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Herpes in Sobriety


Limeinthecoconut

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Limeinthecoconut

Hey Folks - i figured this would probably be the most appropriate place to put this. Because any 12 step program is a Spiritual Program. I am curious if anyone has any experience, strength and hope to offer maybe with contracting HSV in sobriety? I have contacted my Sponsor and well I have to re-work some steps 1,2, and 3 to be exact because I am angry and resentful and I do NOT want to drink about this!! I have almost 18 months and throwing it away is not an option but "anger is a dubious luxury of normal men." Anyway - the last thing I need to do is be angry with my Higher Power but old behavior is hard to deal with - I feel like my character defects and my disease are looking me in the face ready for me to take that first drink. I got this from a person in the program who is a great person, working on himself and striving to believe in God and a better life...anyway its hard to not lash out - I don't know if anyone knows where I am coming from....just throwin it out there..progress not perfection...much luv....Limeinthecoconut

p.s. i apologize for any shitty spelling...i need a spell checker....lol.

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Hey, i don't know much about the 12 steps programs, but i wanted to commend you for your strength. I know it takes an INCREDIBLE amount of strength to break an addiction, and even more strength to see your stressors and take action to avoid them.

I hope you find the answers you're looking for either here or in your own support groups.

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Hi there,

I'm curious if this person disclosed their condition to you before you were intimate?

It seems that would make a difference in the feelings you are dealing with, such as betrayal, etc.

It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders! Keep on keepin' on ;)

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Limeinthecoconut

He didn't know....We waited a month to get intimate..so that we could do what's right and try to get to know each other first. I mean I had a part in this too. When you first get sober it is suggested to stay out of a relationship for a year. Its complicated to explain...I had been checked for everything including HSV I asked specifically for this in October of 2008 (my HSV Blood test came back -) because of my reckless behavior before and just after I got sober....and well he got tested the day after we did "it".....I brokeout 5 days later and his blood came back positive. When I went to the doctor...she suggested just doing a culture on the blister because My blood exam had come back negative back in October. Anyway He says he didn't have sex with anyone for a year. About a week after I went to the Doctor His test results came back Positive for HSV2...My Doctor seems to think the timelines are right and I did get it from him. (But I could have had it before - who really even knows, right?) Anyway He feels terrible about this and he says he knows where His came from. (Hence - the trust issues I am having) Sounds crazy and compicated but I guess the deal is that it has happened and now we both have to learn how to deal with this. I have no control over the way he chooses to heal, emotionally, physically and spiritually all I can do is what I can do for me and my healing. Anyway - this place has been scary and helpful and all kinds of stuff. I will come out the other end I know it... It can't be as difficult as getting sober can. Although a cold beer on a hot day sometimes sounds great...lol. Anyway - Thank you for the support Peeps....xo Limey.

P.S. I am taking a time out to heal myself...as the only way we can love others is if we love ourselves FIRST!!!

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Awesome, I'm glad you two are open and honest with each other, that helps a lot! I'm familiar with the program, some of my close friends are clean and sober. It's a wonderful program!

Take care!

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Limeinthecoconut

Rad - thank you so much for this suggested read GntiNh!!! Thank you!!

There is alot related to the 12 Steps...I loved this..I think I am going to read it!!! Supa Cool!!! Even tho there are references to Jesus here - there is direction for great spiritual growth and just knowing this Man's particular journey is particularly awesome!! Thanks again!!

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Friend of Bill W!

Hi there! I am a member of AA and found out about my HSV status at 4yrs sober (I'd slept with two guys post sobriety date and don't believe either have it - so I believe I had the virus for a long time before the thing "showed up in my life")

Although I'm very sorry to hear you have herpes, I am glad to meet you here because the program is such a blessing and a huge part of my life and having herpes has certainly been a pretty big impact on my life... so TTYS!

Much love,

meme:D

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