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My name is Mike. I was diagnosed a couple years ago. My girlfriend at the time did not know that she had it but I broke out, she called the same night(before she knew I broke out)and told me.

It was not such a big deal at the time, a bit of adjustment and thought and research and we both were pretty okay with it since we were staying together.

Well, it's been a month since we broke up and I'm kind of at a loss...how do I get back into the dating world? How do I initiate the talk? I'm excited to browse the forums and talk to people to find out how they approached these and other issues.

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Hey Mike,

Being a newbie myself, I have only had to do the "talk" once. I was just diagnosed last week and had to break the news to the guy I was seeing (and having unprotected sex with). I didn't have symptoms so I didn't know I had it. He took it well, but it was hard as hell to do it. I chickened out and did it over the phone. If I could have a do-over, I would have done it in person. I have found that even now that he knows, it's still really hard to talk about it. I want to talk about suppression and treatments and how I feel about it and all of that, but it's really hard to bring it up in conversation. I guess that's why I'm here.

Anywhoo, I've read a lot of great things about the dating sites designed for HSV positives. Maybe that would be helpful, just to break into the dating world and get the hang of it again. But if internet dating isn't for you, then look at it this way. You'll be a lot more selective and careful when choosing partners now, which may not be a bad thing.

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I also had my talk after being diagnosed AFTER having unprotected sex with my partner. We had unprotected DURING my first ob and 3 months later he tested negative. I had no idea I had it until that first ob, so it was dormant for at least 2 years.

My partner did not take it well, but he did not leave me. Now we've been together for over a year and sometimes we joke about it. We've come a LONG way since then.

It was hard in the beginning to bring it up. Then he made it clear that he wanted to support me, and I found myself talking about it a lot. Now we don't talk about it as much, but if I need to bring it up or if I'm having a bad day, I talk to him about it.

Even though I didn't have the talk the way most talks go (you already know and decide to finally tell) my talk was awful. I had no idea what to say, and he had no idea what to do. We made it through but it took a long time. Luckily he saw something in me that made him stay. He still hasn't ever been tested for type 1. He will ask for that at his next test, because I'm wondering if type 1 helped him to NOT get my type 2. I mean, we had sex when I had a sore (without knowing) right at the entrance so I'm wondering if he had a little bit of protection there already. If so, he's never had cold sores. We shall see someday.

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • WilsoInAus
      @MikeIke you won’t be normal until you believe you will be.
    • MikeIke
      Having second thoughts on letting it go. Daily it has been : Mouth : redness around lips, lots of breakouts around lips, white skin crusting around lips Penile : Meatitis, redness, urethritis, glans sensitivity, dysuria, shooting pain from urethra, white peeling skin sometimes New: fatigue, random skin depigmentation, pain spreading into butt as nerve pain Girl i was with mentioned "the hsv blood tests are so inaccurate" - - how would she know this? Planning on asking once I know she won't lie.  Next step is meeting with a new urologist. Retesting igg today 14 weeks.  11 week igg and hiv was neg. 12 week igm was neg but may have waited too long.  I just want to be normal again. 
    • cowpoke02
      forgive heals your self .  plus crazy people love you to suffer and not be happy . being happy ruins them not you . the goal is to make you go to hell .  happy you shall be .. keep you healthy and less out breaks .  stress kills immune system and feed the disease and diseases ..   ptsd and insanity is fed by stress. cure is to forgive yourself for getting used or played and enemy . both in a bad spot or they mentally ill with no empathy feeding off hurting people.  so stay happy ... life traps people play you or whole life even parents siblings .. first one to kill ya rob in end is family . you get other ones inheritance .. many people have no empathy and driven to hurt people . mind defects .. you get beat down your nervous system goes to hell you end up with insanity and psychosis ..  delt with it .  learned a lot but now nervous system is gone . damaged for life . never trust people. i have to move away to get better . sell everything off and get robbed .  so don't get trapped stay healthy . forgive the idiot . maybe he got it out in society as well.  maybe he knew or messed around .. forgive for your self .. not for the idiot .  maybe both victims .    enough rambling . trust your gut even if its wrong its right . lol .  true the other cheek is a good rule and get evidence and keep watch . bad people who would kill you in right chance they set you up and play you from the beginning  . they be friends with every one else and undermine your life ..  so smile and get out and secret vice things and security ..  you flip out they say our crazy with straight face . you hang your self basically . many times media does it too they hang you out to community then they may beat you as well.  why be happy turn cheek . plus they can be your helper on inside .  good to not even let em know your stressed they feed off it.  any way that covers the whole spectrum of why you forgive and forget and in the end it points at the bad guy ..  they smart they break you down over time with mind games and emotional damage .  one day figure it out and yu snap . you become the bad guy they look clean .  you muddy up the picture and more facts against you than them . in court they can have people against you witness than for you .  evil set up / they trick you into evidence against you while they covertly did stuff to you maybe for years .. had siblings recently lie in your face and in front of people and act normal . then see em go bye net day smirking and grinning.  they know mommy is retarded and loves all kids even  if they rib and play her ..  evil people.  disturbed me deeply .  they can pass lie detectors lie to alll .  bring up when you snapped after lifetime of abuse vandalism threats ..  evil as hell . good luck ..  thats why forgive forget gather evidence . don't buy the farm till you find out not moving into crime ring or mad man neighbor . lol. i still can't believe it . half alive at this point ..  nervous system goes your in torture and financial distress and lose entire life .  they drive buy make sure you know they watching you .  make sure see hear them . to keep destabilizing you ..  this can be family special if they have narc dna like mine.  i am not a narc so they all got me at bottom and play me for fun .. once i leave they have to bet on each other ..  they all ready one .. evilest crazy people on earth protected by the law and usually have connections and other crazy people .  be good have fun be safe .  
    • jmherped
      well, the bht isn't as great as I thought really, this outbreak has gone the full cycle.. although not as bad as it could have been.  My thyroid is pinching my windpipe, and I get gut inflammation when it flares up with the herpes outbreak, so thinking I have hashimoto's.  I can't really afford to do blood tests though, and I'm hoping that it's not the case that my immune system has gone rogue and now attacking my thyroid, but it wouldn't surprise me as my immune system is hyper active and it just doesn't stop the attack.  My immune system is in a state of dysregulation.  I'm taking some cheap generic aciclovir here but the fillers create terrible side effects and it is not as effective as the valtrex, though that is not saying much, though I did not give it enough credit as it was keeping my relatively afloat.  I have a shipment of famciclovir coming in and will try that for 90 days, and then probably go back to the valtrex.  I'm taking my game to a new level in order to enhance t cell functions, remove all extra external sources of inflammation, and potential autoimmune triggers.  I need to regain control of my hpt axis.  I'm currently doing bone broth fasting for three days and have bounced pretty well from that, gut inflammation gone and neck swelling coming down, still the last residual blisters in the back of my mouth, around the epiglottis and that mucous flesh back there.  When I start eating again I'm going to be doing sardines, spinach, sweet potatoes, full paleo ai diet.  There a ton of information about regulating the th1-th2-th3 system on selfhacked.com, but this is complicated stuff, and it gets so expensive.  My shopping carts at iherb and amazon right now are over 1000 for just one month of stuff, so this isn't going to work for me.  The thymosin peptides look very interesting.  Thymosin alpha is used for treating hep b and c, and it is immune modulating.  I'm not sure what is going on, so supplementing would be trial and error, whereas thymosin alpha should do what I'm trying to achieve automatically, if it works.  Hoping to get it soon from the pharmacy here.  I tried 35mcg of T4 levothyroxine as few days ago and it was the worst experience of my life, very bad trip, horrible effects.  If I end up on that crap I would probably rather be dead.  Thank god for the low dose naltrexone and methylene blue though, these two are life savers.  5 mg of methylene blue gives me full brain power and good body energy, and seems to knock back the herpes.  LDN, is really good for feeling better.  As soon as I'm done with my swim I feel the endorphins just cranking out and it really helps to calm the nervous system.  Quite a lot can to experiment with diet/supplement wise, and I feel it can mostly be done with diet.  I'm dropping back to 500mg bht, and will stay there.  It does make the valtrex etc combo work better, but I haven't seen any great benefit from higher doses.  I will let you know how the thymosin alpha works for me.  I'm pretty sure most of my herpes symptoms are coming from the attack on my thyroid.  I am hoping it is not an ai attack, but from what I"ve been reading, all signs seem to point that way.  The next time i talk to the online doctor I will ask him if it is possible to get inflamed thyroid from herpes without the immune system self attack involved.  If it is autoimmune, I will guinea pig myself with a shot of stems in the my neck, I would rather die than lose my thyroid.  Well, good luck everybody.... 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @raregem that’s most generous of you to provide all interested people on this forum with free herpes treatments, just the way nature intended.  Thank you. Pip... Pip... 

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