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feeling stuck and confused!!!


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Hey i am almost 21 and i contracted hsv1 genitally when i was 18. I am pretty sure that i contracted the virus from this guy who i thought i could really trust because he was one of my very best friends, but one night we both got a little drunk and well to make a long story short, i said no and he didn't listen. about a yr later, after not having sex with anyone else, besides my very serious boyfried, i found out i had the virus. i also found out that the guy that raped me had had the virus for six yrs. Luckily my boyfriend stood beside me and i love him very much. but the thing is, i am so terrified of what will happen if we don't work out. I mean i love my boyfriend very much, but we are both so young, and i am in college and the thought of getting married scares me. sometimes i am afraid that we are only together because i am too scared to be with anyone else, because i don't think anyone could accept me for what i have. I just feel so trapped sometimes. not too long ago i became very close to one of my very good guy friends, and there were some very strong feelings there. He would always tell me how much he wished i didn't have a boyfriend, and i really started to like him too, but i was way too scared to move on to anything else with having the virus. I just don't want anyone's perception of me to change, and i am so afraid that if i walk away from the relationship i am in, i will never again find someone that will love me unconditionally!!!!!!!! But i know it is not right to stay in a relationship because of fear, but i cant help it. it is not that i am only with my boyfreind because of the virus, i love him very much, but i can't help but wonder if i would have walked away if this never happend. I mean i , have a hard enough time accepting the virus, i just can't understand why someone else would??? Eventhough my boyfriend stayed with me even after he found out i have the virus, i can't help but wonder if it was because of the small chance that he thought he could have been the one who gave it to me,and we had already been dating for four months. But would someone accept this at the beginning of a relationship? i guess what i want to know is, can ppl really accept herpes? And is there anyway of finding out if a person will accept someone with the virus nwithout coming right out and saying "i have herpes"? Is there anyway of being able to tell that a person likes u enough to accept everything about who u are?

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  • 1 month later...

hey carebear,

its natural when your young to feel like you don't want to settle down with one person. i had these doupts when i was with my boyfriend at 17 and didn't have herpes. then i was single, got herpes and i'll never know how i got it. i'm back with my boyfriend but i know i'm with him because i don't want to be with anyone else and love him and not because i have herpes. don't let herpes make your decisions for you. you have say to yourself, if i didn't have herpes would i still be with this person? then if you do feel that you're heading for a break up and you're worried about telling new partners i would say that if that new partner understands herpes, the risks but really likes you then herpes will not make them turn you down. but if they're not sure that they like you enough to risk it, they may make any excuse. you can find a boyfriend with herpes i promise.

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    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
    • JackThrowAway
      She tested positive for HSV2. No, there was nothing of that sort in that area.   However I also have ulcerative colitis so I’m on medication that makes me immunosuppressed. I have been bleeding a bit when I pass stools during the time of redness, so I’m unsure if I’m getting a flare from the colitis (from all the stress of everything) or if it’s due to the virus making it’s way to an already inflamed area and popping up as blisters that I can’t see and hence the bleeding.    I had two equivocal results (at 4 weeks and 6 weeks) that then went to a positive result (7 weeks after exposure). Combine that with some flu symptoms, redness, tingling etc. makes me feel it’s conclusive that this points to a hsv2 infection.
    • Anonimus
      Thanks!!!!! I appreciate your help.
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