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I gave my boyfriend Herpes...

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Hi everyone.

Sorry about being off of here for so long, but as with a lot of us, it seems out of sight, out of mind and seeing as how I haven't had much "problems" with my herpes for a while, I haven't been on here.

Anyway, some of you may remember me and my dating situations, I had a REALLY bad first outbreak-one night stand guy didn't tell me he had it.

Then I had a couple small outbreaks the first year, and this year I think I had maybe one very small one.:) Sometimes I even forget I have this stupid thing if you can believe it! And I don't do any preventative diet or supplements or anything! Though I used to take lysine and I still have some.

So dating was very hard at first because I wasn't comfortable telling anyone or passing it or even talking about it. And all I could do was count out how many people I saw and for every 4 people I would think ok 1 of them has herpes too! But after getting brave and giving it a shot then I came to find out that most guys did not care at all about my herpes and still wanted to be with me/sleep with me/etc. Surprising but true!

So after dating a few guys for a couple months at a time each(ALWAYS telling them first) I met my current boyfriend. I think he is "the one".:))) Or at least I can see myself being with him for a very long time and I haven't felt this way in a very long time.

So we have been together for 6 months now and our sexual situation is this:

he has a hard time staying..... ahem... hard. During vaginal sex. Why I don't know but I stopped trying to figure it out and just kind of accepted it. Sometime he can and sometimes he can't but it is ok with me because I have always enjoyed oral and other things more than normal sex anyway. But we do a lot of different things and love to make each other climax.. But the thing is, the past month or so we stopped using condoms and it helped him stay hard longer!

But then the bad news came, that he showed me the herpes on his penis. He told me he really didn't care and it wasn't that bad and it wasn't my fault and I put tea tree oil on his blisters and they went away. Then he showed me his mouth which had several cold sores on the inside which were very painful and he never got before. So I applied some carmex and waited for it to go away....THEN he showed me his FINGER and hand which had also contracted herpes and had blisters too(herpes whitlow for those of you who aren't familiar) So I also helped him care for it and it went away. We had sex again this week and he got MORE blisters on a wider spread area of his penis. :(((

So now I feel horrible and at fault for not insisting on condoms or a f$%king glove for his hand or dental dams apparantly. I thought you are only able to develop herpes in one area of the body????!!!!! Does anyone have any advice for not having this continue? I mean I don't want to get it in his eye next and BLIND him for gods sake....

And the main reason for not using valtrex or any of that medicine is because I heard in the beginning if you use it it stops your body from building its own anti bodies and so its better to just heal naturally. This is what a doctor told me. :???:Also I don't really believe in being on long term meds. But I do have some back up come to think of it just in case....


Does anyone who is in or has been in a long term relationship with herpes have any advice???? From either side?? I don't want him to feel the way toward me that I felt toward the guy who gave me this. And I don't want him to associate making love to me or touching my vagina with getting a painful result.:(((


Thanks guys. I really appreciate your support as always.

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I ended up with H on the finger, too

That is a pretty wicked outbreak. I have had herpes for about 8 years I think. My first outbreak was terrible and in the process of "examining" myself managed to contract Herpes Whitlow as well. It really sucked to be me for a long time...:rolleyes:

I don't get the cold sores on my face, but do get them on my tongue... Ouch.

I take Valtrex daily because the Whitlow is the worst of the viruses. I have not had any problems with the medication. No side effects or other health issues.

It will get better and as long as he doesn't put the infected finger in eye I think it will be okay. I used to have finger outbreaks frequently, but now its rare. I am just religious about keeping that particular finger away from my eyes. I have a 6 year old and when she was an infant my finger used to break out all the time. I bought stock in latex gloves and had my family help with diapers and any boo-boos. It has gotten much better over time. Hang in there.

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"So now I feel horrible and at fault for not insisting on condoms or a f$%king glove for his hand or dental dams apparantly."

Don't---he knew what he risked---and keep remembering, over 90% of people contract SOME form of herpes in their life

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

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