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Handed my Death Sentence


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Handed my Death Sentence

Just a year ago to the day I was raped by my ex boyfriend who was incredibly violent and wouldn't accept that I wanted to end our relationship. He knew me well enough to see on my face that I was ovulating and told me he was going to give me a gift and give me another chance to have his baby. He didn't care that i was crying, didn't care about anything other than putting a grip on me for a lifetime. I don't believe in abortion, but he in fact did get me pregnant. The morning after pill didn't work. I couldn't allow his abuse in my life and around my other two children. I opted for the abortion. I've struggled with that immensely. I went to be tested to make sure all went well with the procedure and asked for a full blood screen for STD tests. 3 months ago, they sent back the results that everything was negative. Whew! I could finally rest and put it behind me. Then I found out yesterday one of the tests was overlooked and took its time reaching the doctors office, and I was told that I am in fact positive for herpes. Doc said herpes B. Don't know what that means. Google doesn't have anything for that, so it must be some other name. I was in a haze. I just started a relationship with someone I am very much in love with and I just told him. We haven't had sex yet, and he keeps telling me he loves me, he's in love with me, but...... I'm just waiting for it to sink in and for him to tell me to kick rocks. We've planned a future together. I've known him my entire life. I'm scared he's gonna bounce on me. I don't know how to approach a new partner, if I ever have one again, who would want to touch me now? I've been careful my entire life, and now I've been handed a death sentence. I am so broken and sickened, as if i haven't been through enough. When we broke up a year before I was tested and all was well. He's the only option. My anger and my frustration are sky rocketing my blood pressure and I'm numb at the same time. Please. Tell me what to do? How high are the risks of passing this to my love, if he doesn't run? Or a potential partner in the future if he does run? I had one "poosible" outbreak, and the doctor said between outbreaks, if that was one, chances are low that I could pass it on to him. God, why is this happening to me?

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