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mesh

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mesh

I...guess I wanted to tell my story, since this might very well be my last chance at feeling something other than dread. I have read all your stories, and they are courageous beyond what I could hope to emulate. I really wanted to say that first, since if this is what my life will be, I hope to be half as strong as any of you.

I'm 22 years old and I live in canada. Up until the saturday of last week, I was a Virgin through sheer circumstance, and nothing else. I had always wanted someone, just lacked ability. There was this one girl who I always cared a lot about and was friends with for a long time. We had over time grown close and flirted with the idea of being more than we were, and things were really great. On that saturday, which is now 8 days expired, a misunderstanding led me to believe that our situation wasn't so good, so I had broken our date and made my way to a bar in my town. So uncharacteristically, and considering my track record UNLIKELY, I met another girl that I was introduced to through a friend. In another blatant act of "be someone you're not", I eventually convinced myself that unprotected sex was a smart idea, with someone I just met no less.

The next day, I had spoken again to the first girl I had mentioned, and we hung out that night. It was our first kiss and completely rocked my world. It was the kiss I waited 22 years for, and had erased the night before from my memory forever...but that memory has been since stolen, with the possibility that I've changed this persons world forever.

Yesturday (from the authoring of this story), I entered a free clinic located in our town, crying uncontrollably and set up a full battery of tests. He had explained away the few symptoms that I had been experiencing, the most major of which is a supposed "ingrown pubic hair" located above my penis. Gauging by this mans mannerisms and broad generalizations, he was telling me whatever would calm me down. I ran through the tests, and was assured that I am foolishly digging my own psychological pit in anticipation. I know my own body, and something is wrong. I have no idea if it burns when I urinate, because my mind is so deep in, I'm willing myself to feel burning. I have irritations on my lips, but don't know if it's from me constantly poking and prodding them.

roughly 4 days to a week from the time I write this sentence, I'm going to get the results back on something I already know the answer to.

...I absolutely do NOT care what happens to me...but if I've given this to her, I'll never forgive myself.

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HSVcurious

Well to make the story short, the good news is that you cannot pass anything to her with a kiss. It can be argued that some STDs can be passed on by kissing but for it to happen in the real world it could be something like a billion-to-one, so you can rest easy on that part.

The bad news is that you need more time to determine whether you are STD free, refer below for when to take the test.

Gonorrhea - Usually 1 week is enough to detect an infection.

Chlamydia - 1 week should be sufficient

Herpes - 4 months

HIV - 3 months

Syphilis - Well I think its 6 weeks but someone can confirm that.

Since you had unprotected sex with someone you didnt know, you have a moderate risk to acquire an STD. Chances are slim you will be positive but there is a risk.

Also when you have sex, always use a CONDOM unless you know the sexual history of the person. You are given a choice to practice safe sex do not be foolish. Not being careful about ones health can be a really stupid thing to do.

Good luck and play it safe.

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shadowblue
And yes, have you been vaccinated for hepatitis B, that can be passed on sexually and kissing too.

That's mean.

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HSVcurious
That's mean.

How is that suppose to be mean? I am keeping him aware of the potential risks? Dont you think its better he knows if he is vaccinated for hepatitis B, its is after all a STD!!!

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Plupha

Hi Mesh, Welcome to the forums.

I am so sorry to hear of your situation! I know how hard it can be! I am recently diagnosed (almost a month ago) with GHSV and it's definitely a frightening burden to carry.

Like you I felt a lot of guilt and fear about having passed it unknowingly to someone else. All I can offer is hang in there until your results come in, no point stressing yourself out about bridges you haven't come to yet (I know, easier said than done!).

I found this forum a great relief in my hardest times, the links on the right (While overwhelming if taken on all at once) - are great resources to help you understand the nature of herpes and what to expect as well as what you can do to help your body fight it.

And I also found posting on the forums very therapeutic, trying to help others or just supporting them so they don't feel alone.

I am also in Canada. Feel free to pm me any time if you want to or need to chat.

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mesh

My update is as follows:

I've been to two doctors since the start of all this, and been assured that it's unlikely that I'm infected with either HSV1 or 2...

Today I'm developing on my lower lip what looks to be the beginning stages of a outbreak. Lower down, some innocent looking red pimples are forming, but that is likely to change if I'm as right as I have been leading up to the event. It's a poor end to a weekend that I moved through with a rested mind that all of this might have been behind me. At the same time, It's good to know I was right all along, and I'm past the fear or anguish that I'm now living with the virus. I'll be setting up another appointment for blood work in a few months to confirm-on paper-that I'm infected.

Wild ride, this one.

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gotitsowhat

You might want to read

my post Doctor Dictionary, about all of the ways doctors try to calm you down and reassure you that you do not have herpes; doctors do not like to diagnose herpes due to the social stigma.

When a doctor tells you that you are "unlikely" to have either hsv1 or 2, that is, frankly, ridiculous; in north America, about 80% of the population has hsv1, usually in the form of dormant or active cold sores. Hsv1 is frequently caught in childhood, often from a kiss from a family member or from sharing a glass with an infected sibling. So, statistically speaking, you are VERY LIKELY to have hsv1. And about 20% of all men in north America have genital herpes type2.

Doctors will avoid a herpes diagnosis if they can, especially if they can see that you are upset by the possibility of having herpes. One tactic used a lot is to ask you, "Do you want a full panel of STD tests?" Then, when you agree, they give you a bunch of STD tests but fail to tell you that these tests do not include herpes. Most "complete STD screenings" do not include herpes and doctors almost never tell you this. Doctors do not like to upset people and disrupt their lives over what the medical profession knows is just a minor medical condition, treatable, not medically a big deal.

Too bad other people don't see it that way.

The social stigma is the hard part of this stupid little virus. Most people think herpes IS a big deal because they know very little about it. The media likes to joke about it and treats it as if it were a comedy and that people who get it deserve to be ridiculed.

But we on this forum know the truth. Herpes is just a dumb mostly harmless annoying embarrassing little bit of a virus. We don't have to let it control our lives. We can kick that stigma to the curb, if we like. We have to start by not believing it.

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mesh
Doctors will avoid a herpes diagnosis if they can, especially if they can see that you are upset by the possibility of having herpes. One tactic used a lot is to ask you, "Do you want a full panel of STD tests?" Then, when you agree, they give you a bunch of STD tests but fail to tell you that these tests do not include herpes.

This is EXACTLY how it played out. He left it as more of a choice, as apposed to a valid course of action considering my concern. I thought it was strange at the time, but I was pretty upset, and it actually did ease my mind for a time.

On my way home from work today I stopped in to ask if the tests were back, and more importantly, if those tests included a Western blot. They couldn't answer that question, oddly. It's looking more like they did not include that in the testing, which is crazy to me, considering I voiced my concern that it may have been HSV. I already know I have it, but can't really start suppressive treatment until I have a hard copy of the facts.

Up until now, a Doctor to me was a parental figure. It's like he/she is the magical solution to whatever problem. Moreover, the trust thing is eating at me. I expected to get answers, not a silly patch job on my emotions, leaving me with no information or a bit of reality to grasp.

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HSVcurious

Based from your story, its unlikely that you have caught herpes, sometimes our mind plays games with us and the innocent looking pimples tend to look something more severe. Give yourself the 4 months window period and then get tested again with another bloodtest or you could opt for biokit which takes 15 minutes in the doctors office. If the results are negative it is conclusive that you are not infected with the virus.

A western blot should only be performed when your results are in the grey area of a false positive, so that is probably the reason your doctor did not perform the test. Do not go for the western blot unless you recorded a possible false positive when you go through the blood test after the 4 months mark.

Lets say that the test comes out positive for HSV-1, you should not feel bad as about 80% of the population are already infected with the virus. Its something part of nature which you have no control of.

Dont always trust doctors, I have learned that they are not always right. While most of their diagnosis is accurate but there are times where they do make mistakes. Some doctors are not even aware about false positives and tell the patient upfront that they have herpes, rather then recommending for further testing such as biokit or WB. Always get a second opinion.

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fargenign

Hello BrainyBlonde,

I am so glad I found your post. I just got the std results yesterday that confirms I have H1 & H2. I had NO IDEA that asking for a full std panel did not include herpes!! I'm having a hard time with this. I would always go to the MD and ask for full std tests every 6 months. The last one I did was 4 yrs ago before I got intimate with my bf. We both took tests both neg an I was not sexually active for about a year. I got tested recently because I think our relationship is about to end and I like to be prepared for the next relationship.

I feel like I did everything to be std free. I will take your advice though. I want to see this as just a harmless virus.. but at the moment I can't even think straight.

Thanks for reading,

B

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