Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
flames

just for tonight

Recommended Posts

flames

hi

Ive joined here hoping to meet some genuine people who wont run a mile when I bring this up.

I found out today I have the....grade,number, level (I have no idea) 2 herpes to my suprise, and the neglet, of the hospital (it was found in november) and the cretin that gave it to me!!! and Im so so so so angry!! Im a 28yr old, healthy, hygenic,attractive, normal, happy person and I just cant stop crying, I know there are so many people worse off out there than me an that is why for tonight an tonight only Im allowing myself to cry and make it about me. I have no idea where to start with this.

I mean is it better to stay single and not let anyone in for the pure humiliation of bein turned away, to be honest thats not what scares me the most, its the telling them and the knowledge being passed on!! its so hard to build a good and nice reputation which will be torn rite down with this kind of information due to the stigma that goes wit it. How vain am I that I care more about people knowin about this that acctually bein alone.

I dont know who to tell I feel too guilty to tell my parents. I wont let this beat me I know that much I beat cervical cancer last yr, altho with that its not classed as repulsive is it?? its not something that they can catch. I dont know where to start. How long do I wait to tell a potential partner? I would NEVER sleep with some1 without them knowing!! is it better to be alone with the secret. should I only date people with the virus. do I tell my friends? how ironic a girl with a phone full of names and noone to call. thanks for just listenin xx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
flames

Any advice would be greatly apreciated. I hope and pray I didnt come across selfish or arrogant as I know we are all in the same boat xx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PositiveForce

You should stop crying. Despite may people's best efforts it doesn't seem to cure HSV. Your not vain. Look at this site, or any other like it. Nobody uses their names due to the stigma.

Tell your partner before it gets intimate. There is plenty of literature on that. Remember this feeling and resolve not to make anyone else feel like this.

Try to find some comfort in the fact that you're not alone.

And if you want to find some strength, resolve to help get rid of this virus by supporting research. $5/week on that, rather than a coffee or two might go a little further to making our lives better.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
lioness

Hi I've recently been diagnosed as well and I have had many of the same thoughts you've just told..

I have been able to be very upfront about it to the people that really need to know (those people being my boyfriend and my mom) and they have been very supportive and patient with me.

As far as telling future partners, I have decided that I'm going to be just as upfront about it. If I am on a date with someone, I will tell them then. If they reject me, then fine. If they don't then that's great too. Because I feel the same way as you - I would NEVER subject someone to the risk of getting this without them being warned first.

Being so honest about it is probably easier said than done because I haven't had to go through any of that yet, but I still have my ideas on how I want to deal with this from now on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SkiMan

You are far from alone. We all feel some of the same feelings but they do lessen with time. I promise. I have had this about two years and every day gets easier. It knocked the crap out of my confidence but I am getting it back.

Someone will desire you for you and won't care about the H.

ps. I haven't told anyone and that is acceptable. Nobody has to know unless you want them to. Your oarents don't need to know unless you wish to tell them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ginnyp

I have HSV2 and I also have HPV, which caused CIN III on my cervix, which is just before cervical cancer. If you had cervical cancer, then you probably also have HPV, as 99% of cervical cancer cases are caused by HPV. HPV is also a sexually transmitted virus, and it is the MOST PREVALENT one out there. Almost everybody who has sex these days will get some form of it, as there are many forms of it. So yes, someone can catch it from you. BUT most people never ever show any symptoms. Most people get it under control, and especially men. The high-risk HPV that is associated with cervical cancer hardly ever affects men.

I had surgery for my CIN III dysplasia this past summer, and just over a year ago I was diagnosed with HSV2. It has not been an easy year. BUT yes, there are many people out there who are knowledgable or who are ready to become knowledgable about these viruses, and we can still find love. My bf is negative. He has been willing to take the risk with me because he knows I'm worthy. He wants to be with me, and be my bf, regardless of the viruses. He likes WHO I am. So don't think you have to stay alone, or date only those with the virus. 1 in 4 women has it, so that would put a lot of damper on a lot of men's wishlists. A lot of them don't realize this yet, but they WILL. Just take care of yourself and date when you're ready to. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
flames

a new day

thank you all so mauch for the advice, its amazing how a new day brings new hope and realisation thats its not all THAT bad. I mean Im functioning properly and nothing really has changed apart from one day I will have to go thro some form of rejection or embarrassment and wh that day happens I will have friend here who can help, guide and stand me bk on my feet . I hope from what I start to learn like you all I will be able to pass on advice an support. A MASSIVE THANK YOU AGAIN XXXX

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
loudandlovely

telling someone is scary the first time, but you will have a good idea before hand of how it will go...maybe not if they will be okay with it, but if they will be an asshole or not.

being ad educated as possible about herpes will be a huge help, both in relationships and managing it's effect on your life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
English Rose

Hi Flames, i couldnt believe it when i read your post it was almost like i had written it myself....Im found out i had HSV-2 2 days after my 30th birthday at the end of November and i am just about at the end of my 2nd OB. On the other side of things ive been honest with a few of my close friends and my mum and dad, my sis and her husband too all of them have been fantastic and i realised that nobody else changed there opinion of me, it was just my opinion of myself that was different. :( if you ever wanna PM me please feel free. Gotta say this site has been a total god send. Take care.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

Advertisement

Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.