Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  

New Member...

Recommended Posts


Hey there, I am a new member here... I really don't know what to say... I am trying to find more support out there for genital herpes. I just found out I got them and am really scared. I am only 21, and I feel like I screwed up my whole life.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites
Butterfly of the Moment

Hey, I understand what you're feeling. I'm 23 and I caught genital herpes in May...I sometimes feel like my life is over. My brain can handle having the virus...it's a stigma that is the killer, but my heart is having trouble getting a grip. It's a minor skin condition for the most part, but having to hide it from the world for fear of being rejected or judged is a hard concept for most of us. It's the ignorant people who keep the stigma alive and we could do without those types of people anyways. I will tell you that the only thing that having this virus can affect is your sex life. I know it's scary having to tell people you are dating about this, this is the problem with having this virus. I know that if a man cares about you and is not subject to ignorance, then he will not run. I had to tell my exboyfriend I had herpes (I got it when we broke up and then we wanted to get back together) and he loved me so much he didn't care and still wanted to be with me.You are still the same person and should continue to carry on. It's okay to feel sad sometimes but make sure you don't stay sad. Don't let this control your life. You have to overcome this and yes, try to be positive. It's much easier to be down in the dumps all the time and you actually have to TRY to be positive and look on the bright side but it's the best way to go if you don't want to feel like shit all the time. You should look to see if you have any support groups in your area. I heard that they do wonders for people that go. Instant "relief".

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

I still dont understand it hardly at all. I don't know when I got it... I went through a week period of my "college rebound" and dated a few guys, then found my current bf. None of the guys said they ever had an outrbreak before and all blamed me for messing around. My sexual number isn't high, so it makes me feel really terrible. How am I going to date anyone? People are going to walk away once I tell them.

I still don't understand much about it. I have read a lot, but people on here are talking about triggers... I only thought it was from stress... not food...

My outbreaks are so terrible I can hardly walk. They hurt, and are everywhere... from my buttcrack, all the way wrapping around... its terrible. I just finally got a job, but had no money for the copay for my meds, so it never really went away... its 2 weeks now and its just getting worse. Is there anything I can do or get that is cheap that will help it go away?

Why the hell is there no cure for this?

Is it that big of a deal?

It just sucks... I dont like thinking that I could end up giving this to my unborn child... I am not pregnant yet, but how terrible. I have no choice but getting a C-section. I want a support group... but the closest one is pretty far away, and I dont have money for counsiling. I don't want to talk to my family about it because they already freaked out when they heard about it.

I need support and I have no way of getting any. I sit at home and cry and just research this every night. I tried talking to my bf about it and he got mad, telling me I am just pitying myself and I need to move forward, although I get what he is saying, it hurts me very badly. I need to talk to someone.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites
Butterfly of the Moment

Hey, sometimes it is difficult to pinpoint exactly where you got the virus. Approximately 40-60% of people don't get symptoms or recognize their symptoms...so the fact that these guys don't get outbreaks is not surprising. One of them may very well have given you the virus so for them to blame you outright is immature and ignorant and only a blood test can be trusted.

I think you should be able to talk to your boyfriend about this to vent, maybe not all the time, but when you need to. It's not nice if your boyfriend is not supportive. Yes, you should look ahead and try to move on, but this can't be done overnight. He shouldn't make you feel worst. I have a boyfriend too and he's willing to listen to me talk about this, sometimes it makes him sad but he tries to make me feel better. Does your boyfriend have herpes as well? I understand it's difficult to tell people. But not everyone walks away. People that care about you and not just likes you will not just brush you off once you tell them. The stigma influences people but if the men you choose are intelligent and not ignorant and if you present yourself as someone worth loving and being with, tell them in a calm and matter of fact tone that you have genital herpes, and if you are armed with knowledge about the virus so you can answer their questions then the talk will run more smoothly. (I gathered this info from other peoples' successful talk)

Also, diet affects your immune system so if you are eating badly, you are more likely to have outbreaks as opposed to being as healthy as possible. You can take lysine as well, it's a natural supplement that apparently inhibits viral growth. And Olive Leaf supplements as well. About 25% of pregnant women have genital herpes...and generally a doctor will only approve a c-section if you are having an outbreak at the time of delivery. The vast majority of people who pass on the virus to their baby are people that don't know they have the virus. It is actually rare to pass on the virus to a child during labor. Also, your doctor can put you on suppressive medicine the last month or so of your pregnancy to prevent outbreaks. My doctor said a c-section is the last resort. I'm not worried about this. Don't let this fear stop you from having children.

Also, there are herpes support phone lines...you can search for them online...I briefly looked and found The American Social Health Association's

Herpes Hotline has counselors available daily to answer questions and offer telephone support.

ASHA can be reached at 919-361-8488.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Krys, as far as the outbreaks, Valtrex will help. I had no insurance when I got it but I went to planned parenthood and they work on a sliding scale so if you don't make a lot of money, the cost is reduced. They should be able to give you a prescription for the generic version, I think my copay is $25 but it's well worth it. I also take Lysine.

As far as the triggers, many things affect the immune system but it's important to try and stay healthy overall.

For me, the hardest part was emotional and psychological. My dating life came to a complete halt but it's important to remember that there are many people out there with this and even some without H but are willing to accept and love you regardless. Just slow down, get some support either here or as the other poster suggested, the hotline and know you have people that have been there and can help. It's hard to imagine right now, but it will get better and easier to deal with. One day at a time.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  


Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • Trace67
      It doesnt really mean much yet. They still dont know if the herpes is taking advantage of a diseased brain or causing the disease. Furthermore, there is evidence that Alzheimer's might be caused by oral spirochete disease and even Lyme. Many of you could have oral Spirochetes but the Lyme and is less likely. https://globallymealliance.org/pathogen-cause-alzheimers-disease/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5008232/ https://newsblog.drexel.edu/2016/02/10/do-infections-cause-alzheimers-disease/   Of course it could be both! Maybe having hsv-1 and oral spirochetes quadruples the risk.  In my opinion the spirochete theory sounds more likely and its hard to dismiss neurosurgeons and caretakers getting Alzheimers from a disease that was previously thought to be non contagious. I'd worry more about Spirochetes.  
    • Rgs77
      Did ldn work.
    • honkschonks
      I wonder if people in the military are tested for hsv, because the general public isn’t. You have to specifically ask for it and many doctors don’t even see the point because it’s “so common”. It’s very possible he has it and has no symptoms or very mild random symptoms. Sorry to hear what you’re dealing with. It seems like women’s symptoms are worse than men’s.
    • WilsoInAus
      No that’s not the issue at all. The absolute vast majority of nerve pain is not caused by herpes. Hence it cannot be used to reverse engineer a diagnosis of herpes. That is exceptinally dangerous and we must do all we can encourage proper diagnosis.
    • ill47
      Do you have an APOE4 gene? I do. I also have HSV-2, which so far hasn't been linked to dementia. Itzhaki previously found that cold sores occur more frequently in those who carry a gene variant that confers increased risk of Alzheimer’s called APOE-ε4. "Our theory is that in APOE-ε4 carriers, reactivation is more frequent or more harmful in HSV1-infected brain cells, which as a result accumulate damage that culminates in development of Alzheimer's," she said.

      So basically, if you carry the APOE4 gene and have oral HSV-1, you chances of dementia could be quite high. But if you have APOE4, your chances of dementia were higher already. Look, 80% of the population has HSV-1. 80% of the population does not get dementia. You also seem to skip over the fact that antiviral treatment can reduce the increased chances of dementia to almost nothing. "The striking results include evidence that the risk of senile dementia is much greater in those who are infected with HSV, and that anti-herpes antiviral treatment causes a dramatic decrease in number of those subjects severely affected by HSV1 who later develop dementia," Itzhaki said. The data from Taiwan only applies to the rare severe HSV1 or VZV infections. The next step will be to study dementia rates amongst people with mild HSV1 infections, including herpes labialis or mild genital herpes. "Considering that over 150 publications strongly support an HSV1 role in Alzheimer's, these Taiwan findings greatly justify usage of antiherpes antivirals - which are safe and well-tolerated - to treat Alzheimer's disease,” Itzhaki said."They also incentivize development of an HSV1 vaccine, which would likely be the most effective treatment." I think it behooves you to do your research and actually read the articles you are posting before pulling the alarm and trying to scare people. 

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.