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WarriorKing

Sex is not Love

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littleone987

Big Smile

I've thought about this same train of thought more recently now! Although I'm currently in a relationship (he has H too), I always want to keep my inner-strength going... pump my emotional muscles so to speak!! Anyway, I was seriously thinking about this very same thing over the past week... I completely agree. I think the number one thing most people (like I did at first) think is that there is no more happiness left to have in their life if they are not in a romantic relationship... Well, of course we all want that, but it is only a small part in an entire lifetime of memories to have and make!! I'm not saying that we need to be single for the rest of our lives, I'm just saying that concentrating on "not having a relationship" will only make us miss out on everything else we have to control, respect, love and feel thankful for! Your last sentence, that quote, gave me a big smile!

Perfect.

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Luisa

Just read this now!

Mr. H, I think this is awesome. Posts like this are very inspiring. It uplifts the spirit, and makes a person dealing with H happy. It's a constant reminder of how little nuisance this virus could be and that it shouldn't get in the way of reaching our dreams. It might be difficult for most at the beginning but hearing from people who've been dealing with H for so long and are just doing fine really gives me hope. Thank you.

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KrystynaG

I completely agree!!...There are times when im having a really bad day emotionally and my little one will just come right up to me and give me a tight hug for absolutely no reason at all. She doesnt know but that just reminds me that no matter what i'll always have someone who loves me for me. And on the bad days i find ways to just enjoy her.

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elmerette

I cant believe you posted this a year ago, and I'm just now stumbling onto it. Well said Mr. I totally agree, very eloquent and thought out post.

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package deal

wow. How right you are. You are a rarity I think. And yes you wont be alone for long and ye wemon search for men like you but you are a rarity. Such sensitivity and wiseness in a man.

I think your post is a insperation to anbyone who reads it.

linda

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lemonade

What a wonderful, heartfelt post - thank you for taking the time to jot down your thoughts!

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benny

Thanks for the post. I just found out yesterday and I am trying to see beyond my diagnosis. You are a very special person.

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coolsensation

I'm back!

I'm taking a break from online dating for a while and spending more time with family and friends...people who love me for who I am. It's very cleansing. Also, I'm looking forward to a European trip early next year. Life goes on and I'm going with it!:wavey:

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GulliverJ

Love, giving, receiving, embracing, appreciating is definitely at the top of the list of life's greatest things but so is sex.

Sex is important and enjoyable, not like the need to eat, sleep and drink but close. Its built into our genetic code for survival. How could something that feels so good and be so enjoyable not be important? I'm sure with age it diminishes as also it increases at times of our lives as well.

Have them both if you can is all I'm sayin :p

Great thread!

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coolsensation

I wholeheartedly agree...sex is important. All I'm saying is, when rejected because of a diagnosis, it's best to not spend too much time feeling like "damaged goods." There are so many other ways to give and receive love.:flowers:

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thiswillnotdfineme
Thanks for writing this post mrhonest. It helped me to see that I need to stop being so damn obsessive about herpes. My obsession (stigma, symptoms, etc) with it impairs my ability to receive and to give love. How can I love or be loved when my mind is elsewhere? It's just an awful way to be. I want to live my life to the fullest and have this thing just be a small nuisance like it is for you.

Completely agree!!!!

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RacerGirl

I'm glad I just found this post. I was diagnosed only two months ago; contracted H from someone whom I did not love (though we were on our way to becoming an "item"). Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for giving some insight, especially to us newly-diagnosed, who are still on the emotional roller coaster trying to figure out what all this means to us and our respective futures.

:flowers:

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jimeshten

According to me !!! It sentence is true !! I think you have really put this whole little issue in perspective and I really needed to read this today (been having a bad past couple of days emotionally dealing with this). I think any woman would be quite lucky to be with me. I want to live my life to the fullest and have this thing just be a small nuisance like it is for me.

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coolsensation

Hi Jimeshten:

Sorry to hear you've had a bad few days. It will get better. Wouldn't it be great if some famous person with herpes would step up to the plate and educate the public. It's definitely not the scary, dreaded disease that some people think it is. Sometimes it's difficult to convince people of that.

You just continue to hold your head up high and know you are not alone.:flowers:

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thiswillnotdfineme
Hi Jimeshten:

Wouldn't it be great if some famous person with herpes would step up to the plate and educate the public. It's definitely not the scary, dreaded disease that some people think it is. Sometimes it's difficult to convince people of that.

You just continue to hold your head up high and know you are not alone.:flowers:

Two valid points here!

1. I'm not famous or anything but I was just telling my best friend last night how one day I am going to be an advocate for herpes awareness. Somebody needs to get some information out there and start encouraging people to get tested. And it needs to happen soon!

2. You are definitely NOT alone jimeshten! 1 in 4 people carry the virus. That's 25%!!!

I think any woman would be quite lucky to be with me. I want to live my life to the fullest and have this thing just be a small nuisance like it is for me.

What a great way of thinking! Keep your confidence and your head held high! You probably have a lot to offer any woman and one day some lucky girl will realize it and look past this little "nuisance" like you have! :)

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MunkyLuvr
According to me !!! It sentence is true !! I think you have really put this whole little issue in perspective and I really needed to read this today (been having a bad past couple of days emotionally dealing with this). I think any woman would be quite lucky to be with me. I want to live my life to the fullest and have this thing just be a small nuisance like it is for me.

A real woman will love a man based on merit and character. Based on how he treats her, makes her feel.... I chose my honey for that.. i didnt shut him out when he revealed his "scary H secret"... yeah, of course i wish he didnt have it, but it wasnt for me... it was for him. I was so sad he spent so long feeling no one could really love HIM because of some stupid non-deadly disease.... I look at H as a flu bug.. or MRSA/vre (i a nurse, so I understand the virus role thing).... am I hurt that somehow he passed it to me? yeah. but I knew the risks of being with him.... and I look at it as a smalll price to pay for something n someone soooo wonderful....

I hope all of us remember who we were BEFORE we got diagnosed... because honestly... thats still you... maybe better. H made me truly realize who my friends and trusted people in my life were. Made me see who truly judged and who truly loved..... Roses have thorns, but it doesnt make them any less beautiful or less fragrant... it just means you have to treat them delicately.... =)

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rise

THANX, that post really cheers the heart!!! Im better with my acceptance of this "h critter". Most days Im fine but I seem to break out each week. And I feel you about your dad I lost my mom last year about this time and I would trade all the sex of the last year to have been at her bedside when we lost her. So I try even with all my frailties to give love to any aand everyone. thats the most important thing. thank you again for stating what as time goes on we will all realize. Many times we just need to hear(see) it from someone else. Much love to you hope you find a new love, if your havent already!!!!

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a vida e bela

Very well said! Thank you!

This is the message I tried to convey to my boyfriend when he was struggling with the guilt over having given it to his ex. He said he is incapable of feeling love anymore. So sad. I stayed with him though because I have SO much of it to give and I knew that if I just held tough that he'd feel it again. Now I have everything I yearned for. Love conquers all.

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RealisticGal
I stayed with him though because I have SO much of it to give and I knew that if I just held tough that he'd feel it again. Now I have everything I yearned for. Love conquers all.

That's so great to hear. I needed a positive story like that today. Relationships are so complicated. I have my doubts about being able to stick it out at times.

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Always Persevere

Thank you so much... I am in limbo with just breaking the news to someone I really care about. He has to decide if he is willing to take the risk, needless to say, I am feeling depressed and vulnerable and was searching the internet for some encouragement. Your post made me cry. Good tears. I felt so understood. I feel like I will be ok no matter what he decides. Thank you so much.

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camomile

So many stories on this site are from people who got this virus from people that did not love them. Participating in sex so often and with relative strangers is a big reason this mean little H critter and his dangerous cousins have been able to spread so rapidly and widely.

I actually notice this as I read on this site. At the same time, I can somewhat understand the possible situations where you meet someone you really felt attracted to. Having said that, sex is nowadays regarded as a commodity, a form of recreation, "fun" and so on; people who look at sex that way (rather than looking at that in a monogamous context), may or can have uneducated belief in terms of sexual health and something like H would be passed on exponentially.

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Freedom_Realized

@WarriorKing - one of your posts was the first few that I read when I found this place shortly after being diagnosed.  Thank you for sharing your inspirational thoughts to help those of us who are seeking some support.  

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