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foxyloxy25

Does anyone else feel like they go on an emotional rollercoaster every time?

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foxyloxy25

Most of the time, I am ok with having herpes. It doesn't feel like it intrudes on my life much, really.

But every time I get an outbreak, it makes me really depressed. These days, I just feel really down and disgusting and untouchable when I have an outbreak.

But when I first caught it, having an outbreak was like finding out all over again. I felt practically suicidal, and like no man would ever want me for me again.

I am normally fine with having it, I don't see it as a big deal. But for some reason, having sores on my genitals really makes me feel like shit. Having an outbreak just puts me on a complete emotional rollercoaster everytime.

I don't even have the excuse of having bad outbreaks. Mine are unusually mild, they don't hurt at all, and I often can't even see them - I'd need a magnifying glass!

Is this how everyone feels about having outbreaks? Is it the physical symptoms that bother you? Or is it just no big deal in any way?

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hatemyex

i definitely do. i got my first outbreak in 2007 then it was another 2 years before i got another one. so for the past few months i keep getting outbreaks every few weeks and i dont know why. everytime i get one it brings me back to the time when i was first diagnosed and i start worrying again and think no one will ever love me etc. but when i dont have outbreaks i dont even think about it and im always happy and smiling. when i have a outbreak it drains me physically and emotionally....

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lizabeth

I struggle mentally when I have to call the doc and ask for more medicaiton.. It's embarrasing for me b/c I use to work there and am still friends with some of the girls in the lab..

I have had many internal OB's and the discharge makes me feel totally nasty and it has a unique smell..

That's my lowest point... Having to wear a light pad b/c of discharge due to OB.. and what's ironic.. I haven't had a period since 2001 and here it is 2009 and i'm for the first time in years buying essential items...

I don't feel so pretty...

But yes like you when the OB is gone I do feel "normal again"..

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lonelygirl1

I feel the same way! With all the crap around my pending divorce, financial issues & getting back into dating my outbreaks have been pretty much ongoing for the last several months. It does make you depressed & drains you emotionally & physically. Right now I'm at my wits end. It does help that there are others that actually understand.

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Lookonthesunnyside

I felt exactly the same way for the first 6 months or so. And it still upsets me a bit. I just now make a conscious effort to tell myself that its not big deal, and I find that that really helps my stress levels and in turn the severity of the ob. I have this new thing where I tell myself "its just a pimple" or "its just an itch, who cares". Obviously its different but I just try and think of it as a skin thing, not an std thing. I ask myself "am I crying over that pimple on my chin? No, so I'm not gonna cry about this" If you fake a 'meh' attitude you can start to believe it.

It would be harder if you were having severe painful obs, I dont have those so it may be easier for me.

Just remind yourself that stressing wont help it go away, it will in fact do the opposite. Instead of getting upset and beating yourself up try and view it as a reminder to take extra special care of yourself. If you're bummed about an ob coming on do something nice for yourself and try and shrug it off as best you can. It'll get easier over time.

;)

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tinks

This is going to sound weird but when i'm actually having an ob my attitude is really bolshy and i go f**k it towards it, it happens everytime. It's only when its cleared do i feel disgusting.:(

I don't know why but i get like it before its about to come out of hiding too its like an emotional prodome.

Tx

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GntiNh

I saw my "herpes giver" this morning totally by accident. I wished I could have said something smart, but I didn't - I just looked straight through him.

It was an odd feeling and actually rapidly disappeared due to the much bigger things going on in my life at the moment.

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cj1

I can relate to all of you

I certainly can relate to all of you. I am recently diagnosed and feel the same as the rest of you. Ashamed, dirty, alone, confused, worthless, guilty. I always prided myself on my hygiene but now it all is changing. The past couple of days all I want to do is sleep. I am drained emotionally and physically. Which is unusual for me considering I am a gym rat and am there 5 times a week. My first "ob" was about a week ago which was very mild but just wondering what to expect from now on. any help?

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regret

most likely if your outbreaks have been mild they will continue to do so, but every once in awhile you may get a bad one

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tinks

^^^^

Yup agree with the above poster, my primary was very mild gone in days and i had no other symtoms ie flu-like etc, mine have remained mild too. My last ob i couldn't even see!

Tx

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inspired83

Like you, my ob's except the first few, are now mild. When I'm stressed I know I will get an ob. This then turns, depending on how stressed I am, makes me feel sad and depressed. But since I have no one in my realm of friends/people to talk to, I come here to the forum. I feel better after helping people and putting in my own input. Or reading posts about how others have found a way through this disease. Other times, like now, I come to put in my weekly/monthly input, especially at times when I can't sleep and/or don't have to be at work the next day. lol

Find something that will help you out during your ob's. It could be a walk in the park, a hot bubble bath, talking to someone, writing in a journal, going to the park and swinging on the swings like a kid once again. There are various ways to get through each ob. Just like every person in the world, we have our up days and our down days. As long as your down days don't come every day, then you are doing okay. If you ever need to just chat send me a PM. :-)

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