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New-Rec'd diagnosis on July 13, 2009

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Hello everyone,

I've been reading on this message board for almost two weeks but couldn't get the nerve up to join until tonight. (not sure where to post this)

Here's my story:

I'm 42 years old and was living a fairly happy single life up until Nov. 2007 when a man I work with asked me out repeatedly. I hesitated at first since we worked together but decided to see if it went anywhere. We dated for awhile but when things started getting serious, I asked him if he would mind taking an std test before anything got too serious, he agreed. I had all the testing done myself, including the herpes test. All my tests came back neg and he told me his did as well. I never looked at his paperwork, just took his word for it. Things did not work out and we broke up nine months later in Aug. 2008.

Well, here it is July 2009, eleven months since we broke up and he comes up to me one day at work and tells me he has to tell me something. I was in such a happy mood that day, my first grandbaby had just been born and I was returning to work to show everyone her pictures. What he told me completely drained the happiness right out of me. He told me that he was sorry but he thinks he may have exposed me to herpes. He said his doctor had confirmed earlier that day that he DID have herpes. I wanted to cry! I wanted to yell at him! I wanted to just run and hide!

The very next day, I called my doctor, explained the whole situation to them and they fit me in that day to have a blood test done. I really didn't my test would come back positive because I never had any major signs that I would have it. Once I did have one little bump down below but I thought it was from shaving or a small pimple, never did I think it was herpes. A week later, which seemed like an eternity, my doctor called and confirmed that I DID have Herpes-Type 1 and Type 2. They have put me on suppressive therapy of Acyclovir 400mg twice a day, I guess forever. I have cried and worried so much in the past two weeks.

The day this man told me that he might have exposed me he said he might have got it from a long time ago or the woman he was with after me but he's not for sure. If he thought that, he should have told me BEFORE not almost a year and a half later. All he could say was he was sorry and that I probably hate him now. I have not had the nerve to tell him that he DID infect me.

I feel like part of my life is over now and dont know what to do. Sorry if this was too long but I haven't been able to talk to anyone. I have told my son and daughter but I can't bring myself to tell my parents, sisters or best friend or anyone else. I feel dirty and I'm not sure how they would take it. My kids have been very supportive.


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I TRULY can relate to your situation. I am almost 40, was married for 18 years. Got divorced, then back into the dating scene again. Never thought I would see myself at this age having THIS to deal with. My kids both know. One is more supportive than the other. Very few friends know, and even those I thought were close friends, somewhat shunned me. It is very hard to deal with. Thank goodness for this forum!!!

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Butterfly of the Moment

Hello there,

I'm sorry that you are feeling like there's no tomorrow...it is hard when you learn of your diagnosis....ignorance is bliss? Maybe not. Tell me how much your life has actually changed before and after you got the news. It sounds to me that you have very mild OB or you don't have symptoms which don't interfere with your daily activities. I'm going to be honest I wish I didn't have symptoms. I know how having herpes makes you feel...less of a person, undesirable, low. Sounds to me that your kids don't think any less of you....you are a great mother with or without herpes...and you'll be a great grandma too. The only dynamics in your life that may change is your romantic relationships and only if there's sex involved. I know you may face rejection, but as long as you someday come to accept your ailment and move forward, the trials of life will hurt you less. I'm only 23 and I just got diagnosed 2 months ago...I still have crying bouts of depression but those are becoming less frequent...I have a boyfriend that doesn't have genital herpes and we practice safe sex...there are herpes support groups in every state as far as I know and where you are from is bound to have one. If you don't want to go alone you can reach out to the man that may have given you herpes and make him go along with you...it's the least he could do if he did in fact give you herpes...Keep Taking Care of Yourself.

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • Carguy
      I wish you luck my friend! It’d be nice to find something! The only two things I’ve ever tested positive for during this whole mess was a fungal infection in the groin creases, found by biopsy, and the nerve biopsy found nerve damage. I just hate thinking I’m unluncky enough to have HSV1 which is suppose to be the most tame where supposedly people have few if any problems with it, and mine have been endless! Do you have extremely sweaty scrotum and inner thighs when you wake up and periodically throughout the day? That’s been driving me nuts!
    • Thomas29
      This was about 10 mins ago I tried squeezing it to see if anything came out of it, it also didn’t hurt sorry for the pics I am also on my period so it isn’t going to be nice, I’m sorry for this !:(
    • Thomas29
      Pic of half hour ago 
    • Thomas29
      Sorry to bombard your post hun but I’ve got a cut too on my vagina (labia) I shaved the night previous and the next day I had an itch so I itched with but I didn’t put my hand down their I used my knickers and all of a sudden I felt an irratation so I went to go have a look and I found this, it doesn’t hurt when touched and doesn’t hurt when I pee I can sit around and stuff, is this the same thing as yours? I’m going insane right now I’ve got health anxiety I want to cry thinking I have herpes 1st pic is what it was like when I looked first  2nd pic is when I got out the shower  3rd pic is now  and 4th pic is when I tried squeezing it to see if anything came out of it ( it never hurt either)  After shower pic 
    • Peonyrose
      That is exactly what mine look like (on one side of labia anyway) and the rest are kind of dark red flat pimple bumps 

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