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Q&A about new guy

gunnery

By gunnery,
in Spreading and Preventing Herpes

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gunnery Newbie

gunnery

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i need some specific answers to specific risky behaviour questions. met a new guy and he told me he had genital herpes before we got past the kissing phase. so i'm like, ok, what does this mean as far as what we can do sexually. he says if we use a condom and he's not having an outbreak, we're cool. i've assumed bj's are a n-ono, but truth be told, that sucks. can i give him oral without getting it if he isn't having an oot break? also, what kind of contact CAN i have with him and not get it? hand to penis? hand to testicles? penis to my skin as long as it's not penetration? :?

someone help, please!! i can be creative but i don't know what the limits are. assuming he's not showing pre-symptoms or having an out-break, what can i do to/for him and not get infected??

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ladybug Honeycomb Member

ladybug

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Hi, first of all a condom wont protect you. herpes is spead from any contact with infected area. He can give it to you when he is not having any symptoms, thats how i got it. its called sheading. if you sleep with him you have to know that you are at risk. you can get it from hands to genitals or any touching of any parts. you can give him bj but only if you use a condom and your mouth doesnt touch the skin. otherwise you are taking a chance. I read that after you have sex or touch him down there you should take a show with soap, that can help. use a condom but know that its not 100%, if his infection isnt on his penis then it doesnt protect at all. and most important know that everyone sheads virus when there are no outbreaks or pre-outbreak. you can totally get it without penetratin also. you can do whatever you want just know you never know what days he is sheading virus, you should tell him this info so he knows. good luck

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gunnery Newbie

gunnery

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great...

so i've probably already been as about exposed as a person can get. i foresee a long dicussion in the near future. thanks for the info.

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canadagirl Newbie

canadagirl

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I HAVE A QUESTION TO ASK. I AM DATING THIS NEW GUY. I HAVE DECIDED TO TELL HIM THAT I HAVE HERPES 1 ON MY GENTIALS. LAST WEEK I HAD AN OUTBREAK AND DURING THAT TIME ONE NIGHT I GOT DRUNK AND WE FOOLED AROUND. WE DID NOT HAVE SEX WE WERE BOTH NAKED AND RUBING OURSELVES TOGETHER. I CANNOT BELIVE THAT I LET IT HAPPEN. IS THERE A RISK THAT I GAVE IT TO HIM WITHOUT HAVING SEX?? I WOULD APPERCIATE ANY COMMENTS ON THIS.

THANKS

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ladybug Honeycomb Member

ladybug

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Hi, if you were having an OB during that time then Im afraid your contagious, actually that is when you are most contagious. H is spread from contact with the infected area, just touching can spread it. If his dick didnt touch the part where you have the outbreak (the blisters) then im pretty sure he is ok, dont worry. Also if he has it orally like most people then it will be harder for him to get it down there. his body would have antibodies to protect him. Try not to stress, your not a bad person you only made a mistake, he also chose to participate without protecting himself, your not to blame. just be careful and educate yourself.

I dont know what you should do, do you know him well? does he care about you? I just found out i have it, i havent had to tell anyone, im going to have to soon and im worried. You should probably tell him, its the right thing to do. My advise is to educate yourself all about it first, so you know how to answer his questions. just search the web, its easy. next you should do a search in yahoo, BAD VIRUS GOOD VIRUS. that helped me alot, it talks about H 1 genitally, it explains that we are less contagious and that our symptoms are more mild, with less obs. this is good info to have for your boyfriend. when you tell him, dont freak out, just say it like its no big deal, that article says that H1 and H2 are the same, not a threat to your health, I woud say I have an infection HSV, It sounds worse then it is, you know h 1, coldsores, like on peoples mouth, well i have that same virus down there, except that the virus prefers living near the mouth, so it has lost its punch., It is also less infectous then a cold sore on a mouth, which is true according to that article. say a quarter of the population has it genitally and 50-80% have it orally. its really common, and there are ways for us to protect you from getting it. Something like that. ok im talking to much... let me know how it goes....

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      Unsure if Herpes, awaiting swabs, need help

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    • Lcj987
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      By Lcj987 · Posted

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