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anxious32

InNeedofPeaceofMind

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anxious32

I would like to share my long excruciating story...i was seeing this guy for about a month, and finally decided to sleep with him, we did use protection, and he even asked me if i was clean before we slept together, which at 1st i thought WOW, this guy is very careful and concern with his well being. a few weeks later i noticed the blisters, now this was back in the ending of september, and even though i repeatedly asked him if there was anything wrong with him he said he was clean, but at the same time didnt seem to worried or concern about getting tested himself, for just in case it might have been me to have passed it on to him, which led me to believe that he knew he had it. well after going thru several bloodtest and 2 outbreaks later i was just diagnosed with HSV 2 a lil over a month ago. When i told the guy, he seem very unmoved by it, and i have not heard from him since.

After that it seems that my life went downhill. Im a 32 yr relatively attractive, outgoing, peppy personality, confident with everything going for myself. No i have been reduced to being on antidepressants, and suffering from anxiety and going to therapy. I just feel like im destined to be alone for the rest of my life, i didnt know how to tell anyone, i dont have any sisters, only brothers, but i had to tell someone after i had to be rushed to the hospital with an anxiety attack. I did tell my brothers, and they have been very supportive, and i have confided in a couple of friends, and turns out more people than i expected have this, even my very own therapist confided in me that she has it..but it has had a terrible affect on me, and lately, i do not know if its the stress and anxiety, but i just keep having lil outbreaks, and i take the meds, it goes away, and a few days later it comes back, can someone please help me with this...this only adds to my anxiety, and i feel like im completely going to lose it soon.

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gigi09

I completely understand where you are coming from. I don't have anyone to talk to either. It's scary and sad. And I feel for you because I am in the same situation.

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notamused

hi,

look i felt the same when i first found out, totally freaked out never been so depressed in my life... but trust me it does get easier. I've had many emotional relapses but on average it is getting better day by day. the things that especially helped me were reading up on it - get some positive statistics in your head about transmission, and how many people have this without even knowing, and read about prospective vaccines etc. and talking to people really helped alot, to put it in perspective and reassure me that I'm still the same person.

focus on the fact that the outbreaks will probably diminish over time, I kind of tried to ignore mine at first although they were quite mild anyway, but now its been a year or so I'm trying to keep track of it and I'm taking megaloads of supplements which seem to be helping.

you will feel like you again, it just takes a while.

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SkiMan

You are going to be fine. You sound like a nice girl. I am sure someone will accept you are and someday and you will ALMOST forget that you even have a skin problem.

High anxiety and stress does not help. Somehow, you have to come to grips with this and realize that hsv does not define you. You are still the same person. Big deal. You occassionally might get a pimple or rash.

It ain't no thang. In the grand scheme of things, it is a minor inconvenience.

I have had it for two years now. I lost a little confidence but i am gaining it back. You will too. Hang in there.

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anxious32

Thanks for the support, and im trying to come to terms with this, and i do realize and im very much aware that im not alone, like i said even my own therapist shared with me that she to has GH. Its just i felt that at my age, i should have been passed all this, i was in a 10 yrs relationship, 2 yrs being married, and ive been separated for 3 yrs, and was out of the dating seen for quite some time, so finally when i do decide to put myself out there, this happens, and than on top of that, while trying to be cautious and use protection, BAM, just makes me wonder what else he could have passed on to me, that he didnt tell me about. Thats mostly where my anxiety is coming from.

All my friends, family and coworkers all notice the drastic change in me, in my personality, my appearance, everything, and they constantly questioning me on whats wrong with me, that im not myself, its written all over my face.

I already had problems trusting people, now i really dont think i can trust anyone again. I know there are many people that have told me oh just dont tell anyone and dont have sex when you are having an outbreak, i cant see myself doing considering that is what was done to me and im totally devasted, but at the same time i dont know how i could work up the courage on telling anyone i have this. Maybe i should when im ready stick to meeting guys with GH. Well ill cross that road when im ready, which dont think will be anytime soon.

In the meantime, i am aware that i have to keep myself healthy and try to control my stress, i am trying to quit smoking 7 days, and no cig, i have bought vitamins, C, Lysine, Multivitamins, i have usually been a pretty healthy person, but now im determined to keep it that way. And i sense that the cause of my recent back to back outbreaks has been due to my stress oh and the fact that i was in FL for the holidays, and trying to be my usual upbeat fun self, went on a mechanical bull, OUCH...not a good idea, that where it all started from.

Anywhoo, thanks again all for the encouraging words and for reinforcing that im not alone in this.

If anyone knows of any support groups in the NYC area, please do share...thanx a million

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