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justmyself

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justmyself

I have not been formally diagnosed yet, as the problems just started last Thursday. I went to the doctor for what I thought was just a vaginal infection and had no sores yet. I was given Flagyl for a bacterial vaginitis infection. On Saturday, I discovered a sore and assume it is herpes. My boyfriend also has two sores. We have both participated in a very sexual lifestyle and don't know who we got it from. Are we resigned to never have sex with anyone uninfected for the rest of our lives? Right now, I am very upset and depressed about this whole thing. I feel like just want to crawl into a dark cave and never emerge again! I can't help but believe I am being punished for having sex with multiple partners, even though condoms were a must each and every time. Apparently, they are not effective in preventing herpes. I feel like a horrible excuse for a human being right now.

I hate doctors to begin with, let alone having to go in with something like this. I don't see any benefit to going in when there isn't anything they can really do for it anyway.

Any support or advice would be much appreciated!

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GntiNh

Hi and welcome.

I know doctors are sometimes not good, but you both need to be tested to see which type you both are.

If you look in the panel on the right it gives lots of information, as to whys and wherefores.

It's really hard at first but this site is very good for support.

You aren't being punished, please don't crawl in to that dark cave however inviting it's seems right now.

If you do a second posting that you can join in "live chat" and chat with others directly.

Take care

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Butterfly of the Moment

Please don't feel like you are being punished...catching a virus can happen to anyone...a girl i know in college caught herpes from the first guy she ever slept with and someone else has slept with 40 girls and still does not have the virus (he gets tested) so it's just the luck of the draw...or unluck I should say. This is a contagious and common std and anyone who is sexually active is at risk. For most people, it is hard to cope with the repurcussions of our decisions...I do regret sleeping with the guy that gave me this std frankly b/c he meant nothing to me and is a liar on top of that...I guess I thought people would be as honest as I was about their status. Yeah, some people on here cannot move on in their lives b/c of this virus...and I feel I will always look back on my bad decision to engage in casual sex, but I've altered my attitude in order to cope and be able to smile and laugh and forget even just for a minute about this piece of shit virus with a huge stigma that is ridiculous. You will get through this if you want to, it's a matter of will...time will help heal you but you have to do the rest. Good luck darling and stay strong. At least you have someone to help you through this, some people find out alone and don't have anyone to turn to or talk to about it.

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justmyself

Doctor/diagnosis

It doesn't sound like a blood test will be helpful since the OB is brand new, unless this is an old virus, and it sounds like you have to wait 3 months after the first OB to get a correct diagnosis.

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Butterfly of the Moment

I didn't get a bloodtest for my first genital herpes outbreak, I went in to the doctor and they took a swab of the sore, and then the results came back positive for genital herpes.

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gotitsowhat

Get tested

First of all, you must get tested to find out IF you have herpes. Lots of things can look like herpes. And second, you must get tested to find out which type you have, if you do have it. Knowing what type will tell you something about how to manage it. A swab test can be done on an outbreak at the height of the outbreak to be accurate but a blood test must be done at least 3 months from time of exposure so you may have to wait on that.

At one point, I remember someone who posted on this forum who was very upset because he'd had a visual diagnosis and was so convinced he had herpes that he did not follow advice about going to a doctor to be tested. Eventually, when he did get tested, it turned out he did not have herpes. That happens sometimes.

All kinds of people get herpes. It's a very common little virus. Lots of people have posted that they got it from a first sexual encounter or one of their first sexual experiences. The idea that you have to be promiscuous to get this is just not so.

I know how you feel about doctors; I hate to go to doctors. I am a sissy about needles and most other medical procedures, hate sitting around in those stupid little gowns that I am convinced were invented to humiliate people (I am overweight and they never cover my rear end!) and I hate having to wait and wait in the waiting room amidst wailing kids and coughing people. Furthermore, my mother was a hypochondriac (she's gone now--she died in her 90s of old age!) so I have a LOT of bad memories of being forced to go to doctors constantly for nothing. I spent my otherwise healthy childhood getting lots of medical tests.

Nevertheless....when ya gotta go, ya gotta go. Don't let the unpleasantness of one slightly difficult medical visit stop you from knowing the facts about this. There is plenty a doctor--a good doctor--can do to alleviate any pain you might have from an outbreak, and to treat you so that you heal more quickly.

Best of luck. We all know how tough a situation this can be. But at least learn the facts before you face them and deal with them.

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      Give it a try and report back to us. It's pretty safe vaccine approved by the FDA.
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      Have you tried changing your GP surgery? A decent doctor must surely realise that having back to back outbreaks warrants long term suppressive medication.  Aciclovir is available at very low cost to the NHS. I'd be firm with your doctor in what you'd like to do and make it clear you are educated on the relevant issues.  Don't be ashamed to talk to your GP. It is confidential.  FYI - walk in sexual health clinics (separate health record) are only as allowed to dispense a limited amount on the basis of episodic treatments. 
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      I agree, herpes doesn’t show up as discrete little dots like your pic.
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      @Kurdt01Thank you! Very validating! And yes many doctors are so uninformed and misinformed it's incredibly frustrating.  ur right in multiple forums I've seen commenters invalidate someone's experience with herpes which is so weird. There's a wealth of experiences similar to both of ours but people put their hands to their ears and drill home "herpes is just a minor rash outbreak, nothing more."
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