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rockgirl

Is it really necessary to shower after sex?

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rockgirl

Ok, so here is the deal. Since my sons father and I found out we have GHSV2, sex has been a big issue for us. We haven't had sex in months. And it's because of me. I'm scared that I'm going to get the virus on other parts of my body, because during sex, you usually don't have your hands tied behind your back (lol). I just recently found out that it is not very likely to actually spread the virus to other parts of my body ( for example arms, legs, stomach, back....)and I've accepted that and it makes me feel better about having sex. I suggested that we shower off after sex because we have a son, and I do not want to take the risk of giving it to him.

Sounds like problem solved? No. He doesn't want to have to take a shower after sex. He says he wants to be normal. But guess what?! We aren't going to have that normal sex life anymore. We have herpes and we need to take precautions in order to not pass this virus onto our son by accident. He says he will wash his hands but your hands aren't the only thing being touched during sex.

We are currently on a break to try to find ourselves and he's using this as an ultimateum. Either he doesn't have to take a shower after sex, or he's not going to be happy and we won't be able to be together.

This is tearing me apart. I love him so much and I just want us to be happy together. But I feel like he's being careless and lazy about the situation. Showering is something so simple that can prevent so much, but he's not willing to work with me.

So the point of all this is, is it really necessary to shower after sex? If we were to get the virus on our skin ( arms, legs, backs...) would it just die quickly on it's own WITHOUT showering? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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andli

take it ease.

there is no additional benefit to shower after sex

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Was23
take it ease.

there is no additional benefit to shower after sex

There might be a benefit, but if so it is likely small, since you both have it already. I wouldn't worry about your husband giving the virus to your son (particularly if he'll wash his hands). And if it will make you feel better, go ahead and take a shower yourself.

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n2beme4

I understand why you are frustrated. But if you are avoiding sex during ob's and he is willing to wash his hands, I think your son would be safe. I worry about my children too. We're moms and we can't help it.

I always loved showering with my partners even before I had gh. Do you think you could persuade him if you...you know....made it worth his while in the shower? Having someone bathe you can be a very sensual experience. Maybe he would dig it if it was part of your "quality time" together. I hope it all works out for you.

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jericho

rockgirl, I don't think you need to be so worried about transmitting GH to your son. I asked about the efficacy of showering in another thread (different circumstance, but you may still find it useful): http://herpes-coldsores.com/messageforum/showthread.php?t=18722

I think the takeaway from that is that the virus gets in through the mucous membranes of the mouth, genitals, cuts in the skin, and non-keratinized skin (on a male - penis shaft, testicles). Combine that with the fact that your SO washes his hands afterward and that the virus isn't going to stay alive very long on his legs, arms, etc., and I think you don't need to worry so much about infecting your son.

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TinkerStarBell

@ Rockgirl I totally agree with you taking showers after intercourse. My husband and I are both h positive and we never question it, we've made it a routine. So far we've been having unprotected sex for over 6 months and nothing has popped up until now. We might both be experiencing an OB, so we're more careful now.

Has anyone out there whose having h positive sex experience OB in new locations on the genital areas?

If so were they very minor, small and hard to identify? I'm asking because neither my husband and I had ever had a second OB.

:(

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WarriorKing

My understanding is that the virus is fragile once is hits open air and so even if the hands touch the virus it would been dead very quickly. If the hands have open cuts then the risk grows to the hands themselves. But also, don't have sex during known outbreaks. Another idea would be for you to bathe him gently after sex while he gets to stay in bed and relax.

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regret

i wouldnt even worry about it if you both have it.. granted if you will be touching your kids right afterwards ..yes wash your hands,,,but other than that your fine

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JBnATL

The chances of you passing it to your son are remote

Washing your hands would be sufficient in helping cut down on the chance of passing it along to you son.

It appears your husband is using this as an excuse. If you agree with him on washing his hands he might come up with another excuse not to have sex with you.

Good luck!

JB

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