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The more you read the more you get worried, don't you?!

I am still in the middle of diagnosis but am panicking so bad I don't know how to calm myself down. Do I have Herpes, could I be HIV positive, have I been infected or am I infecting others??? I have worried myself into an early period, loss of appetite & loss of sleep for goodness sake!

I have had all the tell tale symptoms of Herpes over the past week & 1/2 & have to head back to Dr tomorrow for a test as the 1st time around he didn't check for Herpes when collecting cultures & bloodwork.

I'm not really that upset that I might have contracted Herpes (having unprotected sex was my choice) but I am VERY concerned that I might be the carrier of Herpes instead. (guilt,guilt,guilt) I have all classic symptoms of initial breakout but the more I read up on all of this I can also see that I might have had symptoms for quite a while?! I read about things like people having a lesion on their buttocks or vaginal itchiness etc. This could all be written off to an ingrown hair & yeast infection I know but still can't help but worry. I would find it hard to live with the fact that I have infected other people with this STD.

Could I have carried this STD all this time without having the initial breakout until now brought on by the sex or a physical trauma ( I had a fall in which I incurred bruising on the right hand side of my back,buttocks, & shoulder the day before the symptoms came to the forefront) & if so can I hope that I wasn't contagious at the time & hopefully my partner wasn't infected.

I'm getting tested tomorrow for all STD's including HIV. (get to panic for another 2 weeks before finding out results) I just wanted to post this right now to help myself cope with what I am feeling at this time. I don't want to share this with my family or friends right now as I may be over-reacting (especially to the HIV scare) but I can't help how/what I feel at this point in time. If I didn't break out with "pimples" or "lesions" I would be as worried either but I know that there is definately something up.

I can't believe how many different directions my mind goes in within the day since this has started happening. People are really starting to notice a change in my personality & are concerned but I can't tell them anything. (at this point nothing really to tell, just speculate) The only time I forget about all of this is when I'm sleeping & that's been only been for a couple of hours at a time over the past 3 or 4 days.

I have read most of the messages on this site & everyone seems to help each other out so well that I would put this message across & maybe get some advice/comments from all of you to help me get through this time. I'll follow this note up when results come back.

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i think you should calm down and go to sleep. when you sleep, you dont have to think about it. or... keep urself busy!

stop wasting ur time stressing about it. im a hypocrite, but that's the right thing to do. whats the point of worrying? it will only make you sick!! and then you'll be worse off...

i had 2 culture tests and 1 blood test... it's been 2 WEEKS, and i still havent gotten my results.

good luck! we're all in the same boat :) go hang out with your friends...be surrounded by ppl so u dont have to think about it.

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I know exactly what you mean; until I stepped back to gain some perspective (and rationality) on the H diagnosis, I was consumed by it. I too, don't know how long I've had it...my outbreak occured months after my most previous sexual contact, so I wonder who exposed me and who, if anyone, did I expose? Basically, it does no good to think those types of thoughts, nothing productive will come of it.

My gyn annual is in July, and I too plan on having an HIV test at that time. It scares the hell out of me - obviously I didn't "think" I had slept with anyone with H, so like you I wonder, what else may I have contracted? Keep us updated, try not to worry, and look ahead...you can't change what's already done. I really do know exacly how you feel.

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I appreciate you all for answering my post. I'll try & keep good thoughts & quit worrying but it is so hard not to. I was fine today until about 1 hr ago when I had a panic attack & feeling nauseous.

Maybe I'll calm down now that I've read your replys to me.

Thank you again, Valkyrie.

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I know how you feel.I had a risky encounter about a month ago.A few days after I had heard that she had been with someone who had GH.Started experencing all the symptoms and then HIV started to cross my mind.I havent been able to do anything without thinking bout it.When I am able to sleep I have nightmares about HIV and death.I am a nervous wreck. :cry::cry:

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    • WilsoInAus
      Welcome @Marlena correct you and your partner would benefit from the type specific version of the HSV test (meaning a separate result for HSV-1 and HSV-2). I had no idea the Euroimmun or equivalent actually had a combined version, it is pretty useless given the high incidence of HSV-1. Only one thing to add is that if you are getting frequent symptoms then you can obtain a swab and have this tested for HSV and other things as well.
    • WilsoInAus
      Yeah @FirstTimeUser there is nothing in the pic suggestive of genital herpes. It seems both you and your partner have HSV-1 orally and that's actually pretty cool. It means you won't pass it to each other's genitals owing to immunity. If the two of you are concerned about genital HSV-2 then mutually test for the IgG HSV-2 and HSV-1 antibodies.
    • CHT
      Hi "firstimeuser".... let's see what "WilsoinAus" thinks but, for what's it worth, I don't see anything in your picture (or description) that looks like herpes..... it actually looks more like a scrape or follicle issue.... maybe even a bug bite.  Also, by the way, the odds of having HSV2 with an outbreak on your testicles is very low.... that is not a typical spot for an HSV2 outbreak.    Have your doctor take a look and if you want some peace of mind, get an IgG antibody test for HSV2 in about 12 weeks (takes that long for antibodies to develop).... but, again, I don't think you have anything to worry about here.... just not seeing anything herpes-related here.    take care....best of luck.
    • CHT
      Hi Marlena..... since you stated you've had "herpes on the lips" then you likely have oral HSV1, which the majority of adults worldwide have... the fact your results for HSV1/2 are positive (at least I believe that's what your results show - I don't speak Polish but, I think I'm seeing your results are positive based on the attachment you included) may simply be reading the fact that you have HSV1.... the question is whether you've contracted HSV2 in your genital area. Your description of symptoms could possibly be related to HSV but, it's difficult to verify with certainty based on your description. You may also have contracted a different type of sexually transmitted infection (STI) or a simple fungal infection.   Your doctor does not believe what he/she is seeing is HSV but, unless your doctor has experience with HSV, they could easily misdiagnose your condition.  You need full STI testing. Do you have the option to travel to a larger city in Poland where you could get an appointment to be seen by a doctor with more experience with STIs?  You really need to have an experienced doctor take a look and run tests to check specifically for HSV2 as well as other STIs.  If they can rule out HSV2 or other STIs then hopefully they can then determine what is causing the redness, itching, and swollen condition.... again, it may not be HSV2 but, you need proper testing to verify.  Have you talked to your boyfriend about all this?  Has he had any symptoms on his genitals that are suspect?  Has he taken any tests to check for STIs?   I hope you can get more definitive testing so you know what you are dealing with and how best to treat it.  If you have any other questions/concerns, please come back and let us know.... I hope this helps a little.... best of luck.... take care.
    • CHT
      Hey Jeremy.... I know only too well that emotional pain you are feeling.... I really do.... and many of us on this site also know that pain.  It's not so much the physical side of having HSV that hurts, it's the stigma and risk of rejection that stings like hell!  You have to do what you think is right as it relates to when you disclose your HSV status when getting to know someone romantically.... I just think it's best to do it relatively early, and certainly before any sexual activity.   Have you looked into dating sites that cater to those with HSV?  I know others have had some luck with meeting partners on these sites.... you don't have to worry about the "disclosure" talk nor would you obviously have to worry about passing along a virus the other person already has.... take a few minutes and search around and see if it's an option you like. By the way, by taking your daily antiviral med and using a condom, your risk of passing along the virus is down around 1.9%.... pretty good odds that if you stick to your regimen you are very unlikely to transmit the virus....keep that in mind when you meet your next girlfriend and need to have "the talk."  That statistic might help calm any concerns about contracting the virus from you. I hope you don't give up.... as tough as it can be to find the right partner, it's still worth trying.... try to stay optimistic and look into some alternate options and see what happens.... all the best.... take care.
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