Please Help. How do we adjust if we both have herpes.

[Guest Justin8]

Thanks for reading this.

Can anyone give me specific answers to some or all of these questions? Few people have written anything that directly answers these questions.

My girlfriend and I have recently been diagnosed with HSV2 and Im getting more secure that we can still have a normal relationship with a few adjustments but I want to know what can we do and what can we not do.

Outside of an outbreak where I understand nothing should happen, can we still have unprotected oral sex without the risk of getting mouth sores. ?

It is true that if we ever have unprotected sex it could give her an outbreak?

What Im getting at is just how much do we need to adjust from our normal freeing and deepening lovemaking.

Please respond with whatever experience you can offer. Its clear there are many wonderful people on this site that have great hearts and courage not to mention experience that helps so many people and through reading has helped me feel a lot better about the rest of my life.

J

[carla]

This is a response that I received concerning my worries about the same question. Although there are different opinions, I believe this one to be valid. Hope it helps.

Thank you for contacting the Herpesnet Email Response Service; we are glad to be of service to you. We are a program of the American Social Health Association, a non-profit organization, and are dedicated to educating people about oral and genital herpes.

With regard to your concerns about transmission, we will first discuss oral sex. Performing oral sex on a partner would have no bearing on one's genital diagnosis. When an individual has genital herpes, the virus lies dormant in the bundle of nerves at the base of the spine. When the virus reactivates, it travels nerve paths to the surface of the skin, sometimes causing an outbreak. The nerves in the genitals, upper thighs and buttocks are connected; therefore, a person can only experience outbreaks in any of these areas. Even if a person were having symptoms genitally, she or he could perform oral sex on a partner or kiss someone.

In regard to receiving oral sex from your partner, it would not be possible for the partner to contract genital herpes. It would only be possible to contract oral herpes in this situation. However, even this would be unlikely, as most cases of genital herpes are caused by HSV-2, which rarely affects the mouth or face. Also, and even more importantly, most adults already have oral herpes so it is often a moot point. It is estimated 50% to 80% of the adult population in the U.S. already has oral herpes, with as many as 90% of adults having the virus by age 50. Most people contract oral herpes when they are small children by receiving a kiss from a friend or relative who has oral herpes. While some individuals develop symptoms soon after contracting the virus, others may take years. Although it is possible to contract oral herpes by performing oral sex on someone who has genital herpes, it is unlikely, and it is important to keep in mind that an individual risks contracting oral herpes each time he or she kisses another person on the lips.