Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
SFML

Depressed as hell

Recommended Posts

SFML

Hey all, I'm new to the site. Here's my story...I was with a girl in college for all four years. Finals for senior year come around and she starts to get really stressed out. I'm there for her the best I can be. One day after having sex she says matter of factually that she has some bumps and I'll probably get some too. Like it was a rash of something (no big deal). So like clock work I get some bumps like a week later, I go to the doctor and its H. I'm horrified and destroyed. I had only been with 4 other ppl my whole life (I was 21) and now I have one of the worst STDs you can contract. We fought like cats and dogs after that bc I was so angry and we broke up. Over the last six years I usually only got 1 to 3 OBs a year. For some reason I've had an OB every other week for 3 months now. It's killing me mentally. I feel disgusting and hate myself. What gives?? I'm extremely active (workout often), take my vitamins and l-lysine, sleep, not stressed out, my diet is very healthy (not alot of Arginine) and I'm gettin plagued with OB's to the point where I've been thinking very negatively (as extreme as suicidal thoughts). In my heart of hearts I'm a hopeless romantic, thinking that I'll be alone or have to settle for someone bc I have the H breaks my heart. I don't think I'll ever find anyone that would want to be with me now. I guess that's all,I just feel like sh#t about everything. If your A-symptomatic please refrain from blowing sun shine up my A$$ bc we might be on the same sea but we're def in a different boat.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
FaithfulOne

Why do you think Herpes is the worst virus you could get????? It is actually a VERY COMMON virus......I would MUCH rather have HERPES than alot of other diseases/viruses, that could kill.....

Herpes is a skin disease that one may or may not have any symptoms from.....It is actually one of the few viruses/diseases that I would want over alot of others.

Please take some time and read the facts on herpes, so that you will know exactly what it is and I think you will feel MUCH better and probably even change your outlook on this virus.

Good luck to you and I hope you can take a little while to research this virus, so that you will know it really isn't all that bad.......and also know that it affects over 80% of Americans....they just do not know because they have no symptoms and have never been tested.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SFML
Why do you think Herpes is the worst virus you could get????? It is actually a VERY COMMON virus......I would MUCH rather have HERPES than alot of other diseases/viruses, that could kill.....

Herpes is a skin disease that one may or may not have any symptoms from.....It is actually one of the few viruses/diseases that I would want over alot of others.

Please take some time and read the facts on herpes, so that you will know exactly what it is and I think you will feel MUCH better and probably even change your outlook on this virus.

Good luck to you and I hope you can take a little while to research this virus, so that you will know it really isn't all that bad.......and also know that it affects over 80% of Americans....they just do not know because they have no symptoms and have never been tested.

I said one of the worst, not the worst. common or not, it is ONE of the worst.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Butterfly of the Moment

Hey, sorry to hear that even after the years things have not gotten better. Have you considered suppressive meds? Take them for a while and get off them. I've had genital herpes for 4 months now and I have had 2 outbreaks...they are mild though. I'm a romantic too, but I'm a little let down. Boyfriend and I broke up after 2 years (he wanted a break and I didn't)...I had sex with a man while visiting family abroad...a week later i had symptoms and got tested...I have genital herpes now. Excellent. I told my ex b/c I had planned on getting back together with him and he still loves me and doesn't care. We have our problems though. I do love him but sometimes it's a struggle holding it together. Am I more afraid of facing the world alone again? I'm a little bitter about the way things played out, we were on a break for 3 months b/c he wasn't sure about me and I let him put me on hold and I had one moment of weakness and now have genital herpes. I have no one to blame but myself, but I keep replaying circumstances where this all could have been avoided. I'm sorry if this doesn't help you but I know where you're coming from. I'm afraid of being alone. From the outside looking in I appear to be pretty/funny/cool but it feels like "false advertisement." I KNOW it's not true, my brain is rational and accepting, but my heart is a little slow and stubborn. Don't kill yourself. It's not worth it. I suppose my question is, do you think it's easier to face death rather than a rejection? Fall down seven, stand up eight. If you date women of character who are open minded and you really hit it off, you will have success. There's a man on here who has had "the talk" many times and has yet to be rejected. I'm just saying, put out the best of yourself, show someone why you are "worth" it. I can't help you out the door but I can show you where it is. Good luck.

herpesisnormal.com This website makes me feel better just b/c it's informative and doesn't make me feel like I'm a freak.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
E2F83

I understand

Dude I respect you for saying it like it is. Having herpes is like being a vampire or a zombie, you can bitch about it, but once you get it you'll go through the emotional anxieties that everyone goes through.

Being a hopeless romantic is a bitch when you have herpes and being logical it would definitely make you think about your options in life; having to settle. These two qualities will tear you apart.

From what I've learned is that you can plan all you want in life and things can change in a heartbeat and the only thing that will keep you going is HOPE. Try not to think too far down the line and let your idealistic side take hold and hope for the best.

My dad told me this once, 'our existence on this earth is like a blip in time so try to live the best you can'.

If anything this virus has caused you to do alot of soul searching and you're more aware of the emotional side of relationships and the sacrifices one must make... Any true love you'll find will accept this.

You're the same person as that kid before the finals, except now you're much wiser and your understanding of emotional value is much more indepth than most who go through life jumping from one partner to the next.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
WarriorKing

Your increase in OBs could be stress, or lack of sleep, or something else that changed. I have had this 31 years. Maybe 4 OBs a year now. There were times when I had one come right after another. Try to take a step back. Life can still be very good.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
OverDecadeDeep

Your not alone man, by far. I know some guys in my crew get these blisters on their face, I can see it, I dont mention it , but I see it. Its more common then you realize, and I agree it seems to be one of the worst ones, but its not worth any suicidal thoughts, depression is natural and probably healthy but its up to you to keep it in check. If you feel you cant ,or if this forum cant help, talk to your parents or someone, It helped me out mentally a lot to tell my parents,and was 12 years in to HSV.

Your not alone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
kittykat12

i'm a hopeless romantic too, and just got diagnosed about 4 hours ago. i can't believe it.

i worry about the same things-will i ever find someone who can accept this and love me, in spite of it.

all i can say is, i hope so.

but i'll be honest, i'm not optimistic at this point.

but like everyone here has said, you're not alone. i know that i certainly need a support group. i plan on using this forum-hopefully i'll see you here too.

best of luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SFML
Hey, sorry to hear that even after the years things have not gotten better. Have you considered suppressive meds? Take them for a while and get off them. I've had genital herpes for 4 months now and I have had 2 outbreaks...they are mild though. I'm a romantic too, but I'm a little let down. Boyfriend and I broke up after 2 years (he wanted a break and I didn't)...I had sex with a man while visiting family abroad...a week later i had symptoms and got tested...I have genital herpes now. Excellent. I told my ex b/c I had planned on getting back together with him and he still loves me and doesn't care. We have our problems though. I do love him but sometimes it's a struggle holding it together. Am I more afraid of facing the world alone again? I'm a little bitter about the way things played out, we were on a break for 3 months b/c he wasn't sure about me and I let him put me on hold and I had one moment of weakness and now have genital herpes. I have no one to blame but myself, but I keep replaying circumstances where this all could have been avoided. I'm sorry if this doesn't help you but I know where you're coming from. I'm afraid of being alone. From the outside looking in I appear to be pretty/funny/cool but it feels like "false advertisement." I KNOW it's not true, my brain is rational and accepting, but my heart is a little slow and stubborn. Don't kill yourself. It's not worth it. I suppose my question is, do you think it's easier to face death rather than a rejection? Fall down seven, stand up eight. If you date women of character who are open minded and you really hit it off, you will have success. There's a man on here who has had "the talk" many times and has yet to be rejected. I'm just saying, put out the best of yourself, show someone why you are "worth" it. I can't help you out the door but I can show you where it is. Good luck.

herpesisnormal.com This website makes me feel better just b/c it's informative and doesn't make me feel like I'm a freak.

thank you for that. I don't know if its the rejection or the guilt I would feel if I knew I gave someone the H. I don't want to kill myself I'm just really down lately about it. Can anyone on here imagine getting 8 OB in 3 months??? Its wearing me down mentally, even if I found someone to except me or that had the H too it wouldn't even matter at this point, OB make me feel disgusting and angry, no one would want to deal with that IMO.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
frustrated123

SMFL,

I feel your pain. It's very hard to overcome those negative feelings. It can and WILL happen though. For me, it seems to go in stages. I can go a few weeks feeling normal and happy, and then bang, I start to get an outbreak or hear someone make fun of people with H and I feel like I just want to die. The big thing to remember though is that the outbreaks and jokes will eventually fade away and you will have more happy experiences. It would be a shame to miss out on them.

I recently started taking depression medication. I feel a lot better now but I don't know if it's the meds or that I haven't had a full blown outbreak since I started them. I'll have to wait and see. Either way, I thank God for the moments of happiness I've shared with my family during this time :)

Hang in there. You are just as good, important, and worthy of love as all non-infected people. This condition may put you in a position to find Mrs. Right, maybe someone that you wouldn't have met otherwise.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SiameseDream

Hey man, I'm in the same boat as you. Im getting OBs, one after another. Since I got this (Mar 09) Ive pretty much had consistent OBs with maybe a few clear days here and there.

Hang in there...I'm a hopeless romantic too, wear my heart on my sleeve. Hopefully one day I'll either meet someone with nice with H, or someone who will hopefully overlook it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SFML
Your increase in OBs could be stress, or lack of sleep, or something else that changed. I have had this 31 years. Maybe 4 OBs a year now. There were times when I had one come right after another. Try to take a step back. Life can still be very good.

I'm a fighter, I have a fight in 3 weeks, I know that it's why. Just didn't want to think that something I love to do could cause me so much discomfort (OBs).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SFML
Dude I respect you for saying it like it is. Having herpes is like being a vampire or a zombie, you can bitch about it, but once you get it you'll go through the emotional anxieties that everyone goes through.

Being a hopeless romantic is a bitch when you have herpes and being logical it would definitely make you think about your options in life; having to settle. These two qualities will tear you apart.

From what I've learned is that you can plan all you want in life and things can change in a heartbeat and the only thing that will keep you going is HOPE. Try not to think too far down the line and let your idealistic side take hold and hope for the best.

My dad told me this once, 'our existence on this earth is like a blip in time so try to live the best you can'.

If anything this virus has caused you to do alot of soul searching and you're more aware of the emotional side of relationships and the sacrifices one must make... Any true love you'll find will accept this.

You're the same person as that kid before the finals, except now you're much wiser and your understanding of emotional value is much more indepth than most who go through life jumping from one partner to the next.

Yea, I believe that life is so short I should live it to the fullest and be happy. its just hard when you're with all you friends and you have this horrible secret and its always reminding how different I am from them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SFML
Hey man, I'm in the same boat as you. Im getting OBs, one after another. Since I got this (Mar 09) Ive pretty much had consistent OBs with maybe a few clear days here and there.

Hang in there...I'm a hopeless romantic too, wear my heart on my sleeve. Hopefully one day I'll either meet someone with nice with H, or someone who will hopefully overlook it.

I wish you the very best. Looks like I'm not alone... My emotional depth is my greatest strength and weakness. When I'm happy or loved I feel it through the very core of me. But when I'm hurt or depressed the magnitude of the pain I feel is immeasurable and incomprehensible to most.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SFML
Your not alone man, by far. I know some guys in my crew get these blisters on their face, I can see it, I dont mention it , but I see it. Its more common then you realize, and I agree it seems to be one of the worst ones, but its not worth any suicidal thoughts, depression is natural and probably healthy but its up to you to keep it in check. If you feel you cant ,or if this forum cant help, talk to your parents or someone, It helped me out mentally a lot to tell my parents,and was 12 years in to HSV.

Your not alone.

I have never felt like this until recently. I'm 6 years in. Usually only get a couple a year. I just got one yesterday and one 5 days before that, a total of 9 in 3 months. I'm a fuckin walkin herp (you can laugh, I did when I typed it). Its easier to feel normal when you aren't having OB's all the time. Now I know what the other side of the fence looks like and it sucks. I used to forget I had it sometimes because I went a year without having one in the past. I went from being nearly A-symptomatic to the outbreak monkey..lol. I'm feeling better guys and gals. Herpes is not who I am, its a part of me and I won't let it beat me again. thanks

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
OverDecadeDeep

That reply did make me laugh man, and inspired me also. I can tell your attitude is changing, I hope you keep your head up man. We're here when you need it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

Advertisement

Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      67,945
    • Total Posts
      452,980
  • Posts

    • moialbalushi
      That is what I thought too 
    • infoguy123
      @hopeful22 Sorry, just to save me a bunch of reading and possibly getting nowhere..and I'm not sure I'm asking correctly.. Is cas12a in the casY category?  Is there some list showing each useful enzyme and which category it's in?
    • WilsoInAus
      @Hairpeesthere is absolutely nothing inaccurate in what I have said and I stand by EVERY word. There is not one ounce of fact or accuracy in any of your comments. I’m sorry for your misinterpretations, but their yours alone. I suggest you need to undertake considerable research before commenting further. Please lift yourself.
    • hopeful22
      I was going to post something about this but I figure this should help people understand before this thread goes haywire.  CAS12A remember cas12a  Instead of CRISPR cas9 crispr cas12a is a more precise and deemed more safe.  In the past couple weeks CRISPR has had a lot of bad publicity over new research, but last week it was discovered that another enzyme CAS12A is very precise and safe.  I am guessing that Excisionbio is going to switch gears and start using CAS12A instead of cas9.  please see the article published last week.  https://www.genengnews.com/gen-news-highlights/crispr-cas12a-more-precise-than-crispr-cas9/81256099
    • vzhe
      bad UI design. but I agree. they probably consider HSV-1 and HSV-2 comparable enough and will do each with a different CAS to see what works better.. and then likely do another study with whichever wins the comparison...
×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.