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Handed my Death Sentence

Lost...Confused...Scared...

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Handed my Death Sentence

Just a year ago to the day I was raped by my ex boyfriend who was incredibly violent and wouldn't accept that I wanted to end our relationship. He knew me well enough to see on my face that I was ovulating and told me he was going to give me a gift and give me another chance to have his baby. He didn't care that i was crying, didn't care about anything other than putting a grip on me for a lifetime. I don't believe in abortion, but he in fact did get me pregnant. The morning after pill didn't work. I couldn't allow his abuse in my life and around my other two children. I opted for the abortion. I've struggled with that immensely. I went to be tested to make sure all went well with the procedure and asked for a full blood screen for STD tests. 3 months ago, they sent back the results that everything was negative. Whew! I could finally rest and put it behind me. Then I found out yesterday one of the tests was overlooked and took its time reaching the doctors office, and I was told that I am in fact positive for herpes. Doc said herpes B. Don't know what that means. Google doesn't have anything for that, so it must be some other name. I was in a haze. I just started a relationship with someone I am very much in love with and I just told him. We haven't had sex yet, and he keeps telling me he loves me, he's in love with me, but...... I'm just waiting for it to sink in and for him to tell me to kick rocks. We've planned a future together. I've known him my entire life. I'm scared he's gonna bounce on me. I don't know how to approach a new partner, if I ever have one again, who would want to touch me now? I've been careful my entire life, and now I've been handed a death sentence. I am so broken and sickened, as if i haven't been through enough. When we broke up a year before I was tested and all was well. He's the only option. My anger and my frustration are sky rocketing my blood pressure and I'm numb at the same time. Please. Tell me what to do? How high are the risks of passing this to my love, if he doesn't run? Or a potential partner in the future if he does run? I had one "poosible" outbreak, and the doctor said between outbreaks, if that was one, chances are low that I could pass it on to him. God, why is this happening to me?

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  • Posts

    • LovedAnyway
      How do you get in touch with a Moderator for this site? I am being bullied, unbelievably, on a support site.  I can't just let it go because it is happening to other people too.  
    • LovedAnyway
      For the last time, my name is not Jay.  My name is Amy.  I am not telling you my last name.  I am a woman, not a man.  I've reported all of your rude comments to me and asked an Admin to prove to you that I am not Jay.  You are really pissing me off.  I'm pretty sure Spinky is in the same group on FB for meningitis and he can vouch for me.  Now get a life and leave me alone!!!!
    • Cas9
      Ronald, could you please stop with the capital letters; it's annoying to read.
    • Vjay
      Hello I have similar symptoms as you. Most prominent is burning after urination. It is more while sitting.  It is not possible because of herps as it is a virus which causes symptoms in a cycle and never continuously as reported in your case and also the frequency decreases over time.   Kindly post here for further discussion as i am still trying to figure out what it can be.
    • 27Vet
      Coffee has argnine properties.  I get outbreaks from drinking caffeine or decaf.  I have since stayed away as I recognize my triggers.
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