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simplysweet

I don't know yet...

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simplysweet

Hey everyone,

This is going to sound strange, but I haven't yet been diagnosed with herpes. I feel that I have put myself in enough risky situations in the past to believe that I am indeed infected. I was very stupid and uneducated about herpes in the past, and I'm pretty sure I will test positive.

I've never had an outbreak or rash or anything at all that I can recall. Whenever anything weird was going on I would go to the doc and it was always a yeast infection that cleared up with medication.

The thing is, I won't get my results for 2 weeks (I got the type-specific blood test) and I'm kind of freaking out.

I feel like there is no way I got away with all that sex and all those partners without having caught something. I guess I'm just trying to mentally prepare myself for the most likely scenario, which is a positive HSV-2 result.

I'm pretty pissed off that herpes blood tests were never included in my STD screening, or in most people's for that matter. I've been tested for everything under the sun but NEVER had a blood test for herpes before. I'm scared...but I'm determined to not let this ruin my life. There are so many wonderful people on this forum and this stupid virus shouldn't define anyone.

I will post in 2 weeks with my results. Even if they are negative (which I highly doubt) I will never look at genital herpes the same way again. I can't judge and if I ever come across a future potential partner with herpes I will give him a chance (if I feel that things could get serious).

Thank you everyone for your support and input

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Butterfly of the Moment

Hey, I understand what you're saying. I've put myself in risky situations as well and I obviously now have genital herpes. I hope that your test comes back negative though. It's really the luck of the draw. Some people can have many partners and not get genital herpes and some people have had one and then get it. I hope you get your future partners tested as well before you have sex just so you can protect yourself from any stds you may not already have. GOOD LUCK.

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simplysweet

Thank you for the encouragement. I will DEFINITELY have any future partners tested and I will always be safe from now on. It's just not worth the stress, and there are def worse things out there to catch. I keep trying to stay calm through all this but its hard. I'm single right now, and I'm so scared thinking about the future and having "The Talk" with a potential new boyfriend. I am only 24 and I want so badly to be married one day and have kids. Guess I have to take it one day at a time...

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gotitsowhat

Life is not fair

I am an aging hippie. I lived in the Haight Ashbury section of San Francisco during the height of the wild hippie era of the 1960s. Back in those days, I was so good looking I caused traffic accidents...and I have no idea how many lovers I had during those years. A lot. And I never caught anything.

Then I lived through the disco era of the 70s. I was a graduate student at ASU and I worked in a disco, and then, later, in a bar. I had a lot of boyfriends back then....and I never caught anything.

Then, in my late middle years, after years of living a conservative, quiet life, taking care of my elderly parents while working a steady job, and after being entirely faithful to one man, one man I loved, for ten years.....my man died of lung cancer and....(drum roll, please).....right after he died.....the symptoms appeared. It was the last gift he gave me. I had genital herpes. In my 50s.

Life is not fair. Herpes is not fair. Hsv is not something we get because we "deserve" it. It's like any other medical condition; people get it because it's part of the experience of being human to experience illness at times. Everyone gets something sooner or later. This is a minor medical condition with a ridiculously bad reputation. It doesn't deserve its bad reputation. And you don't deserve to have it.

I hope things work out for you. The statistical odds may be against you due to your many sex partners but individuals are not statistics. You may be fine. I commend you for having the guts to check it out.

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simplysweet

Thank you. Both of you. I realize nobody deserves herpes. I just feel a little guilty about putting myself at risk. It was foolish, mostly because there are other STDs out there that are potentially dangerous. I really wonder why herpes has such a bad rap. It really is harmless in the long run. Like I said, even if I were to test negative, i will NEVER judge anyone for this disease. I realize now that it can happen to anybody, and that most people are responsible and honest once diagnosed. So many of you in this forum are strong, wonderful people. No matter what happens, I will remember this as a learning experience and I will stay active on this forum.

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