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teenie12

just found out

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teenie12

anger doesnt even begin to explain what im feeling right now..stupid jerk didnt tell me he had anything, even used a condom and now i have herpes. Im trying to join the army now who knows whats going to happen..i feel like my life is gone

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sun seeker

Hello Teenie

Anger is a normal reaction to diagnosis, i think most people here went through anger and still revisit it every so often.

Try and find out as much as you can about herpes, theres lots of good information on the right of this page. Education is a good first step in learning to manage this virus.

While i understand that you feel your life is over i encourage you to challenge this thought....herpes is just a skin virus, it really could of been so much worse.

Herpes is not life threatening.

I dont know how this will effect you joining the army, do you have to disclose?

Good luck..

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E2F83

One time?

Just curious cuz I might be in the same boat. Was it a one time encounter? Because I heard that with wearing a condom the chances are extremely low for a one timer.

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FaithfulOne
anger doesnt even begin to explain what im feeling right now..stupid jerk didnt tell me he had anything, even used a condom and now i have herpes. Im trying to join the army now who knows whats going to happen..i feel like my life is gone

Maybe he didn't know(?) It is always a good thing to get tested for STD's every year.....I too have not done that, but will DEFINATELY start, even though I am married.....I have made myself a promise to get tested EVERY year.

That is the unfortunate thing about Herpes.....You can still contract the virus, even with protection......

I am sorry you are having to endure this feeling....I know how you feel....

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teenie12
Just curious cuz I might be in the same boat. Was it a one time encounter? Because I heard that with wearing a condom the chances are extremely low for a one timer.

yeap one time, and the annoying part is i waited like 3 months to have sex with him. eugh so annoying...

yea maybe he didnt know he has it, i havent told him. its so embarressing because i know if i do the first words are gonna be "are you sure you got it from me" and then ill get angry. decided to cut my losses and just not call him or answer his phone calls ever again.

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kittykat12

so scared...and angry

I'm so scared.

I just found out...

it was a new partner, and i just told him

he said he didn't know.

but he also said he never got tested.

i don't know what to do.

he's trying to be there for me and part of me hates him.

i need to vent...don't want to tell friends, because i'm so ashamed

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kittykat12

to teenie12-

i would tell him. maybe he didn't know.

it's awful, but he does need to know.

i just had the conversation with the guy, and it was hard. but he was surprisingly supportive. he claims he didn't know. but he also said he hasn't been tested in a while. so that IS his fault.

i just found out too, and i'm with you. i feel so stupid. and ashamed.

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teenie12

hey kit

yea i have only told my two best friends, i think im going to opt out and not tell him lol..im just so embarressed...i havent spoken to him since, mainly out of anger and humiliation. im glad u had a better experience but this guy is immature and a jerk, whyyy i was with him i still have no idea

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kittykat12

i told my two best buds too-one of whom has hiv.

he assured me that you can learn to live with it. he said it's hard, but you can find peace with it.

and he told me "it's not as bad as it seems"

while i want to believe all that, it's going to take some more time.

i'm here for you to vent...

i'll probably need it to

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E2F83

I'm worried too :(

See herpes is so freaking contagious and it's really not a big deal most people just suppress the virus. What's the point.... I got another blood test today and I'm so worried.... Even at 9 weeks I'm terrified. ( ; _ ; )

The doctor even made a joke... he said "You know what the difference between love and herpes is?....herpes last forever" I didn't think that was funny at all!

I'm gonna crawl into a ball and wait for my results :( I assume I already have it. This feeling is suffocating.

I'm sorry Teenie, life can be so cruel to good people. But it's up to the good people to make a difference! I sat in lecture hall today for the new student orientation and looked around wondering how many doctorate students are affected by this? No matter what I'm on this forum and if you need support just message me.

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teenie12

it really can be..all i can do is make light of the situation..i joke about it with my 2 friends that i told, but it still makes me cry. I only found out like last thursday but it still sucks..good luck to you!

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E2F83

Parents

I've been talking to my Dad, someone who's had a hard life... he was in graduate school too but never finished his Ph.D. just got his Masters, and he's also a war veteran... He laughs at this!!! He then told me that when he was about to get married with my mom and got acid in his eye and thought he was going to lose an eye, he cried and was about to call off the wedding....

I guess what he's trying to tell me is that I want life to be a perfect clean slate, a picturesque idealized world, but life is life and don't sweat the small stuff. Also being Asian, I don't think Asians think of this as a disease but more of a skin condition and they don't understand why Americans freak out about it.... I hate being Asian/American sometimes ;(

Oh yeah, he also told me "atleast it's not HIV" Jeeze!!! Now he gets me worried on something else.

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HITBYHSV

Guys - I know how you feel - but you need to keep a smile on your lips - life is good and believe me it all goes back to normal - dont freak out its just not worth the stress - H is there for life - your doc is right - lol - but its not worth letting this condition ruin yourself - so what? My God - when your OB free you wont think about it and you can still get a partner - its not like your love life is finished.....just have to tell and you will see that you will get credit for being honest....dont worry so much!

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E2F83

To: HITBYHSV

You're very strong. I could not tell my friends, my career would be over. It is hard not to think about it. Considering that I think about sex quite often it makes me feel insecure. This experience has scarred me for life. But it has also brought out a good side of me that I didn't know I had. My blood test came back today negative at 9 weeks, but I'm still worried.

My first test at 4 weeks was HSV 2 IgG ~ 0.1 and my second was IgM~0.1 and HSV2~0.81! If I do a linear extrapolation it's alarming. I'm considering a 3rd test at 15 weeks :(

Dude also, you live in China right? It's not that big of a deal over there. It doesn't carry as much stigma as in the U.S. Seriously if it wasn't for the stigma I think most of us would be fine living with herpes, hell I've had chicken pox and that's similar to HSV2 and it's in me for life.

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  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • Trace67
      It doesnt really mean much yet. They still dont know if the herpes is taking advantage of a diseased brain or causing the disease. Furthermore, there is evidence that Alzheimer's might be caused by oral spirochete disease and even Lyme. Many of you could have oral Spirochetes but the Lyme and is less likely. https://globallymealliance.org/pathogen-cause-alzheimers-disease/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5008232/ https://newsblog.drexel.edu/2016/02/10/do-infections-cause-alzheimers-disease/   Of course it could be both! Maybe having hsv-1 and oral spirochetes quadruples the risk.  In my opinion the spirochete theory sounds more likely and its hard to dismiss neurosurgeons and caretakers getting Alzheimers from a disease that was previously thought to be non contagious. I'd worry more about Spirochetes.  
    • Rgs77
      Did ldn work.
    • honkschonks
      I wonder if people in the military are tested for hsv, because the general public isn’t. You have to specifically ask for it and many doctors don’t even see the point because it’s “so common”. It’s very possible he has it and has no symptoms or very mild random symptoms. Sorry to hear what you’re dealing with. It seems like women’s symptoms are worse than men’s.
    • WilsoInAus
      No that’s not the issue at all. The absolute vast majority of nerve pain is not caused by herpes. Hence it cannot be used to reverse engineer a diagnosis of herpes. That is exceptinally dangerous and we must do all we can encourage proper diagnosis.
    • ill47
      Do you have an APOE4 gene? I do. I also have HSV-2, which so far hasn't been linked to dementia. Itzhaki previously found that cold sores occur more frequently in those who carry a gene variant that confers increased risk of Alzheimer’s called APOE-ε4. "Our theory is that in APOE-ε4 carriers, reactivation is more frequent or more harmful in HSV1-infected brain cells, which as a result accumulate damage that culminates in development of Alzheimer's," she said.

      So basically, if you carry the APOE4 gene and have oral HSV-1, you chances of dementia could be quite high. But if you have APOE4, your chances of dementia were higher already. Look, 80% of the population has HSV-1. 80% of the population does not get dementia. You also seem to skip over the fact that antiviral treatment can reduce the increased chances of dementia to almost nothing. "The striking results include evidence that the risk of senile dementia is much greater in those who are infected with HSV, and that anti-herpes antiviral treatment causes a dramatic decrease in number of those subjects severely affected by HSV1 who later develop dementia," Itzhaki said. The data from Taiwan only applies to the rare severe HSV1 or VZV infections. The next step will be to study dementia rates amongst people with mild HSV1 infections, including herpes labialis or mild genital herpes. "Considering that over 150 publications strongly support an HSV1 role in Alzheimer's, these Taiwan findings greatly justify usage of antiherpes antivirals - which are safe and well-tolerated - to treat Alzheimer's disease,” Itzhaki said."They also incentivize development of an HSV1 vaccine, which would likely be the most effective treatment." I think it behooves you to do your research and actually read the articles you are posting before pulling the alarm and trying to scare people. 
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