Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
XCocoX

My Partner and HSV

Recommended Posts

XCocoX

I know he loves me, but I he doesn't want to talk about HSV, the outbreaks, or anything that comes along with HSV. It makes me sad really, that you (great, wonderful, and supportive) people have answered more of my questions, and talk to me about this more than him and I ever have. We both have it, and hes supportive in the sense that he'll help me out if I need help. But he won't go on the computer, or ask doctors questions about it on his own. Hes gave it to me, and I know more about it than he does. We are so in love, but I feel like hes trying to forget he has it, he hasn't had an outbreak down there, yet. BTW I have HSV-1 in the genital area. We had sex after he infected me, so he now has GHSV-1, (we didn't know then that he infected me). He took news very well, but he doesn't understand that it is part of his life now, forever, and he has to be cautious all the time now. I want to know if anybody else has a partner that acts the same way, I love him with all my heart, I love him more than anybody...but I want him to want to know more about this virus, since its part of me and him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MsLucy

I think most women are born with a gift for talking things out. If it bothers you, you want to talk about it. That's natural. It's been my experience, though, that, unlike us, men seem to have a harder time verbalizing things that bother them. Sometimes I think they believe that if you ignore anything long enough, it will just go away.

If I were you, I wouldn't belabor the point. If he knows he has it, and he knows you have it, and you're both okay with it, that's enough for now. Since you're both infected, there's no need for many precautions between the two of you, so there's no immediate need for him to know 'everything' there is about herpes. Share the information as the opportunity arises. That way, he'll learn what he needs to know without feeling as if he's being bombarded at every turn with "herpes!" herpes!" herpes!". That can get overwhelming real quick.

Most of all relax and just enjoy each other. In my opinion, if you have to have herpes, having it with the one you love is the best scenario you can manage. No pressure, no worries about passing it on, no reason to feel 'awkward', and no reason to alter your normal 'activities'. Everything will fall into place if you just don't let it become the focal point of your relationship.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
FaithfulOne

MsLucy has a very valid point. You and him both know that you have this virus, so there is really nothing to "talk" about (in a guys mind, that is)

We are very different "creatures" than men.....We like to talk about, well just about anything and men, well, they just have a hard time keeping up, lol

You are very lucky in the fact that you are not out there trying to "date" and explain this....(as I am)

When I told my hubby, about a week ago, he was devastated, as we both thought we were good, as we have been married over 8 years......We talked about it a little, together, and then I noticed he was on the computer (when I got back home) looking the info. up, so maybe your partner is looking, just not when you are around(?)

I do think that if you want to talk to him about it, then he needs to give you that "shoulder to lean on", so to speak.

Good luck and hopefully he will come through for you and lend you a supportive ear.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shayna

XCocoX, If you caught hsv1 genitally from his oral hsv1, he won't contract it genitally from you. If he's had the virus for a long time his body has built antibodies to defend against contracting the same strain of the virus in another location. So that is why he hasn't had an ob down there, and why he most likely won't. No worries.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
XCocoX

Oh, then he'll never know what I'm going through, ever. Tonight, hes not being nice to me...he said I was nagging when I asked him to help me do dishes, the "nagging" part was when I explained that in my family, when you're not working you help clean the house (hes taking a break from working) and he doesn't do a thing. I work, clean and do so much for him, he just makes phone calls, and thinks he doesn't have to do dishes. And I should also mention that he asked me if I wanted to tune-up a car, I said no, then he said, well...dishes are a womans job. Stereotypical?? I don't know if I can be with him though anymore, I need to be with somebody that I can relate to, and somebody that doesn't act this way, his attitude can go from night to day. We're in love now, but if this keeps on, I'll stop loving him, and its already starting. I feel like I'm completely alone right now, now that I know he most likely won't have an outbreak. And I have to ask, can a yeast infection cause sores, can it look like herpes?I found out I had one like a week ago, and I've never had one, but I think I had this one for a long time. It was itchy, but not that bad until 2 weeks ago. I also never had blisters down there, or pus (from the herpes). Is herpes sometimes confused with a yeast infection, or vice versa? Just want to know... Thanks :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Shayna

I've read a lot of posts where women with genital hsv had a lot of problems with yeast infections and BV. I can't speak from experience, sorry...but I'll bet if you wrote that in under a search, you would find a lot of posts pertaining to it.

I'm sorry you're going through a rough time with your boyfriend! I hope things turn around for the better soon. ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
XCocoX

Thanks Shayna, I have herpes, accepted that already.

I had a lot of itching, and a rash, and I thought that I was having an outbreak. I got some YI medication, and the itching and rash went away.

I just want to mention that I love this site! I don't know anybody on here, but I love everyone! You're all so supportive, helpful, awesome, and caring, and the list goes on. I haven't met anyone on here from Newfoundland, but I hope to! Everytime me and my bf have a little spat, or an arguement, I get right on here, and read, and post, then I feel better.

I'd also like to note that I have no friends, I just moved here 6 months ago, I'm just looking for long time friends to relate to!

Anyone from Newfoundland??!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

Advertisement

Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      68,885
    • Total Posts
      460,907
  • Posts

    • Gems
      I've had neg swabs but I am sure you'll get it. Follow the process. I haven't read the thread in exact detail, but if you have documentation of doctors mishandling your case when you get/ if you get a poss inform them in writing as well as the medical board I think.  Under diagnosis is as problematic as false pos and reducing transmission is good.
    • MikeIke
      @WilsoInAusi wish you were right.  you can't say that with such confidence having never met me though.  I had one MD look at my sore on Sunday @ 8pm, said it was not looking herpetic but to come back in the morning.  I came back in the morning and he said it looked exactly like a cold sore/HSV1 based on the changes / "ablative look" to the skin around the lip.  The Dermatologists have never seen me with a sore until yesterday, too, and had only seen pictures.  They're used to the classic HSV2 look that shows up in Google Images. I think the swab test will be definitive - we broke open the sore and sent it off within  48 hours of appearing.  I'm also waiting for my 13 week IGG type specific HerpeSelect Immunoblot any day now using RequestATest - LabCorp.
    • Gems
      Not really wanting to call Terry.  I'll be checking the term anecdotal as I agree it may not be the best term. Maryland University seems to disagree and there was a researcher looking into random transmissions off poss objects in the eighties.

      There are two cases of torts in the USA in regards to transmission from surfaces. These require a 50% probability in causation and would be medically confirmed. I would say the reason it is less documented as people just deal with it and get on with their lives or it happens more frequently in lower socio economic groups that all just go into denial.

      I'm collecting the less than usual experiences Wilson, and not all professionals agree with Terry. These myths in my experience do not always get around with no basis.
    • Gems
      You can use the ignore button however they will still see your comments.
    • Gems
      The thread was more about antibodies any ways and I was just mostly sharing my experience of reading  those who claim a neg IgG. I am sorry I veered from that here.

      One person I have read here claim neg IgG. And years ago there were two people who also claimed neg IgG.

      It is up to each person to do their own research before they spend money on products.  
×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.