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Ultra Violet

He has had coldsores hooray!

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Ultra Violet

Ok... so I went on a first date with this lovely guy and it went sooo well. At the end of the date he dropp me home and we kissed goodnight. Afterwards it occured to me that I didn't tell him about the HSV and I worried that he'd be upset if I told him later.

We went on a second date last night and the first thing he did was give me a big kiss. I realised I had to say something but wasn't sure when and how to start.

So I just asked him "this is going to seem like a random question but, have you ever had a coldsore?"

Him "yeah a few years ago" was his reply.

Me "Oh thank God, now I don't have to worry about giving you a coldsore"

Him "your right, that is a random question. Asking about STD's"

Me "Nah, that question will come later"

I've never been so relieved! Now I just need to tell him about the gHSV1 which strangely doesn't seem so daunting now.

Am I right in assuming that because he's (likely) had oral HSV1 for a few years, that the chances of me infecting him gentitally are even lower than the already low rates? I don't mind sex with a condom but I hate giving oral with a condom!

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notamused

that's great news!

but surely there is no chance of you passing it to him genitally if he's had it orally for years? that seems to be the general concencus.. and so there would be no need to even tell him?

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anna99
that's great news!

but surely there is no chance of you passing it to him genitally if he's had it orally for years? that seems to be the general concencus.. and so there would be no need to even tell him?

That IS great news, yay Ultra V! Notamused, i thought you could still pass it to someone genitally even if they've had it orally for years if the person passing was shedding or had an ob...but I'm a newbie so I'd love to know if this is wrong.

Thanks, anna

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Ultra Violet

My understanding is that his antibodies will protect him but it's not 100%. Multiple site infections are rare after the first outbreak but they do happen. Am I correct?

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notamused

most people seem to say 6 months, and then after that you're safe but I guess like alot of herpes issues its a bit of a greay area...

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Morning

It's rare but it can happen that gHSV can be passed onto someone that already has oHSV. It's great that half the conversation is done. Unfortunately we are never completely in the clear in terms of passing on our condition. Wouldn't it be funny that when you tell him about having gHSV that he says 'whew, me too.' Maybe that's wishful thinking on my part on your behalf.

Morning

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TheArcheologist

It is possible, or else I wouldn't be here. :( sorry if I'm a bummer. But the chances are slim I was just unlucky I guess.

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Ultra Violet

an update

Hi all, i've been AWOL in blissfully happy land sorry! Thought I'd give you an update.

Second half of the talk went really well. He just said "no big deal". We've been using condoms for sex but he's been happy to have unprotected oral sex.

I gave him the fact sheets from this site as well as the talk as I didn't want him to be missing any information. It really isn't a big deal for him at all and I worry that perhaps he's not taking it seriously enough but that's for him to decide, not me.

As far as the relationship goes, he's adorable in every way. Kind, loving, intelligent, fun to be with...the list goes on. Sex is great. I've had one genital ob and one oral ob since we started dating and he was happy to abstain from sex but less happy to abstain from kissing!

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SkiMan

I hope we all have similiar success stories. I am off to the mall to search out and hit on every woman with visible cold sores. :p

Seriously, I am glad everything is going great UV! Keep us updated.

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loudandlovely

congratulations

i love hearing these success stories!

i am still head over heels for my hsv negative man.

has not been a problem at all!

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Ultra Violet

Thanks everyone. So far so good.

Skiman good luck with the mall trawling...if it doesn't work out with my guy I might try the same technique!

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