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We didn't even have sex and now I'm a leper!? Please help...

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Hi all,

I am new here and am hoping for some advice or comisseration. My boyfriend of three months kept stopping everytime we got hot and heavy, then last Wednesday he told me that he needed to tell me something. That something, was that he has herpes (he was diagnosed years ago and doesnt know which kind cause he doesnt get outbreaks). I was shocked, but not worried at all because we'd only ever dry humped and fooled actual sex or full nudity, and I thought you got it from sexual fluids. A few days later I felt like I had the flu and a day or two later the first blisters came. Long story short, I went to the doc and started valtrex, but it appears that I had been exposed days or weeks before he told me, so not only is it on my genitals, but I had herpetic whitlow and am almost 100% sure that its on my chin, cheeks and forehead as well.

Its clearing up now due to the valtrex and my incessant use of supplements, but I am still so so so distraught. I feel like damaged goods...and I am worried for my future, and for my future with a man thats perfect for me but is dealing with his own guilt (he thought he was protecting me by not sleeping with me)

Here are my questions:

I am african american, and I've read lit that says that we really dont really get blisters or lesions because our skin is so thick (mine is very thick and oily). I have been itching on my thighs and forearms, scalp and face but havent seen any blisters or redness. Is this my paranoia and nerves? Am I contagious just because my skin itches or tingles? Could it just be a rash or skin irritation since I have sensitive skin?

I feel like a leper and refuse to shake anyones hand or let me cheek touch when I hug. I won't touch myself ANYWHERE and wear gloves, socks, long sleeves and pants at home. Its driving me insane.....

If I cant see blisters or any evidence of an outbreak other than my genitalia, then how can I have kids knowing that my arm itched, so I may have put it there but cant see it. What if the whitlow comes back and because I have no sores I dont know it and I change their diaper? I am really freaking out....I love him, but can't help but resent him for making me damaged goods and endangering my (possibly our) future children.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Please tell me...Any advice on the relationship or the itching would be so appreciated. Please just put my mind at ease.

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