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notamused

showering before/after sex - alternatives?

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notamused

i was just thinking, maybe instead of having to have a full shower before and after sex perhaps some kind of antibacterial wipe could be used? anyone got any ideas about that?

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itsnotover

I didn't realize that it was neccessary to shower before and after sex?

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notamused

apparently, both partners should, to help reduce the chances of transmission.

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curecomingverysoon

This is an "apparently" -- hasn't been substantiated (ie studied) but some people feel more comfortable with this. Most people don't.

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itsnotover

Wow, I've never heard of that before. I think that would be degrading having to scrub yourself and your partner after sex (which may or may not prevent tranmission)?! I think I would also feel really awful if my partner scrubbed himself down with an antibacterial wipe (which probably wouldn't be effective anyways) after every time we had sex. I understand taking precautions, but isn't this a little extreme? That's just my two-cents :cool:.

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Flicken
Wow, I've never heard of that before. I think that would be degrading having to scrub yourself and your partner after sex (which may or may not prevent tranmission)?! I think I would also feel really awful if my partner scrubbed himself down with an antibacterial wipe (which probably wouldn't be effective anyways) after every time we had sex. I understand taking precautions, but isn't this a little extreme? That's just my two-cents :cool:.

Well, considering that soap kills the virus, I don't think it's extreme to take those measures. My guy and I don't wash before sex, but do wash down after we're done. Only for a minute or two. I know it's kind of annoying and takes you out of the mood, but as soon as we're done washing off we go back to cuddling in bed, and I can fall asleep with more peace of mind than I would've if we hadn't washed off.

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itsnotover

I guess if soap kills the virus and washing down could prevent a partner from infection, then maybe it's worth the slight feelings of degradation. I also read that " ... use of spermicides (which kill the herpes virus) is an important part of any prevention strategy (link below)." Does anyone else use spermicides to prevent tranmsission?

http://www.healthsquare.com/fgwh/wh1ch11p4.htm

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Ultra Violet

why does having a shower have to be degrading? I quite like showers together after sex :)

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itsnotover

It's not that showers in general are degrading, it's the concept that someone has to "cleanse" themselves after sex with me that is difficult. I too like a shower after sex from time to time ... but not everytime, and not because I am "dirty". I know that's not the way I should look at it, and perhaps after time I wouldn't feel that way about it, but being newly diagnosed and still trying to process everything makes it difficult to think of it differently. Just the thought of someone getting up after having sex with me to scrub themself makes me cringe ... makes me feel like I'd rather not have sex then feel like sex with me is dirty or tainted.

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chooseyourbattles

I recommend that partners shower after sex. It makes them feel better, whether they needed to or not. Sometimes taking all of these extra precautions makes me feel dirty...but, well, I am dirty, and it is better to have a guy be careful with me then to not get laid.

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curecomingverysoon

For fuck's sake, if we are going to go around calling ourselves "dirty" then how can we ever get people to stop thinking of us as "dirty" and referring to themselves as "clean".

That just reeks of ignorance and/or low self-esteem to me.

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NeedToKnow

If sex doesn't make you dirty enough for a shower afterward, then you aren't doing it right. :p I personally don't want to sleep after having gotten sweaty and the lube that is on condoms and sex fluids makes me itch when it dries. I quick jump in the shower only takes a couple minutes, so why not?

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itsnotover
I recommend that partners shower after sex. It makes them feel better, whether they needed to or not. Sometimes taking all of these extra precautions makes me feel dirty...but, well, I am dirty, and it is better to have a guy be careful with me then to not get laid.

But you're not dirty. And neither am I. How can we beat the "dirty" stigma if we are referring to ourselves in that light?

"If sex doesn't make you dirty enough for a shower afterward, then you aren't doing it right. I personally don't want to sleep after having gotten sweaty and the lube that is on condoms and sex fluids makes me itch when it dries. I quick jump in the shower only takes a couple minutes, so why not?"

:rolleyes: Perhaps you're right. I just think for me, personally, it's hard to overcome feeling "dirty" ... and it's not just the shower. It's all of the precautions that have to be taken in order to have "safe" sex with me. I guess that's just a hurdle I'll have to get used to jumping ...

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anna99
If sex doesn't make you dirty enough for a shower afterward, then you aren't doing it right. :p

LOL NeedToKnow... :)

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bennismama

My husband and I just do a quick wash cloth sponge bath after we have sex, including washing hands really well and our faces. We usually use mouth wash too. It's just our quick ritual before we go on with our day.

As for all this shower talk, to each his own. If a shower is one of the rituals you have after sex - so be it! We personally don't do that because it takes too long, and we have a kid so jumping in the shower most of the time just isn't convienent.

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mayonaise

I see everyone here talking about showers after sex, and I am wondering, would a bubble bath after sex be okay? I think that might be a romantic.

Although I wonder- would having your skin exposed to water reduce its effectiveness in protecting you against the virus? The bubble bath would hopefully change the PH of the water enough to kill the herpes virus...

Does that sound feasible?

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samallen

I totally agree with other posters. Sex is supposed to be kinda dirty and heck let's face it we all get a little gooey after a good romp. I'd rather wash it all off than walk around the house with it caked on. As for the bubble baths... well those give me BV so I just say noooo to those. Women in general should be careful about bubble baths and hot tubs. It can throw your PH off and believe me BV sucks and is hard to shake.

It's sad to think that anyone thinks of themselves as dirty. Perhaps when I was a newbie I thought that but now I'm not too phased. While I was in the drugstore last week buying cold meds three people next to me were getting cold sore stuff. We're not tainted...we're just like a good portion of the population. Happy humping!

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standard

In most Asian countries people shower before and after sex.

I never felt lower because of this.

In fact, I am thankful.

If we shower first, eating and sucking is oh so much nicer.

I'll never go the 69 action whilst smelling unwashed ass again.

But then again, I did know a chick that liked the B.O. smells... but I think that's pretty rare that a girl likes to nob on my cob after a full days work.

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DGD187
Well, considering that soap kills the virus,QUOTE]

I am pretty sure SOAP DOES NOT KILL VIRUSES. What soap will do is wash the virus off. I believe, sanitizer kills SOME viruses. Hard chemicals like bleach WILL KILL viruses. Talk to your doctors, I dont understand why everyone thinks antibacterial soaps kill viruses, because viruses by definition are not alive; they are not bacterial, hense why anti-biotics do not kill the viruses.

And, im not trying to come down hard specifically on Flicken, but I think everyone needs to look into the effectiveness of soap. There could be consequences to believing everyday soap kills the virus.. Just sayin'.

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victim

One should always shower after sex, like after working out in the gym, simple hygiene.

The General's Daughter (1999)

"Nowadays you have to boil people before you can sleep with them."

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