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Just found out yeaterday

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Hi everybody. I am very new to this (S.T.D.'s). I have never been faced with anything like this before. I am 32 yrs old and have had only 5 sexual partners. I just found out yesterday that I have Genital Herpes, and I am scared beyond belief. I know who "gave" it to me. I have known him for 2 years and have been with ONLY him. I am very careful with who I sleep with. I got tested a week ago Friday and as soon as I got back fro the doctor's, I called and let him know what I had been tested for. I asked him if he had been with ANYBODY else other than me while we were together, he didn't answer me for a good 30 seconds. I told him..."That's all I need to know"..."How many?"..he said there was only one. I waited and agonizing week before the results came back in. When they did, they said it was positive, which devastated me. I called him back and let him know what the results were and told him that he needs to make 2 phone calls...the other lady and the lady he's with now. I went yesterday to see him...(he lives out of state) and we talked about it briefly. He's saying that he didn't think it was him who gave it to me...What I have read about it is that it can stay dormant for several years. When i got to his place, we talked for a little while about nothing, just small talk. Then he looked at me and said "If I did give it to you, You have no idea how bad I feel" Which I do believe that. He has a big heart. I have help him through so much over the past 2 yrs....now it's his turn to be there for me. Back to the story........Everything was fine until we got back from Walmart. He was hinting around that he wanted to get physical. I was a little hesitant at first, but eventually gave in. Then about 45 minutes later he said..."I really should not be in this situation". He kept saying that over and over again. I took that as an insult because he knows exactly how I feel about him, I've told him several times over the past year. I asked him "what changed between the last time I was here and now?" His responce...."I wanted to see how far I could take it". I took that as an insult, and it was very embarrassing. I said "Alright" got up and walk into the livingroom. He did try to talk to me about it, but I was too embarressed to say anything and left it alone.....eventually he fell asleep. I tried but I had so much on my mind, I couldn't sleep. So I quitley got my things to gether and left him a note saying that I'm sorry but I couldn't stay here any longer, it just hurt too much. I told him I loved him and left.

He still doesn't know if he has this or not, he's getting tested Monday. But I have a question.......If he was the one who gave it to me...is it possible for his results to come back negitive...or can MY results be a false positive? I have so much running through me mind and know which way is up or down anymore. There are so many unanswered questions, and don't know who I can trust to tell or talk to.

Thank you to everybody who reads this!!!!

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Welcome to the club!

Hi, sorry to hear you are going through a hard time. We all have been there, but it does get better.

Yes there are false positives and false negatives. The most reliable test is the western blot blood test. If you really want to be certain take that one.

Do a search on "herpes support groups" and you may find one in your area. The one here in the ATL really helped me. And check out the h dating sites, mpwh.com and positivesingles.com are two of them. You will find many people just like you on those sites.

I have had this many years and it means nothing to me now. I have given the talk many times without any rejections. I hope you realize soon that you can live a full life with this disease.

Good luck!


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  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • Quest
      He is not a good mate for you because you will go through tougher, much tougher subjects and he is the running type. My guess is that he is not clean himself. what I would give to see his paperwork
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    • AnonF
      So I disclosed for the first time last week. I was feeling confident after reading all of the positive disclosure stories out there. I was armed with the stats and presented the information in a calm manner as recommended. I was happy to find out that the guy already had a lot of knowledge about it because had an ex w the same issue. It was nice to have sex without having to worry about harboring a secret, I felt normal for once   I got a text from him in the AM and I was hoping for the usual "had a great time, can't wait to see you again" but instead he was blithering on about being paranoid about the contact. We exchanged one more message that day, and today I sent one, no response..... pretty certain I've been ghosted.  I am back to that dark place where I feel like I'm unlovable / unfuckable dreg of society. I'm a single parent which doesn't help, nobody wants a relationship w someone like me... add the herpes and I might as well be a 400 lb amputee on welfare with an IQ of 70. I feel like I am going to have to eventually "settle" for someone that is willing to be with me, but I don't really like them. I feel that a man that is willing to accept this is probably an unwanted outcast himself.  So ultimately I fear I will have nobody, or settle for a guy that disgusts me

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