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Sweet girl 77

I don't know what to expect

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Sweet girl 77

I found out yesterday I have herpes, don't know if it is 1 or 2 yet. I have not had sex for 6 months and found an extreme chemistry and went with it, unprotected. 2 weeks later I have genetal herpes. He told me he was clean and I believed him. He is very cocky and distant and will probably dump me when I tell him I have this. From what I read, it is possible I didn't get it from him. The sex was intense. Could it be the awesome sex brought out a virus I have had for years, or did he give it to me? How do I tell him? How do I go on? I am a very young 59 year old woman in great shape and I attract a lot of guys, but I am quiet and haven't done anything this stupid before. I always make men wait so I can get to know them. This chemistry was so good I made a big mistake. Can anyone relate to me or give advice?

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chooseyourbattles

You've got your age working in your benefit. A lot of older people understand that they cannot expect their partners to be without baggage.

You could have had the virus for years, but I don't think that matters so much. The point is, you have it now, and you are stuck dealing with this information.

I'm 22, but like you, I've always had my pick of the litter. Some people will reject you, but others will factor in everything else about you and realize that you are worth the risk.

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gotitsowhat

You were just unlucky

I found out yesterday I have herpes, don't know if it is 1 or 2 yet. I have not had sex for 6 months and found an extreme chemistry and went with it, unprotected. 2 weeks later I have genetal herpes. He told me he was clean and I believed him. He is very cocky and distant and will probably dump me when I tell him I have this. From what I read, it is possible I didn't get it from him. The sex was intense. Could it be the awesome sex brought out a virus I have had for years, or did he give it to me? How do I tell him? How do I go on? I am a very young 59 year old woman in great shape and I attract a lot of guys, but I am quiet and haven't done anything this stupid before. I always make men wait so I can get to know them. This chemistry was so good I made a big mistake. Can anyone relate to me or give advice?

We who catch this little intruder are just unlucky; it's not because we had great sex. And you can get this even with a condom, unfortunately. I am 64, an aging hippie and also fairly young for my age. As for the cocky guy who may have infected you (if you get a blood test, it may be able to indicate whether this is a new infection or an old one that has just come out of dormancy)....I'd just send him an anonymous email which you can do by using the blue lettered menu to the right of these posts (under Life and Love, Do It Anonymously).

If you are the kind of woman who gets to know a guy before a relationship and sexual intimacy, then you are probably in good shape compared to many. When someone knows you, they are less likely to summarily reject you over this. And if you get to know them, you will have a pretty good idea of how they might react or will at least trust them not to be harshly judgmental about it. Some people do consider herpes a deal breaker. But others do not. The only way to know for sure is to put yourself out there and take the chance. Lots of people on here have found sex and even love with herpes. The main thing with this is not to lose your courage and your sense of yourself. People on this forum seem to suffer the most when they just give up and brood. If you go out there and relax about the herpes, your odds of finding someone are much better than if you sit home and brood fearfully about it.

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Sweet girl 77

I am the type of person who gets to know someone but I have had really rotten sex. I was to the point where I didn't care if I ever had sex again. When I met Cocky guy it was something I have only experienced once before. From his first kiss I could tell we would be good together and within a few days we went to bed. We talked a lot about ourselves first and about being clean. I knew I was, I had tests done. But I am not sure they did a herpes test. I will call the doctor on Monday and try to get some info. Cocky guy told me he was clean and I believed him. I hope the blood test can tell if this had been in me a while or if it is new. I don't want to contact him until I know. I do want to see his face when he gets the news so I would like do it in person even though I am sure he will not want any more to do with me. He has told me he wasn't driving the 2 hours to see me just for sex, but I still can't quite believe that. He takes me out to eat and then we have sex a second time and he leaves to be with his friends at home. Before I got herpes, I had already decided I would not see him again unless it was at his house. I haven't been there and I don't know his address. He doesn't like needy women so I pretty much let him do the contacting. I am in a dance community and I will see him once or twice a month at dances. He is 2 hours in one direction and I also go 3 hours in another direction to do this dance as there is nothing locally. I still can't believe I gave into the strong chemistry and didn't get to know him before I did anything. I guess it is because I am 59 and wanted to experience great sex. So I have had 3 days of great sex and now I feel like damaged goods and I have not heard a thing from him. I have met a lot of nice people through this dance community, so why didn't I stick with my usual nice? I don't think I will feel the same flirting with guys anymore. I love to flirt. I do agree with you in that I should not sit home and brood. That won't get me any place. I am afraid if I do find someone else and he rejects me, he will tell all his buddies and then no more dancing partners.

Could you tell me how you got to the page where my note is posted? I can only get there and see my post and yours. I need to learn how to use this site. Thank you so much for writing.

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Sweet girl 77

Thanks for being supportive. How long have you had this Chooseyourbattles? Have you been rejected?

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