Jump to content

I need to tell her... but how?? HELP!


Recommended Posts

I am currently 22 and have gotten cold sores for most of my life (ever since I was 5). When I was younger I never knew what the virus was exactly and I simply went by the rule that if I didn't kiss anyone while I had a sore, everything was fine. I never told girlfriends about it because I didn't think it was a big deal.

Now, The problem is that that I've learned all about H since my last relationship, and I know about the risks involved now. I have to tell the woman I'm seeing about it, but I'm not sure how. There are also some problems. I've been seeing her for about a month, and I already care very deeply for her, and she has said as much about me. The thing thats eating away at me is the fact that we've already slept together more than once. I meant to tell her before it happened, but things moved so fast! I was tempted to just hope she didn't catch it, and hope I didn't have an outbreak when I was supposed to see her, because it would be easier to let things keep going like this. But I already feel terrible for going this far before telling her, and I can't keep doing this. On top of that, if she catches it, I'll never forgive myself.

Most of our "dates" have been at my place or hers, and we usually just cuddle all night. This is the other part of the reason I haven't told her yet, because it feels like such an inappropriate topic to bring up at such an intimate time! The other option is to just call her and tell her, but that seems like a cowardly and immature route to go as well.

Basically, I need some help setting up the conversation in a way that isn't overly dramatic or intimidating. Any advice would be appreciated! :oops:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Choose a time and place where you both are calm and relaxed, and have plenty of time to talk. Don't over dramatise the situation (a mistake I have made before) and just tell her the facts calmly.

If you're freaking out when you tell her, chances are she will freak out too.

You could also print out your post here (and some other FAQs on herpes) and give it to her to read (as you sit with her) if it's too difficult for you to talk directly.

Read more of the posts on this website, and you will find some good advice on how to prepare for telling someone.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
    • JackThrowAway
      She tested positive for HSV2. No, there was nothing of that sort in that area.   However I also have ulcerative colitis so I’m on medication that makes me immunosuppressed. I have been bleeding a bit when I pass stools during the time of redness, so I’m unsure if I’m getting a flare from the colitis (from all the stress of everything) or if it’s due to the virus making it’s way to an already inflamed area and popping up as blisters that I can’t see and hence the bleeding.    I had two equivocal results (at 4 weeks and 6 weeks) that then went to a positive result (7 weeks after exposure). Combine that with some flu symptoms, redness, tingling etc. makes me feel it’s conclusive that this points to a hsv2 infection.
    • Anonimus
      Thanks!!!!! I appreciate your help.
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.