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Hi There,

Well I have been viewing these pages for a couple of weeks now and decided its time to join as reading has given me support.

I currenty live abroad in a non english speaking country, I have been diagnosed with Type2, as the doctor only speaks enough English to confirm the virus Ii have been unable to gain any support from anywhere.

I have so many unanswered questions and I wondered if this is the right place to get some answers.

I am currently single, I have not long ago split up with my husband not because of this he was great about it because of other things, but now im wondering if I should have stuck with him instead of trying to explain my situation to potential new partners.

Since being diagnosed I have only had 1 outbreak.

I am confused about meeting new people, is it ok to have sex with someone with a condom and not tell them about the herpes, I dont think I could ever let anyone know about this but dont want to be spreading the virus around.

Also is there any medication you can take to stop the virus, sorry if I souund a bit dumb but living abroad I can find no where to answer these questions for me.

Thanks for listening

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Fashionista

I am sorry to see you're feeling so alone in another country.

Thankfully you found this forum, which did help me in a time when I couldn't tell any of my family.

In my own opinion, I think honesty is the best policy when it comes to telling a partner. If the person ever found out after the fact, they might feel pretty upset that you didn't tell them sooner.

However, I am dealing with those same feelings, where I DREAD telling future partners. The last guy I was with just broke up with me and now I'm alone, wondering if it's even worth it to meet new guys.

There is no cure for herpes, as you probably know, but certain antivirals can be taken as suppressive therapy, which, for some people, can help reduce the number of outbreaks. Valtrex is one.

Anyhow, hopefully you get to feeling better and more positive. I know I am. :rolleyes:

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Hi,

Thanks for your reply, some days I am fine about it until days like today where I am worrying so much I think I am going to have an outbreak, I have not been dealt the best hand when It comes to sexual health but I suppose I can only blame myself for that, If I am honest this gets me down so much that I feel like ending it all, I am never going to be normal again, I feel disgusted when I look in the mirror some days :(

How did you make yourself feel ok about it all and have you had any sexual partners since finding out ?

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Butterfly of the Moment

Hello darling,

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling sad but the truth is I feel the same ways sometimes. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think "I have herpes, damn it" My situation is I had a boyfriend for 2 years and we broke up (went on a break and could date other people) and I went on vacation. I ended up having sex with someone that was a friend of the family and I barely knew him but I figured he was trustworthy....long story short I contracted the genital herpes and when I got home I got back together with my ex. 2 weeks after having sex with the other guy I started having symptoms....SO I told my boyfriend that I had herpes and someone else gave it to me and he went crazy and didn't talk to me for like 6 hours but after that he decided he still wanted to be with me......it was a hard thing to tell him b/c he couldn't fathom being with anyone else and for me to do that hurt him a lot. Even though I have a boyfriend who doesn't have it, I still feel disgusting. I haven't come a long way but I've found this website to be very helpful. I find doing things that I like to do helps me forget and sometimes I'm happy. We all have our good days and bad days...in time you will accept you have it. I dread having to tell other people about this if my boyfriend and I break up again, but I know from personal experience if you get to know a guy and he really cares about you (not just likes you) then he will at least try to make it work with you. Good Luck!

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nice view

Thank you for your sweet replies and taking the time to think about others, I hear your story and hope to that it will get easier for you too, some people on here seem to be quite comfortable with having herpes and if I think of it logicaly then its jus cold sores but on you private parts, there is definatly a stigma attached, to make myself feel better I think atleast I dont have something that is eating away at me or something that will cause serious complications.

Like you say were all going to have up and down days. :roll:

I know that worrying so much I have caused an OB, I wondered if you can give me any advice on how to stop the itching of a night, looking at some pictures I would describe my case as mild and its not in area that affects me going to the toilet.

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Butterfly of the Moment

Hello, My OB are not bad either. I looked on the panel on the right under "home remedies" and they say cornstarch, domeboro powder, or baking soda can help dry out and reduce itchiness when you're having an outbreak, the "home remedies" section even has directions on how to apply it. You're right about the stigma though, I don't understand something that doesn't prevent me from doing anything I want to do can make me feel this way...it's other people...that's it. The only thing it may affect is your sex life which I suppose there are more important things like true love and companionship which herpes will not affect at all because TRUE love doesn't discriminate. Don't be afraid to get out there again, just put the sex off as long as you can in order to help the other person see you that you are a person with a virus, not a virus with a person, if that makes sense. It is scary out there trying to find someone to accept you, but from other people's experience on here it's definately possible. Oh, from what I've been reading on these posts there should be a vaccine within the next 5 years or so...there's some hope! Be happy!

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