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I'm so scared


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Hello, yeah, I'm only 17 and today i was diagnosed with genital herpes. I think i just really need somebody to talk to. :( I feel dirty and gross and like i'll never have a normal life again. My boyfriend moved out of state a few months ago and I'm sure that's where it came from. Should I tell him or just let it go? I told my mom today. She seemed disgusted but wouldnt say it. She tried to help i think but i have just been so sick all day. I can't eat and I can't sleep. I just need some releif. I want to wake up and it will all be better. Help.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Yeah it sucks. It helps to talk to people about it. Just remember, we have all felt what you're going through. We all have it and we will always talk to you and answer your questions. Also, it's not the end of the world. You can still do everything you did before. It's not like you're paralized or blind or something. You'll feel alot better before you know it!

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Hi, im am 23 and i found out on june 22, I felt horrible, i cried for 3 days, it is important that you read about it and learn as much as possible, if you do you will see that its not that big of a deal, definitely not the end of the world and you wont be alone forever or anything like that, i promise. i just read that herpes 1 (on your mouth mostly) is exactly the same as herpes 2, the only difference is societies view of it. if you educate your self about it, take good care of your self, and always try to be a better person, then you will live a long happy life and H wont interfer. Im here if you ever want to talk ok, be strong.

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  • 2 months later...

hey kimber,

it was just a month after i turned 18 when i found out i had herps and i know how you feel don't let your mum get to you sometimes parents don't understand i had to tell my gran which was hard! as disgusted as you feel and as i have felt somehow it gets easier over time and you learn to accept it i think you should read about it until your brain dead so your educated about what herpes REALLY is some people will think it's a minor skin irration that likes to visit every now and then, others will think you have rabies but if your educated youll know how to handle it and how not to let it rule your life! good luck, jan

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  • 3 months later...

Consider telling the boy

But be careful too, no need for any excess drama. If he's the same age he'll be scared, in denial, possibly try and blame you. He needs the information, he may very well not know he has it.

If you're not positive he was the vector then you may want to just let him know he could have been exposed.

You'll date again and be ok, you'll just need to develop some communication skills (to talk to potential partners) before most people your age are forced to do so. They'll come in handy when you want to have a serious relationship down the road. :) Remember, what you have is, in the end, an obnoxious skin problem. It isn't lethal, just very, very annoying.

I've dated a wonderful young woman with genital HSV 1 for the last 3 years. I can assure you that have H is no barrier to a happy, healthy, personal life.

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    • CHT
      Hi "Jeremy"..... I agree, the topic of your HSV status does not need to be something you disclose too soon in a developing relationship..... get to know each other first....see how it's going and as it progresses, then the HSV issue will naturally need to be revealed.... it's my personal opinion though that before there is any sexual encounter you ought to disclose your HSV status.... I know some will disagree with me on this but, I think it is morally wrong not to disclose first.  This can be a make/break situation for most people but, again, I feel it is simply wrong not to give the other person the whole story since your decision not to disclose could put their health at risk.... that is simply not an option in my opinion.  Looking back to my "pre-HSV" life I most certainly would want my partner to disclose their HSV+ status before intimacy so that I could make my decision as to whether I want to take that risk or not.... 
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Thanks, CHT. I appreciate the feedback. The whole trauma of going through this has led me to figure out a lot about myself and my attachment wounds, so I'm taking courses to come out of this better. This girl really was my dream woman in so many ways, it's been the hardest heartbreak to deal with ever. I'm truly in a lot of pain, but using the pain as fuel to launch that new business and work with coaches. I also opened up to my family about HSV, so my parents and sister know now, and they were very loving and accepting of it. Since opening up about it, I feel way better around this thing. After opening up, I also found out that some mutual friends in our family have discordant couples who are married with children, so HSV hasn't stopped them from living a loving life. The thing is... all of these couples I mention did not disclose until 6-8 months into the relationship. So now I'm thinking it might be better not to disclose until I know things are very serious. I'll of course stay on the medication and use protection, but maybe this is a better route than disclosing upfront and scaring women off.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
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