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Kat07

Should I have done it??

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Kat07

Ok well its a little too late now...but the guy that I slept with..and then a few days later had an OB...I found out he had slept with a dif. girl like the weekend before. Sooo..ive met the girl before and this morning I sent her a message and let her know that she needs to go get checked..cause the guy I slept with keeps making excuses as to why he cant make it to the clinic and get checked and keeps saying that he doesnt even have it cause theres nothing on his d***. Should I have sent her that e-mail and let her know? Or should I have just left it up to the guy...I didnt feel right just keeping her in the dark, I sure as hell would like to know if I was in her position....

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SeizeTheDay07

Hm.. I don't think it matters if you told her or not. I think that it was nice on your part to let her know. I really don't think it was a big deal, I mean, are you guys friends? I suggest, though, to get yourself checked first as well. He may not have necessarily given it to you, it could have already been in your body for some time if you have had sex before. Give the guy some statistics, and maybe he'll reconsider getting tested sooner.

Good luck! ;)

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Kat07

I found out Monday that I have HSV 2..they did a culture of a sore I had down by my genitals, clost to my thigh..I thought it was an ingrown hair but it wouldnt go away so I freaked out cause I had had sex with him like 4 days before..so, two weeks after the culture was done I was positive for it. And positive he gave it to me. I didnt know her..ive met her once and she seemed like a sincerely nice person, I just didnt feel right know that I have it, and knowing that I most likely got it from him, and that he has had sex with her too..and she is only 19...not that age really matters..im only 20..but like part of me thinks I shouldnt have told her cause its not my place, but if he still hasnt gotten tested and hasnt even told her theres a possibility of him having it then I feel ok about telling her.

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solvingtheproblem

Generally, a person cannot tell how long he or she has had the virus. There is an exception: when you have your first outbreak. The virus shows up in the swab test, but your immune system hasn't had the opportunity to create enough antibodies to show up in the blood test.

If this is the case, you are actually at the only time you'll ever have to determine if this is newly contracted, or if it's an old infection that is finally rearing its awful head after years of dormancy (either you or your partner could have had it laying dormant in your systems for many years). It is my understanding that:

+ive swab test test results + -ive blood test results = new infection

+ive swab test test results + +ive blood test results = old infection

Here is another excellent way of explaining this.

So make sure you get both of these tests done NOW, as they are time-critical. Antibodies usually show up in significant quantities (aka you "seroconvert") within 12-16 weeks of initial infection. Also, make sure you have an IgG blood test -- IgM blood tests are not accurate, but unfortunately some physicians still give perform this one. I'd especially see if they can do the HerpeSelect Immunoblot test -- it gives individual scores for HSV1 and HSV2. It won't tell you where it is, but it will tell you if you have one or both strains in your system.

IMO, your BF needs to put on his big-boy pants and do some homework -- if he is sexually active, he has exposed himself to STDs, even if he's always used a condom (they are only 30-50% effective at blocking HSV2, because once a person has it they can shed the virus on any skin surface connected to the sacral ganglia -- the yellow places on this diagram -- even when there are NO SYMPTOMS). Given that 50 million people in the US have HSV2, and 90% of them don't know it, there's a distinct possibility that he could be one of those millions of asymptomatic people -- I happen to be one, and if I hadn't had the blood test, I would never have known. Sorry -- his sticking his head in the sand does not make HSV go away. If he's mature enough to be having sex, he's mature enough to take responsibility for his actions and his body -- and what it could potentially do to others.

And lastly, I am truly sorry to hear of your news...it's a tough thing to come to terms with. Please feel free to come to this forum and post anything you're feeling -- it's a very supportive environment, filled with people who know exactly what you're going through. Ultimately, you WILL be OK! :-)

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Butterfly of the Moment

In my opinion that was a nice thing to do.....I'm one of those people who WANT to know that kind of stuff and if I'm seeing a guy and someone shoots me an email or text about him possibly having something, I'm glad to avoid finding out on my own...

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gotitsowhat

What about

an anonymous email? If you look to the right of these posts, you will see some blue lettered words; look under Life and Love, Do it Anonymously. It might be easier for you to do it that way and it might be easier for her to receive it anonymously since she will not feel obligated to discuss it with you.

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