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ktf

Do you let your friends set you up?

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ktf

I am newly diagnosed. I have not told my friends. A lot of them want to set me up. Do you let your friends set you up? I've said that I am only looking for friends now. I do not want gossip to be started about me if the guy is not into me because of my status.

Any advice?

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solvingtheproblem

I don't have any advice, but can empathize because I'm in the same boat. Since my diagnosis, several friends have tried to set me up and inside I just knot up. I think my plan right now is just to accept the set-up and go...if they go like the othe blind dates I've gone on, I don't have to worry b/c it never gets serious enough to worry about "the talk". ;-) If by some miracle it goes well and things get serious, I won't have to worry either -- because he'll have to be an awesome, great guy for me to feel that way. He'd be a guy who, by his nature, would be discreet and respectful of my feelings. If he wasn't, he wouldn't be the type of guy I'd get serious with anyway! :-)

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HappyDiva

Even before being diagnosed, I never dated people who are associated with people I already know. If it goes bad, its too much to deal with afterwards. All of my friends already know this so I don't have to explain anything now that I have "H".

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LifesADance

Many of my friends do know and they still try and set me up! I say to them that a) I'm not into set ups anyways B) how would they feel if it got to the point where I had to tell the guy and he came running to them freaking out "you knew!?!" That usually gets them to stop pushing the subject.

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gotitsowhat

My own experience

Even before I got herpes, I figured out that dates set up by friends do not seem to go well for me. The last two set up dates I went on were after my herpes diagnosis but by neighbors who did not know I had herpes. These dates were absolute disasters, the kind of dates that you actually almost enjoy because they are so bad that they make great dinner table stories for the rest of your life. These dates were awful. Maybe I'll post about them someday in the Chit Chat section (or the Bog!)

Unfortunately, when you are an unmarried (especially a never married) older lady, everyone tells you they know someone who is "perfect" for you. It usually turns out to be somebody in really terrible shape (one of my set up dates was with a guy suffering terminal depression who was on welfare and said he wanted a girlfriend so he could have help with his housecleaning), and I get insulted because they thought this person was "perfect" for me. Then I start brooding about what a terrible impression I must have made on my friends/neighbors for them to think this type of guy is my opposite number.

Eventually I have figured out, after talking to a lot of other chicks my own age, that when you're an older single woman, everyone thinks you must be desperate and so any guy who is willing to date you is "perfect" for you.

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darkhorse27

LOL! I had the worst date of my life a few years ago because a friend said she knew this guy who was perfect for me. Well he was really ugly, rude and chewed with his mouth open!lol!So what was even funnier was when I saw a friend and convinced her to go to the washroom with me, I completely dished about the worst date of my life, then we left and this absolute creeper was actually listening in outside the bathroom. He stormed off and my friend who set us up got this text message "I don't date short, fat, retarded girls with one eyebrow!" ROFL! Talk about bitter? And considering I'm gorgeous, in great shape and pluck I maintain that the man I was actually supposed to meet ended up going on a blind date with Danny Davito! LOL!

Blind dates...don't do it!

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chooseyourbattles

I met my new boyfriend through a friend of mine. My friend knows I have herpes, but he left it to me to tell my man. Most of our friends who know are very supportive of the relationship. A few of them are not, but that is because they want to have sex with my boyfriend. And my friend who introduced us still wants to have sex with me. You have to remember, people are usually following their own interests.

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SkiMan
I met my new boyfriend through a friend of mine. My friend knows I have herpes, but he left it to me to tell my man. Most of our friends who know are very supportive of the relationship. A few of them are not, but that is because they want to have sex with my boyfriend. And my friend who introduced us still wants to have sex with me. You have to remember, people are usually following their own interests.

We get it. Everyone wants you. :p

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talbut
I am newly diagnosed. I have not told my friends. A lot of them want to set me up. Do you let your friends set you up? I've said that I am only looking for friends now. I do not want gossip to be started about me if the guy is not into me because of my status.

Funny, I'm in the same situation. 2nd date tonight with a setup. I'd be so much easier if everyone knew my status.. but for now, I just am not that trusting.

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Cameron

yeah that sucks

yes i know what that feels like....my current circle of friends do not know...

only the bartender at the bar we go to...but he won't tell anyone.

so my friends are constantly trying to hook me up...and there is a kinda new guy in the group and he is really hot and nice and he flirts with me and i just act like I do not like him....but I do ....but I don't wanna get far enough to have to explain...

this sucks bad lately....people just think I am mean and don't have fun...

plus I am not drinking any alcohol anymore..

so it really sucks right now

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Awayday

In the same boat, I can't tell them why i've been single for a while and I know they are wondering and going " lets go get some girls tonight guys", im like, hmmm no, lets forget girls and just have beer. :(:(

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