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Lookonthesunnyside

What do you guys think??

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Lookonthesunnyside

I guess this is kind of a moral question and people might have different opinions. But for those with genital herpes, do you always tell a sexual partner your status before even letting them go down your pants? I'm talking no oral sex or contact with their private parts, just touching. Obviously when you feel absolutely no symptoms of an ob coming on.

I'm really getting sexually frustrated and I've been trying to decide whether I think this would be wrong or risky to do. The only danger in that case would be herpes whitlow right? Or maybe them touching you and then touching themselves...would that be an effective way to transmit the virus if you were shedding at that time?

Up until this point I've accepted that I will do nothing except kissing without telling a person, but I'm wondering now if there's anything else I can do without putting the other person at any real risk.

What do people think?

(I'm not saying I will do this, please no one attack me for this. I'm more just thinking about whether or not this would be immoral or risky. Dont even know if I would be able to go through with it.)

Thanks ;)

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ntdc
I guess this is kind of a moral question and people might have different opinions. But for those with genital herpes, do you always tell a sexual partner your status before even letting them go down your pants? I'm talking no oral sex or contact with their private parts, just touching. Obviously when you feel absolutely no symptoms of an ob coming on.

I'm really getting sexually frustrated and I've been trying to decide whether I think this would be wrong or risky to do. The only danger in that case would be herpes whitlow right? Or maybe them touching you and then touching themselves...would that be an effective way to transmit the virus if you were shedding at that time?

Up until this point I've accepted that I will do nothing except kissing without telling a person, but I'm wondering now if there's anything else I can do without putting the other person at any real risk.

What do people think?

(I'm not saying I will do this, please no one attack me for this. I'm more just thinking about whether or not this would be immoral or risky. Dont even know if I would be able to go through with it.)

Thanks ;)

If you are not having an active OB the risk would probably be very low, or not at all. You just dont ever hear of herpes being spread this way, if you did there would be a lot of strippers and "masseurs" with on their hands.

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Guest Seatortuga

I personally wouldn't let them touch me if I hadn't disclosed. I'd be most afraid of them rubbing their eye afterwards. So, nope.

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Shayna

One situation that I have read here time and time again is, people have been sexual with someone whom they thought were just a casual fling. Then something magical happens and they want to see this person again. They then have a knott in their stomach because they now have to tell this person they would like a relationship with that they have hsv.

So, from the emotional pain I've seen these people in, I would have to say to you...think about all the possible ramifications.

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tinks

Yeah i think id have to disclose before any kind of foreplay, i'm also getting quite frustrated its been two years since i've had sex and i really miss having someone close i just haven't met anyone i fancy let alone trust enough to have "the talk" with.

God i'm a picky sod!! ;)

Thing that worries me about the talk is is it fair to let someone get emotionally involved before telling them? It seems kind of cruel but obviously i don't want to be announcing it to men who i may not wish to be involved with or trust? Its such a dilemma.

Tx

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Was23
... is it fair to let someone get emotionally involved before telling them? ... Its such a dilemma.

It sure is! The reality is that very few HSV-negative people would knowingly start a relationship with someone who is HSV-positive if they learned about it before there was any sort of attachment. Yet, that attachment is often necessary for a potential partner to look beyond the virus.

Obviously we hide/minimize all sorts of imperfections at the start of a relationship, but few of them are risks to the health of the other.

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ntdc

Thing that worries me about the talk is is it fair to let someone get emotionally involved before telling them? It seems kind of cruel

Would you tell someone about your bad credit, or crazy dad, or any other type of medical condition, etc.. on a first date?

No of course not why would herpes be any different.

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foxyloxy25

I have Ghsv-1, and since it is so common to have hsv-1 if I just wanted casual sex with someone in the future and had no interest in a relationship with them I don't think that I would tell them, and nor would I have any qualms about not telling them.

That said, I haven't exactly kept it a secret so far, and have told a few men friends. I am often too curious about how people will react to keep it to myself. I have a need to know what they would say if they knew.

I could never have a relationship with someone without telling them, though.

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tinks

When i was first diagnosed i was trolling the net searching for answers and this guy has this website where he said not telling people from the start made them cowards and how unfair it is. It freaked me out as i thought shit i will never bloody get a date again let alone any intimacy.:(

TBH i'm not even brave enough to talk to my friends about this let alone a randon date.

Tx

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