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Sweetpea656

I'm so lost and alone

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Sweetpea656

Im 18 and just found out that I have GH. when i found out i sat in the parking lot of my dr's and just began to sob and beg and pray to God that he would take this away from me. I feel so unwanted and dirty. Im leaving for college in 2 weeks and am going to have to embark on this alone, i feel like i have no one to talk to about this because no one understands. this is something that will be with me forever. i started thinking about my future husband or any future relationships i would have and how it would be to tell them what i have, im so scared to death that i will be rejected and this disease will keep me from ever being loved. i keep trying to reassure myself saying that my future husband and i could just be really careful but i think the truth is its pretty much a 99% garentee that he will have this too and that is a big comitment to make, to take on your loved ones sickness. and i was reading about how when your pregnant and you have an outbrake when you are in labor then they have to do a C section, i dont want them to have to do anything because of my GH. i feel so lost and i keep praying every night that God will just take this away from me and i know he can but maybe i have this to show hig glory through me and show how he can use my life. but in scared. i haven't told my parents yet and dont know if i should.... i need some advice

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Blueskies

Oh sweetpea! My heart is breaking for you but do know that you will be alright and that you will find love. First off don't think about that or the future. Cure yourself emotionally first and come to terms with your new and still fabulous self. Once you have accepted it and can talk maturely about it people will be able to see you are a good, honest, mature, wonderful person and respect you for it ;) Yes rejection is hard and it sucks but everyone goes through it on every aspect about themselves. Your too short, too fat, too long of nose, what I mean is don't give yourself a complex because you can and will get rejected from other things it's a part of life and people plain and simple can sometimes be heartless and truly suck but when you find the ones who can accept you for who your truly are those are the ones you keep around you in your life and are worth having in your life! Am I right? Just know we are here for you and will not judge you.

Yours truly,

Blueskies

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hardtocope

To the OP, god will not take this away. Trust me I've been praying and begging god to take this away from me for a long time. It doesn't work.

The feeling you have will diminish as time, passes, but will never fully go away. It must be even worse to get this at the beginning of your sexual life and having to go to college. It will diminish.

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brendaicandy

Hi

First one ur not alone in this cuz everybody in this forum are in the same boat.I know how u feel cuz at the begining its so hard to believe or live with this virus but u have to be positive and stay focus in your goals don't let this stop u to do wathever u want it to do in a future.About telling ur parents is your decision but i suggest u to tell someone u trust about ur situation cuz this is a big package for yourself.Don't worry u about the future live the present ur so young.I wish u the best ...;)

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kel0329

Hi. I am really sorry that you've been diagnosed with this. I am 23 and was diagnosed in April 2009. It's a tough thing to have to deal with. Especially, at a young age. Trust me, I know.

I went through the same thing as you but I sat in my Doctor's office and sobbed in front of her. Ha-ha. I have talked to a couple guys since I was diagnosed and they both said it was not a big deal. I am sure you'll come across your immature men that will reject you. Just realize that they are not worth it. You don't have to "settle" either for someone else who has an STD.

Just take it day by day and don't sit around crying and stressing over it cause it'll only cause outbreaks! I unfortunately have outbreaks during every period. I'm hoping that stops but it's definitely happened the past 4 months in a row!

If you need someone to talk to you can message me anytime. I know what you're going through as do SO many other people! As far as telling your parents..that's up to you. Honestly, if your parents are the type you can "talk" to then it might help. My Mom was the first person I told. They are just a couple more people you can depend on to make you feel better when you feel like letting tears out.

As for the person that gave them to you. Being mad at them and hoping negative things towards them won't make your herpes go away. Don't waste your anger on them. One thing I want to tell you that I do for myself is DO NOT STRESS. It's a big thing that causes outbreaks!

Good luck and please feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to. ;)

-Kelly

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gotitsowhat

Young is good

Im 18 and just found out that I have GH. when i found out i sat in the parking lot of my dr's and just began to sob and beg and pray to God that he would take this away from me. I feel so unwanted and dirty. Im leaving for college in 2 weeks and am going to have to embark on this alone, i feel like i have no one to talk to about this because no one understands. this is something that will be with me forever. i started thinking about my future husband or any future relationships i would have and how it would be to tell them what i have, im so scared to death that i will be rejected and this disease will keep me from ever being loved. i keep trying to reassure myself saying that my future husband and i could just be really careful but i think the truth is its pretty much a 99% garentee that he will have this too and that is a big comitment to make, to take on your loved ones sickness. and i was reading about how when your pregnant and you have an outbrake when you are in labor then they have to do a C section, i dont want them to have to do anything because of my GH. i feel so lost and i keep praying every night that God will just take this away from me and i know he can but maybe i have this to show hig glory through me and show how he can use my life. but in scared. i haven't told my parents yet and dont know if i should.... i need some advice

It must be tough getting this at such a young age. However, in a way, you are lucky that you are so young because, assuming a normal life span, YOU WILL LIVE TO SEE THE VACCINE AND, SOMEDAY, THE CURE!!! Some doctors have told me the vaccine is just a few years away. When there is a vaccine, telling someone you have herpes will not be such a big deal because that person can protect him or herself with the vaccine. And there will be much better meds soon, too. You can bet that when the Valtrex patent runs out in a couple of years, there will be a newer better drug to replace it.

Yes, having herpes is a strike against you in your potential love life but that doesn't mean you can't find love. After all, having a bad case of acne is a strike against someone, or being overweight (as I am), or having a thick foreign accent or a limp or coming from a family on welfare....lots of things are deal breakers for some people. Herpes is like that; it could be the dealbreaker but not always. Some people just accept it. They realize that it is really just a minor viral skin condition with an unwarranted horrible reputation. And a lot of people have it themselves, too.

One in four women and one in five men. That is a lot of people with genital herpes. You CAN learn to live with it. It's a problem but whether it becomes a big problem or not depends to a great extent on your attitude. The more you can accept and feel comfortable with it, the more you will project that to others.

As for your parents, if you are very close to them and believe they would be a good source of wisdom and support, and that they could handle it without caving in to excessive worry and overprotectiveness, then tell them. Whether you tell your parents or not, you will find that just speaking out loud about it will help; there is something magical in hearing yourself speak those awful words, "genital herpes" out loud to another human being. If you do not have a friend you can trust with this, consider some temporary crisis counseling. You do need someone to talk to so if not your parents, then find someone who can offer support and help.

One good thing about college...you are with all of the most intelligent people, the most informed and educated people, and they are more likely, I would think, to be compassionate and informed about herpes than high school kids. You will be among adults now, not snotty high school kids.

You sound mature for your age and that is a good thing. I know this has been tough on you but I think you have every reason to look forward to a great life at college. All of the your fears about having herpes will shrink in size as you hang in there and get used to it. Remember, lots of people who have a herpes outbreak never get another one. That could be you, especially if you take good care of yourself and don't stress out too much. Listen to some comedy albums because laughter is good for the immune system.

Take care and feel better soon!

Laurie AKA Brainyblonde

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Eleanor09

hey. I am also a college student, just turned 21, and found out i had genital herpes about a month ago. it has also been hard for me too to accept that i have this as such a young age. i am scared too for my love life. i told a few trustworthy friends of mine and they said that they dont see me as any different than before. they love me just as much. those are the real friends you need to keep! i have had my bad days when i cry and feel dirty. but, having geintal herpes is not going to stop me from graduating college, get a job, or complete other goals in my life! i hope that you can feel that way too. having this annoying condition will not stop you from your goals.....maybe it will make you stronger! just keep on moving forward. :)

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talesofagirl
It must be tough getting this at such a young age. However, in a way, you are lucky that you are so young because, assuming a normal life span, YOU WILL LIVE TO SEE THE VACCINE AND, SOMEDAY, THE CURE!!! Some doctors have told me the vaccine is just a few years away. When there is a vaccine, telling someone you have herpes will not be such a big deal because that person can protect him or herself with the vaccine. And there will be much better meds soon, too. You can bet that when the Valtrex patent runs out in a couple of years, there will be a newer better drug to replace it.

Yes, having herpes is a strike against you in your potential love life but that doesn't mean you can't find love. After all, having a bad case of acne is a strike against someone, or being overweight (as I am), or having a thick foreign accent or a limp or coming from a family on welfare....lots of things are deal breakers for some people. Herpes is like that; it could be the dealbreaker but not always. Some people just accept it. They realize that it is really just a minor viral skin condition with an unwarranted horrible reputation. And a lot of people have it themselves, too.

One in four women and one in five men. That is a lot of people with genital herpes. You CAN learn to live with it. It's a problem but whether it becomes a big problem or not depends to a great extent on your attitude. The more you can accept and feel comfortable with it, the more you will project that to others.

As for your parents, if you are very close to them and believe they would be a good source of wisdom and support, and that they could handle it without caving in to excessive worry and overprotectiveness, then tell them. Whether you tell your parents or not, you will find that just speaking out loud about it will help; there is something magical in hearing yourself speak those awful words, "genital herpes" out loud to another human being. If you do not have a friend you can trust with this, consider some temporary crisis counseling. You do need someone to talk to so if not your parents, then find someone who can offer support and help.

One good thing about college...you are with all of the most intelligent people, the most informed and educated people, and they are more likely, I would think, to be compassionate and informed about herpes than high school kids. You will be among adults now, not snotty high school kids.

You sound mature for your age and that is a good thing. I know this has been tough on you but I think you have every reason to look forward to a great life at college. All of the your fears about having herpes will shrink in size as you hang in there and get used to it. Remember, lots of people who have a herpes outbreak never get another one. That could be you, especially if you take good care of yourself and don't stress out too much. Listen to some comedy albums because laughter is good for the immune system.

Take care and feel better soon!

Laurie AKA Brainyblonde

Not criticizing your post, just wanted to let you know that the valtrex patent has already run out. It ran out in June, I think.

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peanut123

I'm 19 and I found out that I have GH, so I can understand where you are coming from. The first person I told was my mom, and she was very supportive. If your parents were unaware that you were sexually active or disapproved of it I would suggest not telling them since it will only stress you out.

As for love life all I can say is that if the person is really into you he will stay. And the right man will be able to appreciate the strength you have to be able to take this on so young!

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xangel08x

Hey there i dont know you! But i am feelin ur pain i found out i had a serious bad case of type 1 2 weeks ago i am only 19 too and have had 2 weeks off work dealing with the pain n the stress of it , i wudn't call it lucky but i do have lots of girly issue and therefore telling my mum was not a problem in acutaly fact she had found this site b4 i even got the tests back!! N as for bf's n findin love i have been with my bf for 3 months, b4 i met him i got other issues dwnstair one being dermtitic which when ob its like herpes!! Guys like a relationship to start with trust honestly and your probaly better finding a older guy who as mature a little bit and maybe even exerprince these things before!!! Keep your head up high!! Rememba you are still the same person you was, you get over the pain and the stress and u will comeback with more positive attuide, waking up and saying u will get thru teh day is the best cure when dealin with the vuires i have been on morphine painkiller and sleeping tablets for the past 2 weeks sleeping with frozen peas in between my legs!!! It may even be a good idea to go to your doc and get a sick note tell them how you are feeling!!! Hope this info help you n makes u feel gd agen!!!! Chelsea

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gotitsowhat
It must be tough getting this at such a young age. However, in a way, you are lucky that you are so young because, assuming a normal life span, YOU WILL LIVE TO SEE THE VACCINE AND, SOMEDAY, THE CURE!!! Some doctors have told me the vaccine is just a few years away. When there is a vaccine, telling someone you have herpes will not be such a big deal because that person can protect him or herself with the vaccine. And there will be much better meds soon, too. You can bet that when the Valtrex patent runs out in a couple of years, there will be a newer better drug to replace it.

Yes, having herpes is a strike against you in your potential love life but that doesn't mean you can't find love. After all, having a bad case of acne is a strike against someone, or being overweight (as I am), or having a thick foreign accent or a limp or coming from a family on welfare....lots of things are deal breakers for some people. Herpes is like that; it could be the dealbreaker but not always. Some people just accept it. They realize that it is really just a minor viral skin condition with an unwarranted horrible reputation. And a lot of people have it themselves, too.

One in four women and one in five men. That is a lot of people with genital herpes. You CAN learn to live with it. It's a problem but whether it becomes a big problem or not depends to a great extent on your attitude. The more you can accept and feel comfortable with it, the more you will project that to others.

As for your parents, if you are very close to them and believe they would be a good source of wisdom and support, and that they could handle it without caving in to excessive worry and overprotectiveness, then tell them. Whether you tell your parents or not, you will find that just speaking out loud about it will help; there is something magical in hearing yourself speak those awful words, "genital herpes" out loud to another human being. If you do not have a friend you can trust with this, consider some temporary crisis counseling. You do need someone to talk to so if not your parents, then find someone who can offer support and help.

One good thing about college...you are with all of the most intelligent people, the most informed and educated people, and they are more likely, I would think, to be compassionate and informed about herpes than high school kids. You will be among adults now, not snotty high school kids.

You sound mature for your age and that is a good thing. I know this has been tough on you but I think you have every reason to look forward to a great life at college. All of the your fears about having herpes will shrink in size as you hang in there and get used to it. Remember, lots of people who have a herpes outbreak never get another one. That could be you, especially if you take good care of yourself and don't stress out too much. Listen to some comedy albums because laughter is good for the immune system.

Take care and feel better soon!

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      I just disclosed to a man who works in the medical field and he didn't make a big deal at all. He shared his sti results w me I didn't see HSV1 on the test report, so I asked him about it and that opened up the discussion. The discussion of it was maybe 2 sentences tops. That was reassuring. We've since had sex and there was no hesitation or weirdness. So I recommend dating people w medical knowledge
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