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2nd chance after 25 years...

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Here's my situation...I used to date a guy 25 years ago when we were both early in college - really cared about him but we were too young for much at that time and I broke up with him (stupid of me). Later got H from someone else. Met my future husband, had the talk, it didn't matter to him. He & I've been divorced for 3 years now (nothing to do with H) and the guy I dated 25 years ago found me on a social network site 6 weeks ago and we've been talking on the phone for hours every weekend about everything except this, obviously. He lives in another state. Anyway, I'm going to see him next month and I'm 99.9% sure we're going to be great together again. He knows I need a no pressure situation, so he's already said he'll take the couch and I get the bed, but omg, am I screwing up by waiting to tell until I see him face to face? He really is a caring guy and I don't want to hurt him again.

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I think it does not help

to try and figure out what timetable the other person might expect of us. We cannot know, from the other person's point of view, what would be a good time to tell. We can only know from our own point of view.

My own take on it is that we should have the talk when it starts to bother us. When we start wondering when we should tell and how we should tell and how they might take it...that is the time to tell, before it becomes stressful and drags on, thus becoming even more awkward.

Since you have both agreed that sex will not be rushed and will not be happening during this visit, I do not see that you have to tell him--unless it turns sexual. You do not owe him disclosure at any particular time except that you do need to tell before sex happens. However, since it is starting to bother you and worry you, on that basis, you might decide to tell him before he visits. Just to relieve the stress and worry for you. Stress and worry never help any budding relationship.

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • Carguy
      I wish you luck my friend! It’d be nice to find something! The only two things I’ve ever tested positive for during this whole mess was a fungal infection in the groin creases, found by biopsy, and the nerve biopsy found nerve damage. I just hate thinking I’m unluncky enough to have HSV1 which is suppose to be the most tame where supposedly people have few if any problems with it, and mine have been endless! Do you have extremely sweaty scrotum and inner thighs when you wake up and periodically throughout the day? That’s been driving me nuts!
    • Thomas29
      This was about 10 mins ago I tried squeezing it to see if anything came out of it, it also didn’t hurt sorry for the pics I am also on my period so it isn’t going to be nice, I’m sorry for this !:(
    • Thomas29
      Pic of half hour ago 
    • Thomas29
      Sorry to bombard your post hun but I’ve got a cut too on my vagina (labia) I shaved the night previous and the next day I had an itch so I itched with but I didn’t put my hand down their I used my knickers and all of a sudden I felt an irratation so I went to go have a look and I found this, it doesn’t hurt when touched and doesn’t hurt when I pee I can sit around and stuff, is this the same thing as yours? I’m going insane right now I’ve got health anxiety I want to cry thinking I have herpes 1st pic is what it was like when I looked first  2nd pic is when I got out the shower  3rd pic is now  and 4th pic is when I tried squeezing it to see if anything came out of it ( it never hurt either)  After shower pic 
    • Peonyrose
      That is exactly what mine look like (on one side of labia anyway) and the rest are kind of dark red flat pimple bumps 

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