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AloneConfused

I feel like a monster as taken over my body and used it for its own purposes

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AloneConfused
:confused::cry: I can not even begin to put into words how i feel. I had an encounted with this issue almost two years ago. Now all of sudden my body is going crazy. I have not been sexually active since him because after we broke up I did not get test for it. I attempt to twice. My doctor told me they could do a blood test but it would be no for sure answer on the results. She told me that the blood test usually do not give accurate results. She said that I would have to wait until i have an outbreak. I was paranoid, the result were negative but since she said the results would not be accurate. I waited and test again the same way. Then after getting laid off, losing my health insurance, getting evicted from my apt being forced to move with now money, for the past 4 months my body has been feeling weird. I know its not normal I feel it. I feel like something has taken over me. I have tried to find clinics that do it but apparently it is a rare test. The one place that I did fine were charging $755.00.:evil: I could not believe that. THen i have looked at the self testing kits on line but they are still $200.00. So I am still in search of a place where I can find help. Then dealing with the whole emotional part of it is so hard. My friend don't understand why I just wanna be left alone. My mom keeps calling me. My father is calling everyday. I don't know if i have it or if I am contagious. I am scared to touch people. I am scared to put lotion on my body because I don't even want to touch down there. I have done the research and all I do is cry. I have already been test for the other STDs and HIV and those came back negative/normal. So what else could it be? I already know about HPV. I did have abnormal cells and I got that taken care of during that time. But now its time for another check up and I have not health insurance. I crying right now just out of know where I feel alone and sad. I don't know how much longer I can go through this emotional and mental torture.:cry:

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Butterfly of the Moment

Hello darling, I don't think it helps you to be in the situation without financial stability and support...it must be hard on your body...I don't have health insurance right now either and I have a joke of a paycheck...I'm 23...you DO NOT have to wait until you get an outbreak to test for herpes...find a different doctor...there are blood tests more accurate than others...do not fear transmitting the disease so much...if you've done your research you will find how to prevent doing so...maybe the symptoms you are feeling are not related to a sexually transmitted disease...is it possible for you to stay with your family for a short time to save money and find a job that can offer you health insurance?...I myself just got my bachelors in hospitality but am seriously considering going back to get my bachelors in nursing using an accelerated degree program...I pay for EVERYTHING by myself and have lots of loans but I'm tired of the struggle of finding a job of worth. Keep your chin up, have a good cry, and afterwards brainstorm and find out exactly what you need to do to get it together again...a plan of action...it won't be easy but it's the only way.

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AloneConfused

Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. I have already started my action plan. I am just crying while I am trying to stay busy and keep things in motion.

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ntdc

If you need testing google "anonymous std testing" and your city and you are likely to find a place which can do the blood test for you.

I have had testing done through http://www.requestatest.com/ and i believe the herpes IgG type-specific is $150.00 This is the one you want the IgG type specific. You can get either the "ELISA" test or the "immunoblot" test, the immunoblot is a tiny bit more sensitive (less chance of false negative) but also costs more and may take longer to come back. The ELISA test should come back in 24-48 hrs

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