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springsunshine

Newly Diagnosed

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springsunshine

Hello - I was recently tested for genital herpes and am currently waiting on the colture test to come back. The P.A. was pretty sure it was herpes however.

I'm really scared right now and going through a lot. I've been seeing my current bf since january and have not been with anyone besides him and truely believe he has not been with anyone besides me.

I've done lots of reading online about herpes and know that it could be from someone else that it was just dormant. I'm just frustrated because I've finally found the one and I'm ready to settle down and this feels like a huge blow to our relationship.

I'm a recent college graduate and just lost my health care. I have a full time job and my own apartment. A loving boyfriend who is trying to be understanding but it's hard. He doesn't want to hear everything I've learned since yesterday and does not want to be tested himself - he'd rather not know.

I think I'm taking it pretty well but I dont want it to be a ploy and later on learn that I didn't really accept it but forced myself to get over it. So I figured talking to other people would be a good step.

Thanks to you all who listen and respond.

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Looney

Hello springsunshine welcome to the site :)

Its really a good idea to start learning about the virus..And making yourself aware when your having symtoms to prevent outbreaks ect..

I think you should tell your boyfriend that if ithe test result does come back being herpes and theres a possibility he may have it also,He should deffinetly get tested for the well beign..I know it can take a told on you mentally thinking wether you have it or not.

I myself still havent been tested since I havent had an outbreak down there but experienced tingly symptoms.Im looking for places to get a blood test,An specific blood test would be great if you havent had any outbreaks.

While is nice that hes trying to understand your situation,Try to sit him down and tell him ignorance isnt a good choice when it involves your health.And that hsv is very common and alot of people with the virus dont know they have it.

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antoinette

hi! i am waiting for test results as well. it is definitely nerve wracking! it is also scary, so i try to look at it in a positive way - herpes is not life-threatening and it's manageable.

i think that if this guy really is the one you can settle down with, then you should have a pretty strong relationship, and a herpes diagnosis won't be a huge blow - but more of a bump in the road that you'll get past and grow from. your boyfriend will come around if he truly cares.

i hope your boyfriend just needs a little time to adjust to the news, and i really hope he will see how important it is for him to get tested so he can take care of himself, as well. if he continues to pull away, don't let it keep you from accepting yourself and taking care of yourself. it seems that so many others have overcome this and the effect it can have on some relationships.

i wish you the best of luck.

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springsunshine

Thank you

Thank you. It's been 2 days since I've been tested - still waiting for the results. He's coming to accepting it. He's being supportive and we've talked about not leaving each other so I think we'll be okay. I'm just scared because he hasn't had any symptoms. Part of me is scared he doesnt have it and will leave and the other part is mad because it's like I want him to have it - which I dont. It's all just really scary and I just need some friends to go through this with that understand. Thanks

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    • valleynovascotia
      Any advice on on how i can change the way she thinks of her insecurities in the event I ever see her again or hang out with her or do you guys think that it's better too just walk away. The truth is though i never met another girl like her before and she was fine with me having herpes i could tell by the she reacted too it . How do you change the way someone views them self that has low self esteem. 
    • WilsoInAus
      Note @Asr624 that an IgM result does not confirm a herpes diagnosis. Was the rash swabbed as well?
    • LiveLife100
      Yes it's entirely possible that he didn't know and just now gave it to you. I've been with my husband almost 19 years and he was recently tested and is still negative. It's still possible of course that I could give it to him at any point. Sounds like you have a strong marriage and there is no reason this needs to be an issue other than a minor annoyance. I have 2 healthy children and have had no related medical issues due to HSV.
    • Hellothere123
      I have been with him and didn’t tell him and now I can’t tell him because I know it would ruin any chance of reconciliation. I don’t want to live with this and I don’t want to live without him 
    • Asr624
      I am so sorry that happened to you. No one deserves that. Praying for you. 
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