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I need to tell her... but how?? HELP!

DeepBlue81

By DeepBlue81,
in Disclosure (telling)

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DeepBlue81 Newbie

DeepBlue81

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I am currently 22 and have gotten cold sores for most of my life (ever since I was 5). When I was younger I never knew what the virus was exactly and I simply went by the rule that if I didn't kiss anyone while I had a sore, everything was fine. I never told girlfriends about it because I didn't think it was a big deal.

Now, The problem is that that I've learned all about H since my last relationship, and I know about the risks involved now. I have to tell the woman I'm seeing about it, but I'm not sure how. There are also some problems. I've been seeing her for about a month, and I already care very deeply for her, and she has said as much about me. The thing thats eating away at me is the fact that we've already slept together more than once. I meant to tell her before it happened, but things moved so fast! I was tempted to just hope she didn't catch it, and hope I didn't have an outbreak when I was supposed to see her, because it would be easier to let things keep going like this. But I already feel terrible for going this far before telling her, and I can't keep doing this. On top of that, if she catches it, I'll never forgive myself.

Most of our "dates" have been at my place or hers, and we usually just cuddle all night. This is the other part of the reason I haven't told her yet, because it feels like such an inappropriate topic to bring up at such an intimate time! The other option is to just call her and tell her, but that seems like a cowardly and immature route to go as well.

Basically, I need some help setting up the conversation in a way that isn't overly dramatic or intimidating. Any advice would be appreciated! :oops:

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Prince Honeycomb Member

Prince

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Choose a time and place where you both are calm and relaxed, and have plenty of time to talk. Don't over dramatise the situation (a mistake I have made before) and just tell her the facts calmly.

If you're freaking out when you tell her, chances are she will freak out too.

You could also print out your post here (and some other FAQs on herpes) and give it to her to read (as you sit with her) if it's too difficult for you to talk directly.

Read more of the posts on this website, and you will find some good advice on how to prepare for telling someone.

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