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oral sex - never again???

nora222

By nora222,
in Spreading and Preventing Herpes

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nora222 Newbie

nora222

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I've had herpes for nearly 3years now and since I got it I have not allowed my b/f to give me oral sex. I have performed it on him (without a condom and without any oral outbreaks ever), but whenever he feels he wants to go down on me, I never let him. Guess it's the whole prodrome thing I''m not really sure if an outbreak is going to happen or not, so I don't want to risk it by letting him have contact there, then kiss me and then ending up we both have outbreaks or something.

Kinda sad I think I will never have oral sex again. Feels like a punnshment.

As for him, he has it, but I only ever saw small blisters at the beginning of our r'ship when I didn't know much about STDs and herpes. Only later did I contact herpes and then I never saw any blisters on him again.

Sound weird?

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  • 2 weeks later...
Prince Honeycomb Member

Prince

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Hi Nora,

I'm a guy, but am in the same situation as you... And I did really enjoy oral sex as well! :(

I haven't discovered a solution, but wanted you to know you're not alone!

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sleepy Honeycomb Member

sleepy

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okay, so both you and your bf have it? How long have you had it and what type? if its HSV-2, the chances of contracting it orally are slim to none. Plus, logically if you're going down on him with no concern, and he also has the virus...why are you only concerned with him contracting it orally and not you? I really wouldnt worry too much since if it is HSV-2, getting it orally intially is slim, let alone if you've had it a while and your body has built up immunities.

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nora222 Newbie

nora222

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Hey, thanks for your replies. I was wondering if I'm the only one with this dilemma.

Yes, both of us have it. I have been tested, but he hasn't. But I'm sure he has it. The blisters at the beginning of our r-ship have clued me in.

I didn't check the report (it was years ago), but I think it's HSV 2. Why do you say if it's the 2 type that chances are slim to none? That is, performing oral on him. What about him giving oral to me?

I was more concerned about him on me because I have more "outbreaks" and tinglies than he ever has any signs of outbreaks.

Is there a difference in passing along HSV 1 or 2 orally?

Appreciate your replies. xo

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Prince Honeycomb Member

Prince

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slim to very slim rather' date=' not slim to none :p[/quote']

I thought the chances were a bit higher... From the information I've read...

I've heard that self-innoculation is a real danger... Would be nice if I could find some stats somewhere... But I don't think there are any, really... :(

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sleepy Honeycomb Member

sleepy

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I didn't check the report (it was years ago), but I think it's HSV 2. Why do you say if it's the 2 type that chances are slim to none? That is, performing oral on him. What about him giving oral to me?

I was more concerned about him on me because I have more "outbreaks" and tinglies than he ever has any signs of outbreaks.

Is there a difference in passing along HSV 1 or 2 orally?

if you both have the same type, its very very unlikely youd reinfect one another in a different spot. To top it off, if its HSV-2, the likelyhood of an oral infection upon initial exposure is slim, let alone if you've both had it for some time and your body has built antibodies against it. Think about it this way...if reinfecting yourself with a strain of herpes you already have was that easy, thered be millions of two year olds with genital herpes from touching their coldsores and then touching their genitals. If you're concerned, have him get blood tested. If you both have HSV-2.

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yukkyherpes Honeycomb Member

yukkyherpes

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oral sex

This is a very interesting topic. I've had herpes for ten years. My girlfiriend has had outbreaks on her butt but never (that we know of) on the vagina till last week. Now we are both paranoid about loosing our oral pleasures. I have wondered a lot about reinfection both genitaly and orally, any more comments?

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Delilah Established Member

Delilah

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I was infected 5 years ago from my husbands cold sore. I have very few outbreaks. My husband doesnt have genital herpes but he does have the virus in his sacrial ganglia..obviously..that's where I got it from. I would be truthfull in saying that....half of our sex life is oral..alot of times its a mix of both. We have an active sex life. We enjoy oral sex and we will continue to enjoy it. I've had genital herpes for 5 of the 9 years we've been together..and he's not contracted it back from me. I've heard that he cant get it back from me because his body already has the antibodies built up for it. Now, I dont know how well I believe that but that's what doctors have said. I dont know what type we have...I dont think they tested me.

Me and my husband have discussed it several times that there is a chance he may one day get it (or he could already have it and just be having outbreaks..men do that alot with this virus) ..and its a gamble that we take and accept. He feels bad for giving it to me so he almost feels like if he gets it its ok...he'll deal with it. I know that is sorta strange..and I would never wish it on him..ever. I dont resent him at all..it was both of our ignorances. We plan on being together for the rest of our lives so, its not really an issue.

I dont know if this helps anyone but..that's my experience. I say if you enjoy it and you have someone that is going to be with you the rest of your life, do it. I think everything is going to be fine.

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yukkyherpes Honeycomb Member

yukkyherpes

Posted
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oral fun

OK I need to get this straight. You got oral(hvs1) from kissing your husband either on the mouth or penis, but his is stored in the sacral area? But you have genital herpes? All the lit. that I've seen pretty much says that genital is not transferable back to the mouth(but I sure don't believe that !00% because I think the little devils are mainly about being tricky) but do you guys take any precautions at all? It would be great to get back to our same old fun except during obs. Also that oral herpes can be in both areas but genital is usaully not.?

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Delilah Established Member

Delilah

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No..I got genital herpes from my husbands cold sore. So we both have the same type of hsv but he has it orally and I have it genitally. But from what I have heard from doctors and the things I've read he cant get hsv genitally..at least the strain that him and I have because his body has antibodies built up for it from having cold sores his whole life.

And no..we dont use protection of any kind...ever. It's been 5 years and he's not contracted it genitally..so..I think that's a really good indication that we are safe. And like i said before..we both understand that there is a possibilty that he one day may break out...but it's a chance that we take and accept. But so far..so good..

Your question about where hsv can live..both types can live in both areas of the body. Hsv1 and hsv2 can live in the mouth or genitals....but from what I read..you cant have any single type of herpes in both places at the same time. But I dont know how much of that I believe. Because there are posts from people that are just riddled with herpes..all over their bodies. Unless of course they have both hsv1 and 2. And in all honesty..I think alot of it depends on the person..each persons body seems to react differently to the virus..so its kinda up in the air. But if I were you..I would go ahead with your sex life. As long as its someone that you love and trust and care about..what do you have to loss? Just go into it with the understanding that there MAY be SOME risk involved., reguardless of the medical professions "herpes rules". I think this thing does what it wants to do. But when it comes down to it..isnt there is risk in everything in life? It's all up to you. Just be sensible.

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ThisSucks Established Member

ThisSucks

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Ive read both, but went to a medical site where a certified doctor answers medical questions on a forum and he clearly said that auto inoculation was pretty low once you get your first couple of outbreaks because your body builds up antibodies to protect yourself from autoinoculation.

When I had my first outbreak I was misdiagnosed and then popped the blisters which caused it to spread in a couple of places. So now instead of having the damn POS virus in 2 spots I have it in 4.

Since then, I have had multiple outbreaks which have been mild and in an area which isnt very uncomfy and have had sex multiple times with my partner who is asymptomatic. I have not auto inoculated myself since my first outbreak. However continue to have almost continuous outbreaks grrrrr I was doing good for awhile but the last month has been pretty annoying because there has been a rotation one after another in the same exact spots.

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ThisSucks Established Member

ThisSucks

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Re: oral fun

Also that oral herpes can be in both areas but genital is usaully not.?

Yes. Thats what I understand. Its possible to have HSV2 on the mouth but chances are very low. Lower, if you already have herpes and built up antibodies.

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