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imusuallysohappy

i need all the help i can get...someone??

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imusuallysohappy

so i just found out yesterday that i have herpes. i'm 22, have been with the same man for a year who i am engaged to, and i'm an RN...and i'm a depressed WRECK. so how did i end up in this mess??

my fiance had a coldsore on his lip, he went down on me and bam...i have genital herpes. does this make sense? am i missing something? i am in so so so much pain (had to call into work 2 days in a row because i could barly walk), and had to spend $150 on acyclovir ointment and valtrex. i'm miserable, and never thought this could happen to me. i'm so sad and i just don't know how to react to this new diagnosis of mine. i can't believe i was so stupid to have oral sex while my fiance had a coldsore. DUH. omg--so i'm completely RANTING right now...anyone out there who has a word of advice, please, please...any is appreciated.

and i feel embarassed...i don't know who to tell...who to go to...ugh. sorry. :confused:

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GntiNh

Hi and welcome. I'm GHSV1 from oral sex.

It was really hard, but this site has helped alot. Loads of information on the panel on the right, and a mass of information and support from the forum.

Take care

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JBnATL

Welcome to the club!

Hi,

I have had this disease many years and it means nothing to me. I understand HSV1 causes fewer number of outbreaks than 2 so you are fortunate there. And assuming your pending marriage works out you will never have to give the 'talk'.

If you read some of the other posts here you will find that there are many people in much worst conditions than yourself, so consider yourself lucky.

And come to the Live Chat room. There you will find many friendly supportive people.

Good luck!

JB

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breckgirl

I got it exactly the same way 22 years ago. "Oh its okay, I'm horney, I want to cum." wah wah wah. In the heat of the moment we lose all sense of direction, so try not to be too hard on yourself for feeling invensible in your lover's arms. Welcome to the site. It has helped me tremendously. I am sure your fiance feels as terrible as you do and I am crossing my fingers for you that you can confront and deal with it together. When I wake up in the morning, I come straight here to see if I can help a lost soul as I have been helped.

Separately, the first OB is almost always the hardest. Hopefully since it is ghsv-1 your OB's will be few and far and between (as with me) and much more mild due to "site of preference", meaning it doesn't normally thrive in the genital area so it might not want to set up camp too often and build a bonfire in your shorts while it is kickin it with a beer and your self esteem. I am not making light of your situation, just hoping to bring a smile to your face which probably hasn't had a smile in a few days.

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gotitsowhat

From our point of view...

we are sorry you are having to deal with this. We all know how you feel. It is not fun to find out you have this and it is tough if the outbreak is very painful as most first outbreaks are. There are pretty good odds you won't have another outbreak and, if you do, it will almost certainly not be nearly as bad as this one is.

Remember to drink plenty of water so that your urine will not burn so much. And to ease the pain of urinating, you can pour a pitcher of cold water over the area while you are urinating. You can also put a dab of Neosporin or diaper rash creme on the outbreak before you pee. If you can get your doctor to prescribe Lidocaine, that can ease the pain, too.

Gosh, aren't nurses the ones who always tell us...."Hey, it's just herpes. It's no big deal."? The last one who told me that got this answer from me: "There is one main reason you are telling me that herpes is not a big deal--because it is not you getting diagnosed." To her credit, she smiled and nodded some agreement. So the one good thing about all of this is, you now understand the physical and psychological pain of herpes a whole lot better than most medical professionals ever do. And you can be understanding to patients who get this. Also, I hope you will speak up around other nurses and medical assistants when they make disparaging or ignorant remarks about patients with herpes. I have read posts about that here and it makes me cringe to realize that there are medical people who know my diagnosis and are looking down on me for it. You will be among the enlightened.

And, we can hope, you will live to see the vaccine and, eventually, a cure for this. In coming years, there will be much better medical management of this condition. So, things will get better.

Meanwhile, take good care of yourself. The misery and pain WILL pass. Just be patient and know that things will improve very soon. It's just a stupid little virus with a ridiculously overblown reputation. You will triumph in time.

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Lookonthesunnyside

Hey there, dont beat yourself up. I would say the majority of people still believe that oral herpes stays on the face, and genital herpes stays down there. A common misconception that should have been addressed by now in schools and by our health care system.

The good news is, you're with someone you love and who loves you. Type 1 is also generally harder to spread genitally, and you are at no risk of passing it back to your partner orally. There is a chance he could get it genitally from you if he doesnt already have it, but I believe its actually very very slim. Also, while the first ob for genital type 1 is usually quite bad, it sheds a lot less than type 2 and recurrences are generally quite mild.

It will be okay, just try not to let yourself succumb to the stigma. One the initial ob and pain subsides you will see that you can eventually go back to feeling 'normal' ad like yourself again.

This place is great if you have any questions or are looking for support. ;)

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  • Posts

    • floydmonk
      I had my first outbreak in June, very close to the date of your post. I healed up before the end of the month and it was about as many as you mentioned. I have gHSV1. The test was done on the left under the head of my penis because I had mostly healed by the time I made it to the doctor. There has been pain ever since in that one spot, but there hasn’t been any outbreaks. There are visible red spots that seem to linger forever. I’m a little concerned about this. Overall I’m lu it it is bite type 2 and I am doing my best to manage it. I hope you are doing well also since June. My wife and I (who I think I got it from) use condoms to prevent her from contracting it genitally. It’s a much more serious problem for women than men, as it can be internal for them and affect childbirth. Condoms are critical until a cure comes around, and there looks to be promising research. Hope you are well.    
    • floydmonk
      I have been suffering from nerve pain after my first outbreak in June. Today I tried a charlotte’s web salve product and it took the pain away. I wouldn’t use it during an active outbreak though for risk of spreading it.
    • Quest
      Unfortunately that is the most common place men get infected!
    • Quest
      They are not the yardstick that you measure your worth with! It also tells you something about each and every one of them! To the ones you treated you well before I would personally talk to them and see if that was actually what he said to them? Maybe he said something different?
    • AnonF
      I just disclosed to a man who works in the medical field and he didn't make a big deal at all. He shared his sti results w me I didn't see HSV1 on the test report, so I asked him about it and that opened up the discussion. The discussion of it was maybe 2 sentences tops. That was reassuring. We've since had sex and there was no hesitation or weirdness. So I recommend dating people w medical knowledge
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