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How easy is it really to catch??

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Hi, need some imput as I'm getting conflicting opinions - I have gotten cold sores, oral every few years, but so really don't think of it. Never had a thing "down below" and two days ago I had a weird kinda feeling, but I've gained some weight and jeans were tight and just thought I kinda got a pinch or irritation from just that.

A couple hours later, a new boyfriend came over and we had sex about four hours frm this first tingle, for lack of a better term, with a condom - just a quickie, and later that evening that little "thing" down below became more uncomfortable and so anyway, today I had a dermatologist appt, this is two days later exactly, and he looked at it and said I had herpes.....talk about awful timing.... told him I just had sex two days ago when I first felt the first sign but didn't know what it was, and the dr. said the chances of my boyfriend getting it was so extremely slim.....he didn't say not to tell him, but since the boyfriend had a condom on and he didn't have any open skin, that even though I had the first inkling of it, boyfriend probably, with most probability will not get it.

Can this be true? I mean, now I have to deal with the idea that I have this at all, and if I knew it would'n't have had the quickie. Instead I think I have an irritation from my tight pants, but dr. says my boyfriend more than likely is fine. No guarentee, but the chances are that so so small.

Anybody agree? Anybody know the stats on getting this under above circumstances? What are the chances I infected this guy with the first inkling of an outbreak, a condom, no open skin on him in a quickie?????

I'm just besides myself. Please give me some opinions, and the more the better, THANKS

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I tend to agree with your dermatologist about the likihood of your bf getting it from that encounter. Very slim chance. However, the right thing to do is to tell him exactly what happened. You didn't do anything wrong, but he should know that if things start to feel weird, he should be checked instead of just shrugging it off.

If I was you, I wouldn't worry too much, but I would tell him. You'll have to anyway if you're going to continue to have sex. Better now than later, and then have to aplogize for not being upfront about it. Waiting usually just adds to the problems.

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God bless you, Lucy for your reply. I so appreciate it. I am so upset and need you guys to help me get my feet back on the ground here. Anyone else who can contribute knowledgeably here, please, please do.

Has any man out there been with a woman who was told the "news" and gotten tested and found to be negative? Would love to hear from you too.

I'm just reading, reading, reading and it seems since it was still in the very beginning of a red bump phase, first very few hours of it rearing its ugly head, is to our advantage as it hadn't been full fledged like later that night... I know I'm splitting hairs here, but I really want to know in details of details the chances of contracting this and under what total specific circumstances.

I've also read it's harder for a woman to give to a man. I am going to call my primary dr. today also for imput, but people out there, please share with me what you think and know !!! THANK YOU

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Here I am still freaking about how easy is this to really catch - so it's skin to skin contact. Okay. So for example, if I put my hand on an outbreak for 10 minutes, I will now get outbreaks on my hand? See what I'm asking here? I mean, how does this really work???


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Hi finra,

The links to the right of this page have loads of information on hsv and how to manage it.

Welcome to the forum!

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • Trace67
      It doesnt really mean much yet. They still dont know if the herpes is taking advantage of a diseased brain or causing the disease. Furthermore, there is evidence that Alzheimer's might be caused by oral spirochete disease and even Lyme. Many of you could have oral Spirochetes but the Lyme and is less likely. https://globallymealliance.org/pathogen-cause-alzheimers-disease/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5008232/ https://newsblog.drexel.edu/2016/02/10/do-infections-cause-alzheimers-disease/   Of course it could be both! Maybe having hsv-1 and oral spirochetes quadruples the risk.  In my opinion the spirochete theory sounds more likely and its hard to dismiss neurosurgeons and caretakers getting Alzheimers from a disease that was previously thought to be non contagious. I'd worry more about Spirochetes.  
    • Rgs77
      Did ldn work.
    • honkschonks
      I wonder if people in the military are tested for hsv, because the general public isn’t. You have to specifically ask for it and many doctors don’t even see the point because it’s “so common”. It’s very possible he has it and has no symptoms or very mild random symptoms. Sorry to hear what you’re dealing with. It seems like women’s symptoms are worse than men’s.
    • WilsoInAus
      No that’s not the issue at all. The absolute vast majority of nerve pain is not caused by herpes. Hence it cannot be used to reverse engineer a diagnosis of herpes. That is exceptinally dangerous and we must do all we can encourage proper diagnosis.
    • ill47
      Do you have an APOE4 gene? I do. I also have HSV-2, which so far hasn't been linked to dementia. Itzhaki previously found that cold sores occur more frequently in those who carry a gene variant that confers increased risk of Alzheimer’s called APOE-ε4. "Our theory is that in APOE-ε4 carriers, reactivation is more frequent or more harmful in HSV1-infected brain cells, which as a result accumulate damage that culminates in development of Alzheimer's," she said.

      So basically, if you carry the APOE4 gene and have oral HSV-1, you chances of dementia could be quite high. But if you have APOE4, your chances of dementia were higher already. Look, 80% of the population has HSV-1. 80% of the population does not get dementia. You also seem to skip over the fact that antiviral treatment can reduce the increased chances of dementia to almost nothing. "The striking results include evidence that the risk of senile dementia is much greater in those who are infected with HSV, and that anti-herpes antiviral treatment causes a dramatic decrease in number of those subjects severely affected by HSV1 who later develop dementia," Itzhaki said. The data from Taiwan only applies to the rare severe HSV1 or VZV infections. The next step will be to study dementia rates amongst people with mild HSV1 infections, including herpes labialis or mild genital herpes. "Considering that over 150 publications strongly support an HSV1 role in Alzheimer's, these Taiwan findings greatly justify usage of antiherpes antivirals - which are safe and well-tolerated - to treat Alzheimer's disease,” Itzhaki said."They also incentivize development of an HSV1 vaccine, which would likely be the most effective treatment." I think it behooves you to do your research and actually read the articles you are posting before pulling the alarm and trying to scare people. 

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