks, it reduces the chances of her spreading it to me? I also read that it is through skin to skin contact, in which herpes is transmitted.

In this case, condoms only protect the actual penis, so would be better to wear boxers or shorts whilst having sex, so there is no skin contact as the penis would go through the "slip" where the button is?

Or am I just be overly cautious?

:(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MsLucy
I am currently in a relationship with a girl. She has told me she contracted genital Herpes 5 months ago. This has obviously upset me, but I've decided to stay by her as long as it safe for me to do so. I've read if she takes her medicine, and has sex outside of outbreaks, it reduces the chances of her spreading it to me? I also read that it is through skin to skin contact, in which herpes is transmitted.

In this case, condoms only protect the actual penis, so would be better to wear boxers or shorts whilst having sex, so there is no skin contact as the penis would go through the "slip" where the button is?

Or am I just be overly cautious?

:(

I'm a female with genital herpes, but when I think about it, I doubt it would matter whether I was male or female. My response would be the same... if you're more afraid of catching herpes than losing me, I don't need you in my life. Sex through boxer shorts? That's degrading.

Your comment that you've "decided to stay by her as long as it safe for me to do so" says it all. When you enter into a physical relationship with someone who has herpes, there are no guarantees. That's just how it is. So, if your "staying by her" is conditional on a sure pass on the risks, you'd be doing both of you a favor by saying goodbye now. I have a feeling that if somehow she did manage to pass it on to you, the poor girl would never hear the end of it, even though it was your decision to "stay by her."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
curecomingverysoon

Well, some people do go the boxer shorts route, it's true. But that's more of a paranoia thing. If she's on suppressive treatment and you're using condoms then the odds are 99% that she won't pass it on to you -- pretty much negligible (in the words of my doc).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
alittlenothing

Although I certainly see the logic behind it, I agree that the idea of a guy insisting upon leaving his underwear on while having sex with me is horribly depressing. You must take into account that this girl is being really responsible, using two of the most effective methods of avoiding transmission. If you're still paranoid enough about getting the virus to consider sex through boxers, you might suggest she also wash with anti-bacterial soap before sex and start taking herbs or eating foods to boost her immune system (lysine, garlic, echinacea).

Of course there is always the risk of the negative partner being infected in a negative/positive relationship, but you might try to see it in perspective. This is perhaps an extreme case given that herpes is incurable, but there is always a point at which you must choose to trust your partner and take a risk over ruthless self-preservation. Are you willing to take the .1% risk that you'll get her pregnant every time you sleep together, which is comparable to the risk of her giving you herpes? The risk that she'll cheat on you? That she'll possibly infect with you a more serious STI?

Also take into account that her actions prove that she's determined not to spread the virus to you, even if she's not gone to extremes and decided to abstain from sex to avoid it. I think that for most of us HSV-positive folks, spreading the virus to another person is our worst nightmare, and if our partner is especially worried about getting it, we'll do absolutely everything possible, within reason, to reduce the risk. So, she likely feels like she's done enough to be able to risk what is one of her greatest fears coming true. You just have to decide where you stand, how much you trust her judgement.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
whataboutbob

I don't think it is degrading

I most often keep my boxers on during sex with my girlfriend. I am the infected partner. I was told that most viral shedding occurs where you initially saw sores, which was not on my penis but in the pubic region. Since condoms do not cover that area (I use them anyway) I feel as though wearing boxers is important to keep that area covered. She has never asked me to do it, I just do, and although we have never discussed it, I feel like she is okay with it, and I can tell you I personally do not feel degraded by it. I take them off occasionally on special occasions, but I feel like if I have a condom and the boxers there is zero percent chance of spreading and that makes me feel a lot better.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
chooseyourbattles

I would rather have a guy wear boxers with me than turn me down. I think she will be ok with any precautions you want to take.

You sound like a nice guy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      69,741
    • Total Posts
      470,272
  • Posts

    • BioHacker
      Meds and condoms is really all you need. Statistically, HSV2 is so widespread because 80-90% of  people who have it are unaware that they have it, and so they don't take all recommended precautions (including using condoms). Oddly enough, if you were to replace your HSV2+ girlfriend (aware of HSV status, using condoms, using suppressive meds) with the average American woman (unaware of HSV status, but 25% risk, which is average - and using condoms at all times, since presumably you could insist on it), you would actually NOT reduce your risk of HSV2. The statistical risk would be approximately the same for both theoretical girlfriends (about 0.7% per year assuming sex 2x per week). That is a bit simplistic, because maybe you could decide to date only women who are verified virgins (essentially no risk), or maybe "below average risk" in some way (younger than average, fewer prior partners than average, etc.), or you could have all prospective girlfriends IgG blood tested for HSV as a condition to dating them (or having sex with them), which would reduce the risk significantly (especially if you confirmed the paperwork), but not completely (since antibodies take some time to develop). At some point, beyond-standard precautions become inconvenient and not worth the hassle (or risk of being perceived as paranoid). The risk isn't zero, and probably would never be zero, short of taking extreme measures. Efforts to reduce risk beyond standard practices, which already reduce risk to relatively low levels, are naturally subject to the law of diminishing returns. Accepting some level of risk is (unfortunately) part of the deal in most reasonable endeavors. Also, there is statistically a greater likelihood of two people passing HPV between them one way or the other, than HSV2 (assuming all recommended precautions are being taken). Of course, you could get the HPV vaccine (everyone should!). But the vaccine only covers 10-15% of the types of HPV that are out there. And tests for HPV are imperfect, and generally not available for males. And HPV (some types) can cause cancer (cervical, penile, and throat - maybe others). So, keep that in mind as well. And then, of course, there are all the other risks . . . Best not to be paranoid though . . .
    • WilsoInAus
      That’s correct. HIV is a distinct virus. No virus morphs into another one.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @thebrightsidegirl I hope you’re going ok, I’ve read your posts and will see if I can draw some threads. I see that you have genital HSV-1 and your partner has oral HSV-1. I’m not sure if he has tested but given it’s somcommon there’s no reason to disbelieve that’s what he has. This is the best concirdant scenario you can hope for in a sexual relationship. You both already have the virus and your immune systems are established and your experience with herpes is your own. You cannot induce an outbreak in each other by virtue your own HSV-1 and transmission to a new location on your partner is too small to worry about. If HSV-2 is present, then it needs to be brought to the relationship. It’s not at all likely you have it given you were infected genitally with HSV-1.  I suggest these symptoms are very unlikely to be related to herpes at all. If they are, then it’s far more likely to be a recurrent outbreak issue with your HSV-1 as opposed to an initial infection with HSV-2. 
    • hopeing
      Ozone is basically toxic to humans at high levels. Its probably as likely to kill your cells as the virus. Add to that the virus is not in the blood and I'd say this 'treatment' is probably totally ineffective and if it does include high levels of real ozone likely dangerous. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ozone_therapy
    • thebrightsidegirl
      Hey Wilson , do you kids answering this , i was kind of worried too ? 
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.