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XCocoX

My Partner and HSV

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XCocoX

I know he loves me, but I he doesn't want to talk about HSV, the outbreaks, or anything that comes along with HSV. It makes me sad really, that you (great, wonderful, and supportive) people have answered more of my questions, and talk to me about this more than him and I ever have. We both have it, and hes supportive in the sense that he'll help me out if I need help. But he won't go on the computer, or ask doctors questions about it on his own. Hes gave it to me, and I know more about it than he does. We are so in love, but I feel like hes trying to forget he has it, he hasn't had an outbreak down there, yet. BTW I have HSV-1 in the genital area. We had sex after he infected me, so he now has GHSV-1, (we didn't know then that he infected me). He took news very well, but he doesn't understand that it is part of his life now, forever, and he has to be cautious all the time now. I want to know if anybody else has a partner that acts the same way, I love him with all my heart, I love him more than anybody...but I want him to want to know more about this virus, since its part of me and him.

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MsLucy

I think most women are born with a gift for talking things out. If it bothers you, you want to talk about it. That's natural. It's been my experience, though, that, unlike us, men seem to have a harder time verbalizing things that bother them. Sometimes I think they believe that if you ignore anything long enough, it will just go away.

If I were you, I wouldn't belabor the point. If he knows he has it, and he knows you have it, and you're both okay with it, that's enough for now. Since you're both infected, there's no need for many precautions between the two of you, so there's no immediate need for him to know 'everything' there is about herpes. Share the information as the opportunity arises. That way, he'll learn what he needs to know without feeling as if he's being bombarded at every turn with "herpes!" herpes!" herpes!". That can get overwhelming real quick.

Most of all relax and just enjoy each other. In my opinion, if you have to have herpes, having it with the one you love is the best scenario you can manage. No pressure, no worries about passing it on, no reason to feel 'awkward', and no reason to alter your normal 'activities'. Everything will fall into place if you just don't let it become the focal point of your relationship.

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FaithfulOne

MsLucy has a very valid point. You and him both know that you have this virus, so there is really nothing to "talk" about (in a guys mind, that is)

We are very different "creatures" than men.....We like to talk about, well just about anything and men, well, they just have a hard time keeping up, lol

You are very lucky in the fact that you are not out there trying to "date" and explain this....(as I am)

When I told my hubby, about a week ago, he was devastated, as we both thought we were good, as we have been married over 8 years......We talked about it a little, together, and then I noticed he was on the computer (when I got back home) looking the info. up, so maybe your partner is looking, just not when you are around(?)

I do think that if you want to talk to him about it, then he needs to give you that "shoulder to lean on", so to speak.

Good luck and hopefully he will come through for you and lend you a supportive ear.

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Shayna

XCocoX, If you caught hsv1 genitally from his oral hsv1, he won't contract it genitally from you. If he's had the virus for a long time his body has built antibodies to defend against contracting the same strain of the virus in another location. So that is why he hasn't had an ob down there, and why he most likely won't. No worries.

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XCocoX

Oh, then he'll never know what I'm going through, ever. Tonight, hes not being nice to me...he said I was nagging when I asked him to help me do dishes, the "nagging" part was when I explained that in my family, when you're not working you help clean the house (hes taking a break from working) and he doesn't do a thing. I work, clean and do so much for him, he just makes phone calls, and thinks he doesn't have to do dishes. And I should also mention that he asked me if I wanted to tune-up a car, I said no, then he said, well...dishes are a womans job. Stereotypical?? I don't know if I can be with him though anymore, I need to be with somebody that I can relate to, and somebody that doesn't act this way, his attitude can go from night to day. We're in love now, but if this keeps on, I'll stop loving him, and its already starting. I feel like I'm completely alone right now, now that I know he most likely won't have an outbreak. And I have to ask, can a yeast infection cause sores, can it look like herpes?I found out I had one like a week ago, and I've never had one, but I think I had this one for a long time. It was itchy, but not that bad until 2 weeks ago. I also never had blisters down there, or pus (from the herpes). Is herpes sometimes confused with a yeast infection, or vice versa? Just want to know... Thanks :)

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Shayna

I've read a lot of posts where women with genital hsv had a lot of problems with yeast infections and BV. I can't speak from experience, sorry...but I'll bet if you wrote that in under a search, you would find a lot of posts pertaining to it.

I'm sorry you're going through a rough time with your boyfriend! I hope things turn around for the better soon. ;)

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XCocoX

Thanks Shayna, I have herpes, accepted that already.

I had a lot of itching, and a rash, and I thought that I was having an outbreak. I got some YI medication, and the itching and rash went away.

I just want to mention that I love this site! I don't know anybody on here, but I love everyone! You're all so supportive, helpful, awesome, and caring, and the list goes on. I haven't met anyone on here from Newfoundland, but I hope to! Everytime me and my bf have a little spat, or an arguement, I get right on here, and read, and post, then I feel better.

I'd also like to note that I have no friends, I just moved here 6 months ago, I'm just looking for long time friends to relate to!

Anyone from Newfoundland??!!

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  • Posts

    • friendlyboy
      Almost certainly that is not herpes. There are a number of diseases that can cause your symptoms, not all of them infectious. If you haven't done so already, go see a doctor as soon as you can.
    • friendlyboy
      Seems likely that you had an asymptomatic infection and now you are having very mild recurrences. Asymptomatic infection is by far the most common case, in particular for HSV1 positive people. It could be a genital reinfection with HSV1, unlikely, or most likely a new HSV2 infection, there is no way to tell without a blood test. It's been long enough for an IGG test but don't bother testing for HSV1, you can already assume you are positive and have been for most of your life. I don't know about how it is where you live, but where I live I don't need to ask any doctor to get tested, I can just go into a clinical lab and order the test for €40. If your test returns negative for HSV2, don't worry about putting her at any risk regarding HSV1, she will have the same risk from anyone else. Acyclovir cream won't do any good, you should stop it (it increases the risk of getting an acyclovir resistant strain). Otherwise, your recurrences are so mild and far apart that it isn't worth it to do any treatment for now, so don't be scared about your health, chances are it'll get better with time. AND ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM
    • lvlvlv4
      Doing a little research, it seems that Amenamevir  and Pritelivir are definitely not chemically identical. How similar are these drugs really? 
    • RHP10003
      I have been working out regularly after being diagnosed in may with ghsv1.  First 3 weeks were awful but haven’t had any OB, symptoms at all since.  I also haven’t been eating as healthy as I should be.  Feel like I never had it. Hope it stays this way.  I think working out helps.  Just my view so far. 
    • lvlvlv4
      Based on current HIV treatment, I would imagine they will create a one-pill combo of pritelivir and valtrex and sell it as a daily pill. But once a week pritelivir + valtrex might also work in the meantime. 
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