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The First is the Worst?

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Hello. I'm new here- thank god I found this place! I am 20 years old, and was just diagnosed with genital herpes- haven't heard back on 1 or 2 yet. At first, all I could do was cry. I had already been treated for chlamydia this year and I thought one STD was enough for a lifetime. But now this, an incurable virus that might come back to haunt me every month?! It seemed unbearable.

I have a boyfriend whom I've been with for about 8 months. We never thought we'd want to be anything serious besides sex, but have fallen deeply in love ( I hate to sound corny but it's so true!) I guess love will find you when you're not looking for it! Anyways, I was petrified to tell him. He was the one who had given me chlamydia, which I had found out from the doctors on MY BIRTHDAY this year. I gave him a whole lot of crap for it, teasing him for being "dirty", but I didn't really let it get to me because we both got treated and it was over. But now, I find out that I've been carrying this disease inside of me the whole time I've known him.

I think its crazy that I could have gotten this so long ago and just break out now. I am guessing I contracting it when I was dumb and in love with a pianist in a band and playing the "groupie" role for a while. As if I'll ever find out. I know it's not from my current boyfriend because when I told him I had the clap, he was sure to get a blood test of every possible STD.

I had been feeling like I had the flu for about 2 weeks now. At first I thought it was just my PMS, and then over the weekend it got pretty bad. I noticed what I thought was a "cut" down below and when I got another one I knew something had to be wrong. Within 48 hours it got terrible! It is literally the worst pain I have ever been in in my entire life.

I sucked it up and had to tell my boyfriend the night I found out. I had been in a 5 year relationship previously which was based on anything except for truth and honesty, and I wanted to make my current relationship work, and have it be based on being honest and true to my man! He was speechless for a while, but when he held me while I cried and told me how much he loved me, I knew for the first time how much he really meant it. I was so scared that it might be the last hug I get from him, but he has stayed by my side for the past 2 days and insists that he still loves me and nothing is different. We are even looking at an apartment on Saturday. I am truly blessed.

So I went from thinking that my life was completely over, to accepting myself and my condition in a very short period of time. Herpes shouldn't run peoples lives. It is not the end of the world! I have been living with this virus unknowingly for over a year, and have made the man of my dreams fall in love with me while having it. Herpes does not have to ruin your life, though it may put a damper in things! I hope my story makes someone out there reading it feel better, as many of these stories have comforted me in my time of worry.

But now that it's told, I do have some questions that I would love to get answered if anyone has the desire to help!!-- I have a small-ish hemorrhoid that usually isn't problematic to me. But since this, it has become inflamed making it nearly impossible to go to the bathroom. Has this happened to anyone else?

Also, I really hope when they say the first outbreak is the worst they are being honest! This is agonizing! Are there any home remedies I can try while my 10 day anti-viral medicines start working more?!

Thanks so much! Peace and Love!

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I'm very sorry about all the pain you're in. If you want you can read the tips about getting over OBs they have on this site over there to the right, and getting tips from others on the site helps as well. I'm recovering from my first OB too.

I couldn't help but smile when reading your story because it's very good to hear that you and your boyfriend can be very upfront and honest about it to each other. That's very important :)

You sound like you have great confidence. Keep it up and get better soon.

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