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I'm a 25 year old guy who's recently been diagnosed with genital herpes and I am devastated. I had my first ob last week after sleeping with my ex...she had her first one then too. We had recently broke up and she slept with someone else without protection two days before she was with me. I guess I'm upset about that to begin with and would like to believe that that's how I got it. But after doing a lot of research and knowing how many people I've been with there's really no way of knowing how it happened.

I guess I'm upset about a lot of things right now. Being a young male I have been accustomed to a certain amount of sexual freedom and have enjoyed the way I've interacted with women over the last few years. I feel like I'm being robbed of a certain lifestyle that I should be able to enjoy at this age. I know that it won't affect the most serious of relationships, but never the less I am sad that I cannot engage in any sexual activity without letting a partner know.

I'm also terrified about the frequency of obs I'll have. I don't want to be on antivirals for the rest of my life and I don't want to be in a relationship where I love someone but I can't do anything with them because I'm having an ob every month.

This news has been a big emotional hit and I don't know what to do with it. Any words of encouragement are appreciated.



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HI, im 23 and i just found out also, You are totally right about everything, and i know it sucks that you will loss your sexual freedom but Maybe you can try to look at the other side, maybe H will force you to look at the character of the women you are with from now on, although it may be great to sleep with many women whenever you feel like it(but if you continue doing that you might end up with really bad STD), maybe you will meet some amazing women and you will love sleeping with her and only her even more. now that you have this you will most likely end up with a great girl that is understanding and there for you. Also now that im ok with having H, I feel lucky to of had this experience, because from now on i will be much more carefull, demand that my partner get tested. if i would of just continued having unprotected sex with boyfriends maybe i would of ended up with HIV or something really bad. Also about the frequency of your OBs, you should start learning about living a healthier lifestyle, diet, being active, this will decrease OBs alot and it will be good for you overall and youll feel better, also over time your OB will just decrease naturally, the first year you have it is the worst, then less and less.

I promise you will feel better emotionally in time and you will come to terms with all of this, be strong

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Thank you very much for your support. It's nice to know how other people in similar situations feel. I believe that everything you said is true. It's just tough to swallow at first and will take a little time to come to terms with.


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  • 2 weeks later...

mssg from tks...try this!

I was in your situation 10 years ago... there's no need for you to suffer if you look up my posts. If it works for you too, half of your battle will be over.

user: tks


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    • EssenceL25
      I’m going to force him to get tested ! Thanks for your help ! 
    • WilsoInAus
      @EssenceL25 there really isn't a question mark around the source, it's your latest partner. The median time from infection to an outbreak of lesions upon initial infection is 4 days.  The only thing that isn't certain is the type I suggest.
    • EssenceL25
      I asked if it was hsv 1 or 2 and the doctor said it was Hsv2. I’m not sure i just asked him when he was tested last he said this year I said I think we should go test together and he agreed . I’m going to bring it up again cause I really need to know if he gave this to me I wasn’t sure since it was so close to my previous relationship.
    • WilsoInAus
      @EssenceL25 then it is all beyond reasonable doubt that the current partner is the source. A 'perfect' fit in terms of timing, symptoms and swab. It may be though that the type is not technically known. Culture swabs are very often not typed and just assumed to be HSV-2 if taken from a genital location. If you received oral sex in the days leading into 7 March then it is 50/50 as to whether this is HSV-1 or HSV-2. You could contact your doctor and confirm if the swab was actually typed (which is a second test where fluorescent antibodies for HSV-1 and HSV-2 are added and see which one 'glows').  If that test wasn't done then you do not know type. If you have oral HSV-1 yourself (cold sores) then this will be HSV-2. Does your partner have oral HSV-1? It is somewhat strange for him not to rush and test - many people have a 'reaction' if they truly do not know their status and have concerns that you infected them etc. (not initially rational of course). This indicates he may know his status - or maybe he just isn't simply the sharpest tool in the shed!?
    • EssenceL25
      I had flu like symptoms and ulcers on my vagina . They did a culture and I tested positive for hsv2. I asked my partner to get tested he agreed but I’m not sure if he will cause he hasn’t said anything else about it. 
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