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She just told me she has it...


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Hi. Here's my story. I only met this girl a few weeks ago and I really don't know her all that well yet. Things were progressing quite nicely in our relationship, and I thought that there may be some potential between us. She is very sweet, and I think that we are quite compatible. I want to proceed very cautiously with this relationship, maybe because I like her, and don't want to screw things up, or maybe because of past relationships that really hurt me. Who knows...

I'll get to the point now. Tonight she tells me that she has GH. She just contracted it maybe a month ago (or at least just had her first outbreak). I am glad she was honest and up front with me. The fact that she told me, even makes me like her more. But now, I am not sure what to do. Like I said, we haven't been together for that long. I like her, but I have felt this way at the beginning of past relationships. I just don't want to do something stupid and pass up on someone that could be perfect for me. I am worried that if I stay with her now, I will end up with H and then things will end up not working out between us (could be for any reason, not just the H reason).

I have read all kinds of stuff in the past few hours and it really didn't bother me until I read some posts here and learned how seriously it effects everyones lives, not physically, but emotionally...I would just like to know if any of you have any thoughts. Thanks.

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I have been in a similar situation except I was the girl with GH. All I can say to you is look inside yourself and see if you can live with something like that in case you become intimate with her and she gives it to you.

The guy I met when I told him said we will take it slowly which we did. During this time he appeared to me as my knight in shining armor. So gentle, thoughtful, and accepting. We dated for 3 months and then we had sex (of course we used a condom and we were very careful with skin contact though I was not having an outbreak). But soon after he freaked out. Any need to tell you what happened afterwards???????????

No one can tell you what to do. But you have to find it within you if you can live with something like this in case you get it

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What's the deal???

Am I living in Lala land???? I'm 25 and have had H for 4 months now and it's affected me various ways, however, I refuse to believe that If I met Mr. Right that he'd be like..."o.k, not so good, let me know when you have an outbreak and we'll be carefull". Am I fooling myself? If I met a guy I was crzay about I'd like to think that I'd overlook his affliction and just not think about it until a problem arised. I am naive aren't I? If I were you, I'd totally pursue this relationship.....you'll never know what could've come from it if you don't......I'd want to know. Disease or no disease. It sounds like you like her. Do you know what kind of saint you'd be in her eyes if you didn't make a big deal out of it? Go for it. Love is love.....

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for everyone that posts an experience here, remember that they're the minority really. Theres millions of people with it that know they have it, and still date and just act responsibly and never infect their partners, male or female. Im willing to be the vast majority of those infected get it from someone who doesnt know they had it or didnt bother to tell, not people who got it in a relationship from a partner who knew and took precautions. Plus female to male transmission isnt as likely...not to say it doesnt happen (me being a male that got it from a female :p )

for every horror story, remember that theres a success story. Its just all in how you focus on it. Probably some of the best things Ive read about it have been MC37 Pilots posts...doesnt seem to be that big of a deal for him now, even though he acknowledges that initially he blew it way out of proportion. Of the people I personally know with it, none of them stopped dating...they just changed how they approach it.

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hey guy.

the best thing you can do is what you are doing now...researching and figuring out what this all means. being informed will help you know if you can go through with this relationship and how you can stay healthy if you do...

but the fact that she told you says a lot about her. she obviously really cares, she is honest, she has a heart. if she can tell you about this, you know you two will be able to talk about anything. think about how you would deal with the situation and how you hope she would deal with it if the tables were turned.

what you are going through now is what i fear most. i am a female, got H about a year ago from someone i have known for a long time. even when i confronted him about it, he lied to me. i fear the stigma atttached, like a guy thinking i got it from sleeping around, which i didn.t. but i haven.t seriously dated anyone since and just kinda stay away from getting intimate at all because i don.t know how to deal with telling a guy what.s up.

in the end, i say give her a chance. hopefully she has researched what she can do personally to keep herself healthy and you can figure out together what you can do about making it work. i know you.re kinda freaked out, but in the end, it.s just a skin rash, isn.t it?

sometimes people need to love with their heart and go with that instead of always trying to love with their heads, with reason, with logic.

the best of luck...

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    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
    • JackThrowAway
      She tested positive for HSV2. No, there was nothing of that sort in that area.   However I also have ulcerative colitis so I’m on medication that makes me immunosuppressed. I have been bleeding a bit when I pass stools during the time of redness, so I’m unsure if I’m getting a flare from the colitis (from all the stress of everything) or if it’s due to the virus making it’s way to an already inflamed area and popping up as blisters that I can’t see and hence the bleeding.    I had two equivocal results (at 4 weeks and 6 weeks) that then went to a positive result (7 weeks after exposure). Combine that with some flu symptoms, redness, tingling etc. makes me feel it’s conclusive that this points to a hsv2 infection.
    • Anonimus
      Thanks!!!!! I appreciate your help.
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