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Soybean

Told the truth-still getting sued.

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Soybean

I disclosed to the person I was dating on more then one occassion of my std prior to any sexual contact. I am not a horrible person-I did everything a reasonable person should do which including protected sex at all times and full disclosure.

The relationship ended later on and then I am hit with lawsuit saying I gave it to her and absolute lies that I did not disclose. While at this time I am not even sure she got it from me-I certainly never want to experience this again.

Any suggestions..also what are people doing beyond just disclosing to protect themselves from people willing to lie like this.

Anyone else in this situation-how are you defending it with your attorney-any successes?

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motorcyclemaintainance

It continues to puzzle me how anyone can conclusively prove they contracted HSV from any particular person.

Sorry, Soybean, but I don't have any legal advice for you.

On a common-sense basis, it would seem improbable that you can sue someone for a condition that affects either 68%+ (HSV-1) or 26%+ (HSV-2) of the US population and is most likely without symptoms. But I've been told anecdotally that in fact you can. Just out of interest, does anyone have any primary-source links to cases where this has happened?

If you live in europe the stats are even higher, 93% of the population of Italy, in the case of HSV-1, for example.

Perhaps lawyers should promote STD clinics to do blood tests for herpes and then most of America can go and sue each other?

Isn't it going to be hard to prove that he/she contracted this from you, when one quarter of the population carries it?

Anyway, sorry to hear your story. Good luck with everything. If you have the money I would guess that a good lawyer and the scientific evidence I've linked to might go a long way to winning if it did actually go to court. With an epidemic of this size, how could individual culpability be determined?

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catiesmom

My guess would be you'd need someone to corroborate your story - a friend she told, a family member who knows you have it or may have discussed it with her. Something. I don't know. I don't know how anyone could sue someone after being told, anyway. Not being told, i can see - but if you really did tell her, that's just underhanded. My guess is a witness would be a huge help.

(but i have no experience, so get a lawyer!)

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Sophie D.
I disclosed to the person I was dating on more then one occassion of my std prior to any sexual contact.

Hmm, I guess I will be the harda-- here.

What did you tell her?

You said that you disclosed it to her on more that one occasion. That is kind of weird phrasing to me. It sounds like you told her and then she forgot or got amnesia so you had to disclose to her again or something.

You mean you discussed your status on more than one occasion?

I am not a horrible person-I did everything a reasonable person should do which including protected sex at all times and full disclosure.

I do not know if you did everything a reasonable person would do.

I think I am a reasonable person and I think it is reasonable to take Valtrex and use a condom and abstain from sex during outbreaks. did you do that?

More importantly, was she comfortable with the risk that she was taking in having sex with you with X level of protection? It does not matter if you used all the methods or none if she was comfortable/not comfortable with the risk then that is all that matters.

The relationship ended later on and then I am hit with lawsuit saying I gave it to her and absolute lies that I did not disclose. While at this time I am not even sure she got it from me-I certainly never want to experience this again.

Need more detail. How long after the relationship ended before you got a lawsuit.

Really a lawsuit filed and not a letter from an attorney?

Any suggestions..also what are people doing beyond just disclosing to protect themselves from people willing to lie like this.

Anyone else in this situation-how are you defending it with your attorney-any successes?

This was discussed in other threads, but...I think it depends on how much you are willing/have to spend for peace of mind.

Someone suggested visiting your doctor together so that the doctor could explain the risks (hopefully correctly) and there would be a definite record of the disclosure.

Very nice if you can afford it.

But other suggestion could be to get tested at the same time. If you had another partner before the new one you should get tested again anyway and you should want to know what the status of your new partner is right?

Tstd.org It is an anonymous testing service, go together and exchange your pin numbers. If anyone ever got mean and wanted to go public with the other person's status, your name would not be attached to the test result.

Also, have the person sign a document that says they understand that you have herpes, you keep it. Maybe even take a picture of them with the doc in case they say you forged their name (now that person would be far out, but...).

Just some ideas...I would want to protect myself because there is buyer's remorse.

I can imagine a person willing to take the risk, you break up with them and then they are angry that they have the disease and then change their mind...

HTH

Can you give us any time frames here?

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